Beyond The Exterior

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It's been a long time coming, but the book is finally here. Sorry that the picture is blurry, and I hope that you guys like it.

|Issaiah Love|

"How are you feeling today, Issaiah?"I sat on the same plush white couch in the same almost empty room, talking to the same person as I did every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. My leg bounced up and down as I tried to control myself from rolling my eyes. I was tired of coming here and expressing how I felt. I wanted to just keep everything bottled up and wait until later for it to explode. If only we got everything we wanted.

"Same old same old."I breathed out scooting all the way back and sitting Indian style.

"What's going on with you, you've been doing so good lately?"

"Nothing, I just don't feel like being here today."Dr. Morris scribbled away in his notebook. That damn notebook irritated me. He always made sure to underline everything that he wrote down about me as if it was that serious. My hands ran through my hair and rubbed my scalp as I tried to relax. Weed would be so good right now.

"How are doing with that prescription I wrote for you?"

"It'd be nice if you'd let me take a few puffs to calm myself down."I had slightly higher than mild anxiety.

"Issaiah, how many times do I have to tell you, that cannot be in my office?"

"Please, I really need this right now and I promise I will cooperate."I was literally on my knees begging this man to let me hit the swisher for a quick second. All I needed was release, just a little.

"Three puffs and then you talk."

"Five."

"Two."

"Four and I'll go into depth."

"Go."I raised my hands thanking God he was letting me do this. I all but walked to my bag to grab my blunt and lighter, before running to the window. One. The deadly narcotic started numbing my insides and evaporating my thoughts. Two. It was a bittersweet taste dripping over my taste buds like dark chocolate. Three. My head leaned back in satisfaction grateful for this opportunity. Four. Goodbye deadly delight. Crushing the remains on the side of the brick wall, I put the blunt back in my pouch.

"Thank you so much."I breathed out leaning into the couch more. I went into my purse and pulled out a bag of chips, eating all its content before placing it in the trash.

"Alright, how are you feeling?"

"Better, much better."

"How's your progress since last time I saw you?"

"Well, I was thinking about getting my scars covered."

"What prompted this?"

"I don't know, I'm just tired of looking at them. I feel like they're holding such a big weight on me. I want to be able to wear certain clothes and not have to worry about unwanted stares because I have these scars all over me. I want to be comfortable."

"We've spoke about this a few times before, you don't know where they came from."

"No."

"Are you sure you weren't abused when you were a child?"

"Positive, my daddy never put his hands on me, neither did Yvonne. I was a rough kid with Saga and Benji, I've had a few broken bones but it didn't scar like this."

"I'm going to send you to one of my friends to get these examined."He scribbled on a sheet of paper before tearing it and handing it to me."But that's a great idea to move on. Think of it as a fresh start."