Beyond The Exterior

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Happy New Year Gang Gang Gang🤘🏾👌🏾 2017 has been absolutely amazing and I enjoyed writing for you guys. Thank you much for all the love y'all have showed me. Who would've thought lil ole me would be this popping on the pad. Anyways guys, here's to a new year and a better, glowed up, more popping, more lit and dope us. Happy New Years BTE Gang Gang Gang 🤘🏾👌🏾❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Much Love~Lex

|Issaiah Love|

Dear Issaiah,

I know we're not seeing eye to eye right now. You may hate me for all the reasons you can. Just know that I'm trying to change and prove to you that you will always come first. I want to prove to you that you never have to question whether some other chick has one up on you. You have a special place in my heart. And even though you don't like me, just know that I'm glad that you came into my life January 15th. Even though I didn't care to know you at all that day, I still remember how inviting you were and how good you looked in your white crop top, high waisted blue jeans and beige heels with your hair curly. Know that I'm never going to give up on us. You may not believe it, but I know that it's supposed to me and you forever and a day. Happy birthday Issaiah Soul Love.

Foreign.

"This is what he wrote to you for your birthday?"

"Yes."

"And you're mad about it?"He asked not really sure what emotions I held for the card that Foreign gave me.

"I'm all of the above. I read this card over and over feeling so many emotions each time I did. I wanted to go after him and accept his apology, but I also wanted to yell at him for making me go through so much pain and what I feel like, waste my time trying to prove that it should've been us."

"Ultimately, what do you want from Foreign?"There was so much that I wanted him to do but it always changed. From the jump I wanted a friendship, then I just wanted respect. After that it was back to a friendship then a relationship. Now it's space and hopefully a friendship before anything else happens between us.

"I want him to give me time. I know I'm changing what I want but that's only because the situation has changed."

"Let me ask you this. Do you see yourself being in a relationship with Foreign, or are you just trying to see if he can ace give you everything you've been asking for since day one?"

"I want to be in a relationship with him, I do. I want to give us a chance because I feel like we'd be amazing together."An actual dating relationship with him would be dope. I could see us just having so much fun together.

"But."

"But we are at two different stages in our lives and I honestly believe that if I take him back, I'd invest so much time and energy into our relationship that I'd forget about my growth and my happiness."

"Do you really believe that?"I shrugged my shoulders.

"Kind of."

"Issaiah, I've watched you work so hard to put the same time and energy you put in everyone else, in yourself. You've allowed yourself to come first and you know what you're worth. Being with Foreign isn't going to change that. If you know that you deserve to come first but also want to be with him, then you will make it work. If you don't feel like you'll fully be ready to be in a relationship, then that is ok as well. Just make sure that when you decide, that you choose with your heart."

"Ok."

"What else has been on your mind?"

"My father."