Beyond The Exterior

Σαράντα έξι

I'm looking at this book wondering how the hell I'm on the 46th chapter and Issaiah and Foreign still aren't together. This looks like some Love and Hip Hop shit trying to make the storyline last the whole season. I'm just kidding😕😏🤔. But for real, I'm not sure at what chapter I'll finally have them get together officially.

Side Note: Tell me what my next book should focus on. Drop ideas in the comments.

|Issaiah Love|

Depression:

Definition. A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It interferes with daily life, normal functioning, and causes pain for both the person with the disorder and those who care about him or her. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood.

Depression was heavy in my soul, eating away at me piece by piece. For the past few weeks since I'd awaken from my coma, I had no energy or motivation to do anything. It was like they took my spirit and replaced it with a numb feeling. I tried to suppress it as best as I could, thinking that maybe it'd go away on its own but it still hasn't. I couldn't talk to anyone because in this family, all we did was tip toe around the issue and left it up to God. We hid behind the word thinking that it fixed everything without it even having to be mentioned. While I trusted God to take this feeling away from me, I just wanted someone to talk to about it. Freely and without judgement.

My eyes flickered up to the clock seeing that it read two in the afternoon. In just a few more hours I could have some medicine to ease my pain. My daddy didn't think that I needed to have anymore since he was so worried about me trying to get high off of it. I had fractured ribs, a broken leg, right along with cuts and gashes all over my body. I deserved to have all the medicine I asked for with no hesitation.

It hurt me to know that he would think of me as an addict even after seeing my body and all the bruises that were on me. That should have been the last thing on his mind and my comfort being the first.

"Sai, you have to eat something."

"I'm not hungry."I whispers trying cover myself with the extra blanket that they'd given me. Since I'd been in the hospital, I barely had an appetite. When I did eat it was in small portions and never healthy. I just wanted to heal enough so I could leave.

"You have to eat something, even if you're not hungry."

"No."

"Issaiah."

"I said I wasn't hungry. I'm fine."

"Issaiah eat this damn food."He lunged and me a little and almost shoved the pizza he held in his hands in my mouth causing me to flinch. My mind quickly went to the tragic memory of my torment. I wrapped the blanket around me even more feeling so exposed. Daddy's eyes softened when he saw tears start to gather in mine.

I got that no parent wanted to see their child so low that they had no appetite, but I wasn't in the mood. I wanted to be left alone about eating. When I felt like it, I'd eat. I promise, my greedy ass will eat.

"Please don't make me eat that."The tears started rolling down my cheeks and staining my face. Everyone rushed over to comfort me.

"Weston baby, just give her some space."

"I'm just trying to make sure that she keeps up her energy. Like the doctor said."

"The doctor also said not to force."