Beyond The Exterior

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|Issaiah Love|

He parted my legs like Moses did the Red Sea. Taunted me like Trump to minorities. Treated me like I was his property. He walked closer and closer until the only thing that separated us were our article of clothing. His hand reached out caressing my skin. I tried my hardest to protest but my voice had vanished. As hard as I could, I spazzed out and started kicking. All I had of value and he was trying to take it as if it was nothing. Adrenaline ran through my veins giving me some confidence. My face swung to the right, as my cheek started to sting. His hand wrapped around my neck like a noose, clutching onto my neck like he was trying to take my last breath. It was becoming harder and harder for me to breathe and I could feel myself slowing blacking out. I prayed that God would save me.

Instead of a miracle I received a forceful tear to my panties. He ripped off my bra, piece by piece leaving me naked and afraid. Modesty was the last thing that I could keep. I kicked harder and harder watching as he took his clothes off. He bit his lip as his hands roughly pulled and tugged at my body. I shuddered when he ran his hand over my flower. Let tears gather in my eyes when he climbed on top of me. Cried out when he forced himself inside of me. My body went numb and paralyzed with fear. All I could hear was his hard breathing and grunts and my weeps for him to stop.

"Baby girl, wake up."My eyes opened finding Benji, Saga, Zanah, Von, and daddy all lined up at the foot of my bed holding a weapon.

"What's going on?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out."

"What?"

"You were screaming, yelling at someone to get off you telling them no. We thought someone was in here."Von explained with tiredness written all over her face.

"What were you dreaming about?"I shook my head and placed it in my hands. My shoulders bounced up and down as I tried to contain my cries. All of this was just too much and I wasn't that strong girl I thought I was.

"Baby girl."I heard daddy come closer to me before sitting down on my bed and wrapping me in his arms like he used to do when I was younger."Daddy's here, it's ok. It's going to be fine."I cried hard into his chest letting all my built up emotions out. It had been years since I had a good cry like this. I made sure no one saw me cry or saw me weak and that was built up for years. Slowly but surely my wall was crumbling down.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?"

"I- I. I."I stuttered not being able to say it. I saw their faces fall in disappointment trying to tell me my mistakes.

"I got to go check on the kids, they're probably scared and confused."

"I'm going back to bed."Zanah and Von left out of my room leaving daddy, Benji, and Saga to remain.

"Issaiah, you're still a virgin right, you're not out here having sex are you?"

"Sai, please tell me you're not giving head to niggas."

"What's the nigga's name?"Each of them bomb rushed me with questions that had nothing to do with what I was about to tell them.

"You can't be serious right now. Damn, y'all make assumptions and run with it. I'm still a virgin, but even if I wasn't y'all would be the last to find out."

"Watch you mouth little girl, you're my daughter I'd know."

"I'm still a virgin."