Beyond The Exterior

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|Issaiah Love|

"Nothing is the same anymore. It seems like I'm becoming a different person. Paranoid. I can't sleep I can't eat. I hate it."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Vulnerable. It's like I'm trapped in someone else's body."

I sat in the small room with a group of other people listening to how they reacted to being in an abusive relationship. They had bruises on them coating their body like paint. I felt bad for them. They seemed all depressed, but who could blame them. If I was in their position, I'd be suicidal too.

Dr. Morris wanted me to come here thinking maybe I could get an insight on how to cope with not knowing wear these bruises came from. He always hinted at my daddy and Von, but neither one of them had ever abused me. Yes they'd disciplined me, but it never left a mark.

I tried to get myself out of going to this by since Von thought it was a good idea, here I sat.

"Amanda, you just have to take it one day at a time. It'll get better I promise."The lady, Ms. Inez had told her giving a reassuring smile. I rolled my eyes knowing it was all a script. I wish I could get out of here."Alright, who's next?"Her big eyes roamed across the room and I tried my best to avoid eye contact. But to no avail, she picked me."Issaiah, why don't you tell us a little bit about your situation."

"I don't have a situation."

"You are Dr. Morris's patient right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So my dear, you have a situation."She looked me over."Tell me where did those scars come from?"

"I was a rough kid, played anything and everything with my big brothers."

"Sweetie those don't look like wounds you'd get from scrapes."

"Well they are."

"Issai-"The timer rung meaning that we were finished with our conversation. Quickly, I stood up ready to do the closing message so I could leave.

"I am beautiful, no one can define me. I am God's image, and I love myself."

"Alright, remember next meeting is Thursday at five."Before Ms. Inez could say anything to me, I left the building and went to my car. Who is she to tell me about my body? She didn't know me from a whole in the wall. My phone buzzed in my pocket, startling and making me swerve a little into another lane. Luckily there were barely anyone on the road. Stopping at a red light, I fished it out my front pocket and looked at the name. Amir. He just didn't stop. Yesterday he called and text me non stop apologizing for not letting me know that he was giving other girls rides, and seeing if we could meet some place to talk. Right now, I had wanted nothing to do with him.

I didn't care that he was being friendly to other girls and giving them rides, it was the fact that he didn't tell me. Amir was a friend of my brothers and as much as I wanted to believe that he wasn't like them, the thought still ran through my mind. Guys like Amir couldn't resist a pretty face and a big ass or a girl who said yes to everything. We had been dating for a good solid month and unlike most girls who gave it up on the first night, I was saving myself for marriage.

There was too much that came with sex and I didn't want our relationship to be based solely on it. Amir wasn't someone who I saw myself marrying, but we had a good time together. All I wanted was to have fun and worry about everything later.

The red light turned green allowing me to drive down the road until I turned left to get on my street. After passing the first three houses, I was pulling into the driveway. My bothers black Nissan Titan pulled up next to me. The horn hunked, before everyone got out. I rolled my eyes seeing that Amir was with them. Just great. I got out too trying to rush in the house and go to my room to avoid talking to Amir.