Beyond The Exterior

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Yo, shout out to the best Gang Gang Gang, EVER. It's because of y'all that my book has received 112+ views, 9k votes, and 2.33 comments. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate y'all so much. Thank you to the ones who's been 🅰️1️⃣, since day one. For those who's just know realizing what a dope book this is, welcome to the Gang. 🤘🏾👌🏾

Much Love~Lex

|Issaiah Love|

"Are you ready to say anything?"My shoulders shrugged as my eyes avoided eye contact with him. I'd been doing that a lot lately. I hate giving eye contact and when I do people think that I'm weird because it almost seems like I was staring. He sighed, taking off his glasses in the process. We had been here for fifteen minutes and neither one of us had spoken a word besides the routine greeting.

I told myself that I was going to work on me and better myself. For some reason I just couldn't bring myself to discuss what had been troubling me. It was like I was stuck and no matter how many times I rehearsed the lines over in my head, the words just wouldn't come out.

"Alright, lets start with how you've been doing lately. You can say that you're fine, not so good, anything you want."I looked to the side and chewed on my bottom lip. How did I feel? With all of this that's happened, I was feeling a mixture of things. But then it'd subside and I'd feel nothing. A wave of nothingness resides in my body just taking me through the motions."Come on Issaiah, give me something."

"I don't feel anything."I whispered.

"What?"

"I don't feel anything."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm feeling everything at once and it doesn't feel like anything."

"So kind of like you're numb?"

"I guess, yeah."

"Care to elaborate?"

"A lot of it has to do with Foreign. My frustration, my anger, my hurt. Guilt."

"How so?"

"I've recently had to take a step back from being around Foreign. We were trying to be friends but then our-well my- feelings got involved and I started developing this connection towards him. Then he got in a relationship and I felt hurt because I thought he reciprocated the same feelings that I felt towards him. I tried to be cool and supportive towards his relationship, but I mean he was forcing me to watch him be happy with someone else."

"And it just put you in an uncomfortable, detrimental position?"

"Of course. I felt like it was something wrong with me why I wasn't chosen. It was a slap in the face to say the least. I kept thinking if it was something that I did or didn't do. Maybe I was just too much to deal with or not enough. I don't know."

"And is Foreign still with his girlfriend?"

"No, he broke up with her and then asked me out. He claims that he was wrong for choosing her and it should've been me from the beginning."

"Do you believe him?"

"I knew he had feelings for me. I knew he liked me on some heavy shit but he spent so much time trying to convince me that Lyric was who he wanted and had to be with, so I gave up."

"When did you feel like he liked you more than her?"

"I always knew he had feelings for me more that her but I really think they were developing more for me the night that my ex and his friends attacked me."