A Gintama Fanfic

Sometimes the Rabbit Hole Doesn't Lead to Wonderland

🔹So here's the deal... I was walking to my moms house after I was brutally dumped and a hole came out of nowhere! So now I'm falling and like I have no idea how long for either..... It feels like forever though... Maybe I'll fall forever and ever..... Oh hey look at the ground....🔹 "OH CRAP THE GROUND!" The girl shields her face as her body collides with the ground. Half an hour passes before she wakes up. Groaning she sits up and rubs her head. "Where the heck am I?" She looks up at the sky and sees a ship fly by. "A Ufo?? Ughh my head is to muddled to think about anything... Please tell me I have something for this headache.." Taking off her backpack, she opens it up. She is in pure shock as a huge gasp slips out of her mouth. "Where did all this money come from?!? There's like a million dollars in here!" She spots a piece of paper sitting atop the money, she grabs it and starts reading.
✉️ Kisa,
You may not know me, but I know you. I have bestowed this gift upon you, your backpack will produce endless amounts of money. So every time you take some out, more will appear. If you desire to go home then I suggest you go to Odd Jobs. You'll find them in the Kabukicho District. But if I were in your shoes, I would stay here despite the aliens. You never know, maybe you'll come to love Edo.
Sincerely,
Enzo. ✉️
"Odd Jobs? Aliens? Edo? What the hell is freaking happening here!?" Kisa closes her backpack and puts it back on. Up ahead of her she notices a road, she walks to the side of the road and sticks out her thumb. 🔹Dammit my knees are all scrapped up and my head still hurts... At least I didn't die from the fall...🔹Twenty minutes pass before a car finally comes by. When it stops, Kisa rejoices, she walks over to the front door with a smile on her face. The window rolls down, what she sees only makes her eyes widen with shock. 🔹What the hell?!?! This guy has an antenna and his skin is green...Why does an alien need glasses?!?!🔹 "Do you need a ride human girl?" Uh yes! To Kabukicho District, sir!" "I can take you. Please have a seat in the back." Kisa only stares. "What you've never seen an Amanto before?" "N-n-n-NO, sir!" "That's strange, anyways will you get in or not?" "I will, sir!" Kisa gets in the back and sighs with relief, but ends up tensing up again. 🔹AGHHHH, there's another one in here! And he has something strange in his arms!🔹 "Who are you?" "My name is Kisa, sir! Pleasure to make you acquaintance!" "I'm Prince Hata. Where are you headed, Kisa?" "To the Kabukicho District, sir. I'm sorta looking for someone." "I've been there, it's a terrible place." "Really???? Umm I was kinda wondering, but what is that in your arms?" "This is my precious pet. I have lots of precious pets. Would you like to pet him?" Hata holds up the fuzzball and Kisa grimaces. 🔹Ewwww it looks gross, but I can't refuse right? He's a Prince, who knows what he can do to me. Just smile through it Kisa!🔹 Kisa pets the fuzzball and cringes. "Why is it sticky?" "He secretes mucus when he likes someone." "Oh so he likes me? Y-y-yippee!" The car comes to a quick stop which causes the two to go forward and hit the seat in front of them. "We have arrived." Kisa rubs her nose and smiles, "Thank you very much for the ride.... Uhh..." "Jii." "Then thank you very much, Jii." She quickly exits the car and waves goodbye. The car speeds away leaving a cloud of dust behind it. *cough* *cough* "Ugh, the mucus is still on my hand..." Kisa wipes the mucus onto her shorts and sighs. Looking up she sees the sign that says 'Kabukicho District' "This place looks like a love hotel area... Guess I'll have to ask around, but who to ask? Everyone looks so damn menacing." Kisa walks up to the first person she sees. "E-e-excuse me? I was wondering where I could find Odd Jobs?" "Heh, a little girl? Little girls shouldn't play here, go home and play dollies. This right here is adult territory." The man did it, he hit her pet peeve. 🔹I get it I'm short but I'm 18 years old! This guy is so gonna get it!🔹 "Who the hell are you calling a little girl?!" "You, you little brat!" "Are ya trying to pick a fight you bastard!?" "Not with a little brat like you!" Before Kisa could head butt the man, a green haired woman steps in between them. "Excuse me sir, but whether she is a little kid or full grown woman, you should never lay hands on a girl. I believe you should watch what you say around a girl too. You don't want to insult her." The man looks at Kisa and walks away scoffing. "Um Thank you, uh?" "My name is Tama, and yours is?" "My name is Kisa. Um Tama, I was wondering, but why did you help me?" "I could tell you are a good person. Good people don't deserve to be hurt by the likes of him." Kisa chuckles a bit, "But you don't know me. How can you tell that I am a good person?" "Let's call it one of my Robot perks." "Robot perks?" "Yep I am a Robot." 🔹That's so cool! But she looks really human like, the anomaly on her is her eyes... I'd rather be with a Robot than an Alien..🔹 "Are you perhaps looking for something?" "Oh yes! Do you perhaps know where Odd Jobs is?" "I am heading that way right now. Would you care to accompany me?" "I would love too!" Tama smiles and starts walking, Kisa follows behind. "Are you perhaps, not from around here?" "Ah yes, how could you tell?" "You seem very uncomfortable and your eyes like to pinpoint any object that is weird and unfamiliar to you." "Well my home is really different from here... We don't have any Amanto or Robots... Actually there's a whole lot of things that are different." "Where are you from?" Kisa ponders for a second, "I suppose from another world, but in this case I would have to say a whole other universe." "Do you wish to go back?" "Go back? Hmmmm..." 🔹Do I wanna go back? What am I going back to anyways? An alcoholic mother, a crappy job, the worst break up ever.... The only good thing to happen was that I graduated early... Maybe I should stay, I mean what's the harm? I have an endless amount of cash and no one knows me here. I could build a brand new life!🔹 "You know if you stay here, you probably wouldn't have a sad look in your eyes anymore." "A sad look? Does it really look like that?" "Yes it does. What bothers you?" "A lot actually, where should I start? My father left me and my mom when I was 5, my mom became an alcoholic and left me alone a lot, my job is total crap, and my boyfriend of 3 years just dumped me about two hours ago! There is so much more, you wouldn't belie--- I'm so sorry!! Everyone has problems, I shouldn't complain! I'm sorry!" Kisa bows her head. Tama tilts her head and pats Kisa's head. "Raise your head, you have nothing to be sorry for. If you would like to get a horrible memory off your chest, I'll be glad to listen." "Well I guess when I was 8....."
-*KNOCK**KNOCK* "Coming! It's pretty late, I wonder who could be here." Kisa opens the door and finds the apartment manager standing there. "Oh, Good evening, Manager!" "Good Evening, Kisa. I know this isn't your fault and you probably don't wanna hear this again, but your mother is passed out on the sidewalk. Will you please go get her? I would do it but I have some very important paperwork to do." "Of course, I'll get her right away." "Thank you." Kisa slips on her slippers and runs downstairs, she looks around for her mother and spots her. She melancholically walks over to her and just stares. "Mom, it's midnight, why did you even bother coming home? And what happened to our movie date! You always do this, you never keep any of your promises! Why do I have to take care of you!? I'm 8 years old, I'm the baby, you should take care of me!" Kisa grabs her mothers hand and starts pulling. Her mother slowly wakes up and begrudgingly stands up. "Kisa dear, what are you doing out this late? It's very dangerous out....*Hiccup*" "Cause you got drunk and passed out outside again, for the tenth time!" Her mom starts laughing, "Oh yeah? I really should stop doing that, huh?" When they finally get inside, her mom plops down on the couch. "Baby doll, will you get Mommy some water?" Kisa pulls a water bottle out of the fridge and takes it to her mom. "Thank you, sweetie!" Her mother wraps her in a big hug. "I love you, Kisa.... I'm so sorry about everything... It must suck to have me as a mother.. You probably hate me.." Kisa feels her chest tighten, she tenderly hugs her mother back. "I don't hate you.... I love you very much.." They sit in that position for a few minutes, when her mother breaks the silence, "Alrighty it's bed time! Of you go, to your room. You need to be up and early for school tomorrow." Kisa walks to her room and closes the door behind her. As she climbs into bed, she can hear her mother's silent sobs to turn loud violent ones. Kisa buries her head under her pillow hoping to drown out the sound. Finally she falls asleep. -
"Do you hate your mother?" "Not really, I just don't like the drinking. It turns her into a pathetic human being. If I were to hate anyone, it would have to be my dad. He just left us! For another woman, I mean how shallow can yo--- Sorry, I was complaining again..." Tama shakes her head, "No, I believe you should always get things off your chest and look the time we spent talking made our walk quicker. Just look." Tama points to a sign that says 'Odd Jobs'. "Just go up those stairs and you'll be there. If you ever want to talk again, I'll be downstairs in the snack house." "I would like that. Thanks again!" The green haired woman smiles, "You're very welcome." Kisa runs up the stairs and stares at the door. 🔹Once I knock on this door my new life will start. I'm literally pass the point of no return..... No backward glances! Just have to knock on the door.🔹She takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. She braces herself as the footsteps on the other side gets closer. Kisa holds her breath as the door slides open. "Hello, how can I help you?" 🔹Heh? This guy looks really plain. Can he really help me?🔹 "Miss? Are you okay?" ".....job request...." "What was that?" Kisa begins to speak up, "I'm here to make a job request..." "PLEASE COME IN!!! GIN-SAN, WE HAVE A CUSTOMER! Please just go that way." She nods her head as she slips in. She walks into a room that contains a desk, two couches, and a table. In the corner of the room there was a tv, where a girl with vermillion hair sat in front of. At the desk was a man with naturally wavy white hair. His feet were kicked up on the desk as he read JUMP. "You can go on and sit." The guy with glasses urges her to take a seat. She complies and walks over to the couch, but ends up tripping over something. 🔹Owwwww my face.... What did I trip on?!🔹She looks behind her and sees a big dog. "What on Earth is that?!" "Not from Earth, that's for sure." The man with the JUMP says. Kisa stands up and rubs her nose, she then takes a seat. The one with the glasses comes back with some tea. He takes a seat on the couch opposite of her. "Hello, I'm Shinpachi, how can Odd Jobs assist you today?" "Oh um my name is Kisa and I need help house hunting. I'm kind of new to the entire area and have no clue where anything is." The white haired man stands up and goes to take a seat next to Shinpachi. "We do charge money, little girl. And I'm not talking your five dollar allowance." 🔹 Must resist the urge to stab this guy with a spoon..... RESIST THE URGE!!!! 🔹 "Gin-San, don't be rude to our customer. I apologize on behalf of this idiot, this is Gintoki-San. He is the leader of Odds Jobs. Kagura-Chan, introduce yourself." The orange haired girl jumps up and takes a seat next to Kisa. "I'm Kagura! I'm the queen of the Kabukicho District! And the thing you tripped on is Sadaharu." 🔹So there is Gintoki, Kagura, Sadaharu, and Shinpachi.... Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can remember that! 🔹 "You don't need to worry about money, I am fully capable of paying you guys. How does four hundred dollars each sound?" Gintoki and Shinpachi's jaws drop in shock. Kagura excitedly jumps up and down. Shinpachi quickly recovers his composure, "Kisa-San, that is twelve hundred dollars! How will you pay for a house!" Kisa opens her backpack and pulls out the twelve hundred dollars, she slams it down on the table. "Please take care of me," Kisa says as she bows her head. Gintoki stands up and grabs his sword. "You heard her! Let's go!" For the entire afternoon they went around town, but couldn't find a good place. Each place had some weird quirk or were not suited for human habitation. They returned to Odd Jobs by dusk. "We couldn't find one.... They were all so bad, not even a roach would live there." "Gin-Chan, why doesn't she live with Anego?" "We're not trying to give her death by horrible food, that's why!" Shinpachi adjusts his glasses and sighs, "Kisa-San, I'm sorry we couldn't find you a home. We'll return your money for now." 🔹I can't complain! Everyone has problems, mine will be fixed soon enough... I'll let them keep the money for now. They really did help me out a lot.🔹 "Please don't! Thanks to you three, I now know where everything is! Don't worry about me, I'll figure something out. Thank you very much, Odd Jobs! I look forward to seeing you all again!" Kisa waves goodbye and walks away. Tama walks outside and frowns, "Gintoki-San, that girl holds everything in, please don't leave her alone. Because it would please me very much to see her real smile." "Yeah yeah, I'll think about it." Gintoki goes upstairs and goes inside. Kagura and Shinpachi follow suit.