A Gintama Fanfic

Baka Nii-Chan

-----------------June 1st----------------
"Kagura, what's the matter? You look spaced out..." "Nothing's wrong.." Kisa sits in front of Kagura and pouts, "I know you still aren't upset about the fact Sougo and I are dating... It's something else, you know you can tell me. I'll be here to listen." "It's that idiot's birthday... I hope he's rotting in a ditch somewhere!" Kisa thinks for a second. 🔹It's not Sougo, Gintoki, or Shinpachi... I don't believe it's Kondo or Hijikata either... Who's birthday is it then?🔹 "Who is this idiot, you speak of?" "Baka Nii-Chan! And hope he is in a hole dying." "You've told me a little about him... What exactly does your brother do?" "Harusame... Space Pirates." Kisa cringes at the word Space Pirates. "Ew no... Why?" "He's a criminal." "Well I would've guessed that when you said Space Pirates. Ugh I freaking can't stand those damn words anymore!" Kagura begins to laugh, "You're so weird!" "I'm weird?! I was kidnapped by Space Pirates along with Sougo! It was like a double hell!" "But you like the Sadist?" "That's the point! That little butthole literally took advantage of that and used it against me!" Kagura laughs even more. Kisa smiles, "Hey Kagura, how about we go out and get some pickled seaweed?" Kagura jumps up and grabs her umbrella. "LETS GO!" "Hahaha! Okay okay! Gintoki, Kagura and I are going out!" Gintoki picks his nose, "Yeah yeah, bring back some strawberry milk!" "I'll think about it." Kisa and Kagura head to the Oedo Mart. Once there they buy twenty boxes of pickled seaweed. Kisa puts them in her bag and laughs, "Did we really need that much?" "Yes! We need it for a later snack!" "Well we could always do a contest." "Contest?" "Yeah to see who can eat more of it!" "I would automatically win-aru! You're tiny stomach wouldn't be able to handle it!" "Or so you think." "Is that a challenge?" "Damn right it is!" Before they could start their contest, a black car pulls up I front of them. People with masks come out and places bags over both of their heads. Kisa and Kagura are dragged into the car within a second. "Hey, what the hell is this?! Why can't we go anywhere without getting kidnapped!" Kagura puts up a fight and punches one of the guys in the face. "Agh! Dammit China! Calm down!" 🌂China, only the Shinsen-Idiots call me that!🌂 Kisa stops struggling and growls with frustration, "Grrrr.... Are you telling me, we were kidnapped by the Shinsengumi!" The bags are removed from their heads. Kagura looks at the man she punched and discovers it was Kondo. "Oh Gorilla, you're nose is bleeding. That's gross." "Who's fault do you think that is!" Kisa looks at the old man in front of her and then looks at Kagura, "Who's the old guy?" "That's Matsudaira Katakuriko, the director of the Shinsengumi!" Kisa looks at him and grimaces, "So why did we get kidnapped?" Kondo crosses his arms, "We need you two to take the Shogun through a maze." "Sho-Chan wants to go through a maze?" "The Shogun! As in the man who runs the country!" "Oh Kisa you've been here four months and you don't know that we're friends with the Shogun." Kisa's jaw drops, "That's so cool!" "Cooler than Space Pirates?" "Kondo, how did you know about that?!" Kondo only answers with a smile. "I knew it! Sougo told you, didn't he!? Look it couldn't be helped! Where I came from there is no such thing as Space Pirates! Hell, where I come from it is no longer ruled by a Shogun." Matsudaira looks at Kisa in disbelief, "Where the hell did you come from?" "Oh you know.... Pretty much here but like a different universe." "That's weird. Anyways will you two watch the Shogun or not?" Kagura immediately agrees, Kisa on the other hand had one more question, "I will agree, but why us?" "It would look less suspicious if it's only two people with him. He'll be wearing a disguise so no one will notice him." "Fine, I agree!" "Good! Driver stop the car!" The car stops, Kisa and Kagura are thrown out. "Meet us at this address in two hours! If your late, you'll have to commit sepukku!" The car furiously drives away. "Umm that was weird... Wait this place is literally two hours away by foot!" Kagura stands up and pulls Kisa up, "Well then let's get walking-aru!" "Is it going to seem weird though. I have a sword and well you have your weapon of mass destruction... Won't it seem suspicious?" "Nope! We always have the weapons anyways! So let's go!" "Alright! Let's go then!" Kisa and Kagura make the walk, when they get there they see Kondo and Matsudaira just standing there, drawing attention. Kisa sighs and face palms herself, "Two big guys like that, shouldn't stand around like that... They look so suspicious..." "Gori-San, over here!" Kondo takes notice of them and beckons them over. They walk over to him, he bends down to whisper to them, "What took you guys so long?" Kisa puts her hands on her hips, "We walked here! That's why it took us so long, plus we aren't even late." Matsudaira hovers over them, "The Shogun is waiting, oh and don't let him get hurt. For every scratch I find him you'll have to commit sepukku that many times." Kisa and Kagura both gulp, they salute and both say, "Yes Sir!" "Good." "Um by the way, where is the Shogun?" Kondo points to the entrance of the maze, "He's over there." Kisa looks over at the Shogun and her jaw drops, "He's literally in common people clothing and sun glasses! What the hell kind of disguise is that?!" Kondo laughs, "He also has a hat! He's fine, see!" People casually walk by the Shogun, not one was even suspicious. "Is everyone really that oblivious? Or they that dumb!" Kondo pushes them towards the Shogun. "Shog--- Sho-Chan, you already know Kagura but this is our friend Kisa." Kisa immediately bows her head, "It's a pleasure to meet you!" The Shogun smiles, "Please raise you head. Instead let us shake hands like normal people would." Kisa lifts her head and smiles. She sticks her hand out and shakes with the Shogun. 🔹My sweet parfait! He's so cool!🔹 Kagura starts to giggle. 🌂Hahaha! Kisa looks like she's enjoying herself!🌂 Once the introductions are over, the three enter the maze. "Sho-San, which way would you like to go?" "Left seems like the right way to go." "Alright let's go-aru!"