A Gintama Fanfic

If You Gotta Piss You Gotta Piss

🔹I hate elevators... The only good thing about this one is that there is a beautiful view behind me... Other than that there is nothing good about them! It's crowded and it reeks of SWEAT! Can the Amanto sweat?! Why does it smell this bad! Stupid Gintoki making me do this delivery!🔹
   - "Kisa go and do this delivery for me." "Why me? Get off your lazy ass and do it yourself." "You barely go outside, unless we're doing a job. If you don't go out soon, you'll end up like a creepy otaku. You'll end up like Shinpachi!" Shinpachi stops folding the clothes and stares at Gintoki. "Who's the creepy otaku, Gin-San?" Kisa lays her face on the couch and groans, "I don't wanna go out though. Sougo will be out there and he'll just step on me like usual.. And I do get out! I go on enthusiastic walks." "Kisa-San, he is just messing with you. He doesn't mean anything bad." "Don't listen to Shinpachi! You should just beat the Sadist up! You're already capable of hitting him! You'll teach him whose boss!" "No no, violence won't solve anything. You should do what all women do best, give him the silent treatment." Kisa sits up and starts laughing, "Okay fine, I'll go make the delivery. No one touch the pudding in the fridge!" "Come back safe, Kisa-San!" "I will!" -
🔹I was able to make the delivery without running into him once. But now I'm stuck in this stinking elevator! Oh look we've reached the 27th floor! WHY DOES THIS BUILDING HAVE SO MANY DAMN FLOORS! At least everyone has gotten off..🔹 Kisa sighs in relief and bows her head in happiness. 🔹Wait a second! I sense a person!🔹 Slowly lifting her head up, her face contorts with horror as she sees who's on the elevator with her. 🔹Of all people to run into, it had to be him! The one person I've been trying to avoid all day! Damn you, Sougo! Please don't notice me! Don't notice me!🔹 *CLANK* *THUNK* *SCREECH*  The elevator comes to a stop and bounces a little.🔹Huh? What's this? No please don't tell me this is happening...🔹 A sound comes from the speaker above the doors. "I apologize for the inconvenience but we seem to be having some technical difficulties with the elevator. It may take all night to fix... But don't worry about it, it will probably take two hours." 🔹No I'm pretty sure he said all night! Sougo you heard him, right?🔹 Kisa leans in to take a look at Sougo's face. 🔹Wait a minute! Why is he making that face? He looks like he's being sent to his death! Why are you shaking! Don't tell me he's afraid of being stuck in an elevator! 🔹 "Do not panic, we'll be playing relaxing music to help soothe the tension." 🔹How is that going to help! Damn you, Speaker Man! Go commit sepukku a hundred times! 🔹 Kisa clears her throat and tries her best to disguise her voice, "Excuse me Officer, are you okay? You're kind of shaking like a leaf.." "I'm great... Just great.." "I would believe you but now you're like a jackhammer." Kisa looks down at his legs and noticed that they were fidgeting a lot. 🔹No way! Don't tell me he....🔹 "Bwhahahaha! I can't hold my laughter back! Sougo do you have to take a leak that badly?" His face quickly turns to one of annoyance. 🔺Shit I don't have time to deal with her! Just wait you damn midget, once I find a way to relieve myself I'm kicking your ass!🔺 "What? No comebacks, don't tell me you actually have to pee that bad?" "Shut up!" "Aww does that mean you don't wanna share this nice, cold, refreshing Pocari with me?" Sougo's left eye twitches out of irritation. "Isn't the sound of it splashing around comforting? Splish, Splash.... Splish, Splash." "Oi oi, do you have a death wish? Remember I have a nice sharp sword just waiting to spill blood." "Ooh is that so? You know I could finish this Pocari in one go and give you the bottle to piss in." Sougo sighs in relief. 🔺Maybe I won't kick her ass today..🔺 "Too bad I'm not thirsty." 🔺YOU SADISTIC BRAT! JUST WAIT TILL I RELIEVE MYSELF!🔺 For about an hour they sit in silence. Kisa sits on the floor and starts rummaging  through her bag. "Let's see... A bottle of Pocari, a box of pickled seaweed, some money, and my JUMP... Where the hell is my phone! Huh a note?"
      ✉️ Kisa, I'm borrowing your phone for the day. You barely use it anyways, all you do is stare at the Sadist's number. If you wanna text him then text him! Anego said that you're so in love that it stops your common sense. I'll give it back tomorrow.
    Love, Kagura✉️
"Just say you're borrowing the phone! Don't add unnecessary details!" As she tries to fight off the blush, she crumples  the note and shoves it back into her bag. 🔹Might as well read my JUMP, gotta kill time somehow... I wonder if Sougo will pee himself? He's been quiet for awhile now, maybe I should talk to him. 🔹 Before she had the chance to open her mouth there is a crash of thunder and a flash of lightning. "Eeeeek!!" Kisa hides her face between her knees. This causes Sougo to laugh, "Aww the little girl is afraid of a little thunder?" Kisa hugs her legs closer to her body. "Shut up, I don't need your crap... I can deal with this alone... It's always alone.." Another crash of thunder happens making Kisa jump up. Sougo laughs even more. She quickly puts herself back into her little huddle. "I hope you piss yourself, Sougo." "The less I think about it, the less it will affect me." 🔹Ha, the moment I bring out my Pocari and starting shaking it around, you'll be shaking like a leaf again! 🔹 *Fshhhhh* *Fshhhh* Kisa turns her head and gazes at the evening view. She turns her body towards the window and just stares. "It is really beautiful when it rains.." Then a loud crash of thunder hits. "Gyahhh! Dammit I hate elevators and thunder!" Kisa glances at Sougo and to her surprise he wasn't laughing. "What cat got your tongue? Aren't you going to laugh?" "Can't move... I'll piss if I move to much." "That's disgusting.." "Aren't you going to laugh?" "Can't, I'm too scared. Sougo why don't you punch a hole in the glass and piss out the hole?"  Silently he walks over to the window. Using his knee, he busts a hole in the glass. "I was kidding! Sougo,  I don't want to see you take a leak!" Sougo unzips his pants and shrugs his shoulders. "If you gotta piss, you gotta piss. But seriously this feels amazing!" Kisa quickly covers her eyes. "Sougo, you're lucky I'm too comfortable to get up and kick you through the window!" He chuckles, "You mean you're just too scared?"
-------------A Moment Ago-------------
Odd Jobs walk through the revolving doors and walk over to the front desk. "Good evening, how can I assist you three today?" Shinpachi adjusts his glasses, "Well our friend came to make a delivery earlier but hasn't come back yet. We were wondering if you've seen her?" Kagura slides a picture over to the lady. "Oh yes, I have seen her. Actually she is one of the two people stuck in the elevator." Gintoki slams his hands down, "Why is my daughter stuck in an elevator?!" "It had broken down two hours ago.. I can get an ETA on when it'll be fixed. Please take a seat over there." The lady points over to a waiting area and smiles, they notice a familiar person. "Gin-Chan look it's Mayora!" Hijikata notices the three and groans, "What are you three doing here?" "Kisa-San seems to have gotten stuck in the elevator. What about you Hijikata-San?" "Sougo is also stuck in the elevator.." "Kisa is stuck with the Sadist!" All four go quiet for awhile until the lady broke the silence, "Excuse me, but it seems that the elevator won't be fixed until tomorrow morning. I'm sorry for any inconvenience." Hijikata and Gintoki run up to the desk and slam their hands down. "You have to get them down now! I refuse to pay for any damages she causes!" "I can't have Sougo blowing anything up! It will give the Shinsengumi a bad reputation!" "Eehh, the Bakufu's dog already has a bad reputation." "Are you looking for a fight you naturally wavy haired idiot?" The lady is startled by their sudden outburst but keeps her composure. "If you look at this screen, you'll notice that these two have nothing violent going on. They even laughed a couple times." The two peer at the screen and their faces darken. "Sougo wouldn't do that in front of a girl, would he..." "Damn Souchiro, exposing my daughter to that!" "You can all return home, if there are any changes I'll contact you right away." "Listen, Kisa has a fear of thunder and being with Souchiro isn't going to make it better. Actually he'll probably make it worse!" "I promise that I'll do anything I can to fix any problems that arise from that. So please in the meantime return home." The two look skeptical until Gintoki sighs, "She's your problem for now and we won't be responsible for any damages that might occur." Odd Jobs leave the building. "Gin-Chan will she be okay?" "Yeah, all that happens now depends on Kisa." "Kisa-San will know what to do. She's not an idiot after all." Shinpachi throws a glance at Gintoki. "The hell is that supposed to mean, Pachi Boy?" "Nothing at all Gin-San." The three walk away laughing.
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"Achoo..... Ugh I feel like someone is talking about me.." Kisa rubs her nose and puts her head against her knees. "Who would talk about a midget like you?" She sighs, "Sougo, I really don't want to fight right now.." A huge crack of thunder rumbles through the sky. "Gyah! I hate myself for being so scared!" Sougo takes off his jacket and throws it on her head. Kisa looks up at him in surprise as she slips on the jacket. "What? Does the little girl need me to hold her hand?" Kisa sticks out her hand, "Well since you offered." A smirk spreads across his face. 🔹I kinda regret saying that now.. He looks like he has something devious planned or maybe that's just his face.. I can't tell because his face is always like that! Or it just looked bored all the time! Maybe I should pull my hand back..🔹 She slowly begins to pull her hand back but he quickly takes hold of it. "Weren't you the one who wanted this?" He takes a seat next to her so that their hands rest peacefully between them. Kisa looks away trying to hide the blush on her face. "Thank you, Sougo." A couple of minutes of silence pass by when Sougo finally decides to break it. "You should sleep. I'll stay awake until the elevator gets fixed." "Um no it's fine. I can stay awake." "I'm not going to fall asleep, midget." "I don't trust you near me when I'm asleep." "I won't do anything to you." "Can I actually trust you?!" "That's for you to decide." "Then how about we both sleep?" When she doesn't get an answer, she looks over at Sougo. He had his eye mask on and was already asleep. "He fell asleep already?!" 🔹Mmm, that's no fair! Why does he look good when he's asleep?! And does he have to hold my hand so tenderly?🔹 Kisa softly whispers, "Stupid, you're only going to make me like you more.." Kisa lolls off and her head rests on his shoulder. Sougo lifts up his mask and looks at Kisa. "You're quite submissive when you're sleeping, huh? Good Night, Kisa."
-----------------Morning------------------
A floor beneath them jumps a little causing Kisa to wake up in a panic. "Oh sweet samurai! What's happening? Where am I?" She quickly looks around and gradually calms down. "Oh that's right I was stuck in an elevator with Sougo.... SOUGO!" She looks to her left and gasps. 🔹I-I-I-I slept with him!! This is not good for my heart!! Wait a second is he still holding my hand?🔹 Kisa peeks at her left hand that is being held by his hand. "W-w-we held hands all night..." "Yeah we did, because someone wouldn't let go. No matter how many times I tried to pull away, you would tighten your grip. Maybe you are a masochist, but only in your sleep." Kisa pulls her hand away and pushes his face away from her. "As if! Don't say such weird things!" Suddenly the elevator door opens. "Good Morning, you two. I apologize for this predicament, but now that it is fixed you may leave." They both quickly stand up and exit the elevator. The lady touches Kisa's shoulder, "Um excuse me, but you have something on your face." "Something on my face?" The lady hands Kisa a compact mirror. Upon opening it, Kisa sees drawing all over her face. Her tiredness immediately changes to anger. "SOUGO!!!" Sougo leaves the building laughing. Using her sleeves, she wipes the pen off her face. "COME BACK HERE YOU DAMN SADIST!" She runs after him but no luck, he was already gone. Kisa returns home very lethargically. "Kisa, you're back!" "How was it being stuck with Souchiro?" Kisa gives Gintoki an apathetic look and sighs, "I gotta take a pee." Kisa goes to the bathroom and slams the door behind her. "Guess it went well then." Kagura starts laughing, "I agree."