A Gintama Fanfic

A Promise Is A Promise

"Kondo! Are you ready for the most intense training of your lifetime!" Kondo salutes, "Yes Kisa Sensei!!" Sougo and Hijikata look at them in confusion, "Hijikata what exactly is going on?" "I have no idea but I feel like we should stay out of it." "Oi Kisa, what are you two doing?" "Dating Advice 101 with your one and only teacher, Kisa Sensei!" Hijikata takes a drag of his cigarette, "As I thought, I don't want to be involved." Sougo grabs Hijikata by the wrist and pulls him down to the ground, "Come on, Hijikata. Let's see what she has to say." "You only want to be around because she's your girlfriend and you're hoping to learn something." Kisa puts on a headband, "Alright it's time to learn!" Kondo claps his hands, "Yes! Learning time!" "Rule number 1: Don't be a stalker! Girls hate it when you're always following them around! Rule number 2: Casually ask her out on a date. Don't be very surprising like popping out of a trashcan.. Some girls like it when a guy calmly walks up to them and asks. So let's put rule 2 into action! Hijikata please demonstrate how you would ask out a girl!" "Wait why me?!" "Because Sougo is a Sadist and Kondo is a Gorilla Stalker." "Who the heck am I practicing on?" "Me, of course!" Hijikata scratches his head and stands up, he walks over to Kisa, "Kisa, I was wondering if you would like to accompany me out on a date tonight. It would bring me great happiness if you said yes." Kisa's eyes sparkle as Hijikata casually stands there, "Hijikata that was so.... PERFECT!!! Okay okay, next!" Hijikata sits down and Sougo goes up, "Let's go have a night on the town... Oh and add woof to the end of your sentences." Kisa's left eye twitches with irritation, "Where the hell did you pull this collar out from?" "Oops, force of habit." Kisa tears off the collar and points at Sougo, "That is not the proper way to ask a girl out on a date! Kondo, you're up next!" Sougo mumbles as he sits down. Hijikata starts snickering. "What are you laughing at?" "Haha, she made you the bad example! It's so sad because you're the real boyfriend!" "Both of you be quiet! It's Kondo's turn." Kondo stands up and walks to Kisa, "Um Kisa, I was wondering if you would like to go on a date tonight?" Kisa smiles, "That was almost perfect, you just need to be a bit more confident." Kondo nods his head and takes a seat. "Rule number 3: You have to have confidence! You saw how Hijikata and Sougo just came up with no problem. Well that's the type of attitude you need. Rule number 4: Don't be super clingy! Girls don't like it if the guy is super clingy the entire date! Show some distance but don't make it awkward! So here's the best practice! Holding hands or maybe linking arms. Depending on the girl and how you do it either one will score you points. Hijikata! Hands or linking arms?" Hijikata thinks for a moment, "Arm behind the back." Kisa nods her head, "You do have a gentle touch so in your case that one works out." Kisa looks at Sougo but quickly looks at Kondo. "What the hell did you skip me for?" "I don't need to hear yours." "I think my opinion counts." "Okay let me answer for you. You don't like to do any body contact in public and when you do its always hand holding." "That is not entirely true!" "Okay when was the last time you and I have ever linked arms?" Sougo thinks for a second and comes up with nothing. "That's what I thought. Okay Kondo, your turn." "No physical contact at all! But stand at least where our hands could slightly brush." Kisa's eyes water a little, "That sounds so pure.... So so pure and adorable!" Sougo crosses his arms and glares at Kisa, "Alright I think it's break time! After that we'll be learning the final rule! Sougo don't even think about moving from that spot!" Hijikata and Kondo both get up and leave. Sougo stands up and looks at Kisa, "What do you want?" Kisa walks up to him and crosses her arms, "You have a bad attitude, you know that right?" "I don't know what you're talking about. This is my normal attitude." "Bull! If you weren't trying to spread your sadism, I wouldn't have to make you the bad example." Sougo gently takes her by the chin and scoffs, "I have a different way of doing things, so what? You like the way I treat you, right?" Kisa looks him in the eye, "I like it when you're gentle and I like it when you're rough but this is to help Kondo out. Not to make everyone a sadist like you." "So you like it when I'm a mixture of both?" "Annoying! I love you in general, I can't really choose anything I specifically like." Sougo smiles, "Say it again." "I can't choose anything I specifically like?" "No the first part." "Annoying." "You know exactly what I'm talking about." Kisa smiles, "I love you." "Yeah that's exactly what I was looking for." Sougo slowly leans in but Kisa puts a finger to his lips, "Nuh uh! You have to say it back now." "Do I really have too?" "No one is around, you can do it." "Then I love you." Kisa smiles and pushes her lips against his. He happily wraps his arms around her and she does the same, but moments later they are interrupted. "Ahem, I hope we aren't interrupting anything important." "Toshi, Sensei is getting it on with one of the students! What a scandal!" Kisa and Sougo both stare at the two and then back at each other, both smile and separate. The three men take their seats again. Kondo then raises his hand, "Sensei, I want a happy relationship like you and Sougo have!" "I would say go for it but I don't think our relationship is entirely healthy." Hijikata blows out a cloud of smoke, "So what is rule number 5?" "Ah, Rule number 5... This one is the most important rule of all! Rule number 5: Just be yourself.." "Hah? Doesn't that contradict the other rules?" "Sort of, but you see girls don't like it when you play a different character. It's like when Shinpachi tries to stop being the straight man of the story. It doesn't work out and it throws things off balance." Kondo raises his hand, "But if I'm known as a Gorilla Stalker, that won't get me anywhere." "True but the Kondo we all know is kind hearted and so trusting. He never doubts anyone and he's so nice that he gave people somewhere they could call home. And I think that person is very wonderful." Hijikata shields his eyes, "Oh god, she's literally shining with radiance!" Kondo feels tears fall down his face, "Such beauty... Thank you, Sensei." Sougo smiles, "And here I thought I defiled all that light." Hijikata and Kondo both look at Sougo. "You ruined the moment, Prince of All Sadists." "Sougo please don't defile anyone anymore..." Kisa lets out a laugh, "Well I think you're ready, Kondo! Let's go ask Tae-Chan out!" "You're going to help me with that too?" "Yep!" "But how?"