Relieving Some Stress (Seme Male Reader x Laxus) {Fairy Tail}

chapter 7

reader pov

i guess its....ok. its not all bad. i didn't want to rush things like this. its not like i wouldn't wanna get married. let alone to this guy its just....three weeks. we've been dating for around three weeks and he wants to get married. sounds like a desperation move to me. like you just got a regular source of good and satisfying sex and you wanna put a lock and key on it. i dont know. maybe its me. maybe im just not emotionally ready for what it means to wear a ring. ill admit that ive developed feelings for him. it would hurt a lot to see him get hurt in any way. im sure he feels the same way about me but....love? love is  a strong word. love isn't a word you say to someone you've only known for a few weeks. you cant just throw it out there like its meaningless. i mean....am i just being paranoid? am i just trying to rationalize why i shouldn't do this? i dont wanna rush myself but....i kinda wanna know what i wanna do before we get to the alter. he might be ready to say 'i do' but i....i dont wanna hesitate to say it and right now im confident that i would hesitate to say it. orga deserves a quick 'i do' with complete confidence and i dont think that right now i could give him that. shit. that's kinda terrible of me. this is why we are susposed to talk about these things. you dont just decide one day that you wanna put a ring on it. i feel like he was pressured into it. like he was simply told 'you gonna get married'. he didn't get a choice and i happened to be the one who was with him. i dont feel right about this. he sleeps so sure about it but does he know what it means to be married? i dont know. i might just be getting cold feet. no! i know myself. i know myself very well and this isn't the time. they are pressuring him and its pressuring me and i dont like that. marriage happens and they are trying to force it. i sighed. i think im overreacting. yeah. im probably overreacting and i dont wanna take it out on orga. sure he seemed ok with it but i think its more of...acceptance. he is probably worried about it too and wanted to have sex to clear his mind. yeah. i dont think he is dumb. he may be a muscle head but he isn't dumb. marriage is a huge deal. "...babe," i turned my head to look at him. "...you think we can....adopt some kids? cause i kinda wanna have kids," he whispered. ok. maybe he is dumb but that's besides the point. "are you sure about this? marriage is a big deal," i tried to be calm but i could feel my voice shaking. he looked at me like i was crazy. "do you love me? and before you respond....i want you to think about it. is it really love you feel for me?" i said. another crazy look. "what do you mean?" he asked. i adjusted so i hovered over him. "think of it like this. what if....after we got married, i got in a really bad accident. i survived but i could never have sex again. would you still love me?" i asked. i dont wanna pressure him like this but...im a realist. this is something that could happen. he just shrugged. "you know....if we were married, you cant just say 'babe i wanna break up'. it doesn't work like that. especially since i would be the 'head of the family' or whatever," i said. he seemed to be thinking it over. i dont know what he will say but im kinda dreading his answer. whether he say yes or no, im still kinda dreading the answer. he chuckled. "you think that if i didn't love you, i would let you fuck me? its kinda obvious that our roles should be switched. im a lot of things but not an uke. id be the uke for the rest of my life if  it meant i could be with you. that's how much i love you, babe," he said. he said it like it was simple. like that's all the reasoning he needed. like its really that easy. i knew i would dread his answer, whatever it was. im probably overthinking this. im spending all this time trying to tell myself this is a bad move. i must not really love him. if i really loved him....no matter how hard i tried to talk myself out of it, i wouldn't be able to. love is irrational like that. "what about outside the bedroom? where we would spend like 80% of our life? sex is a VERY small part of marriage, orga. compared to our lives, sex is like just a few minutes a day. what about the rest of that time?" i asked. he grabbed the sides of my head and looked at me with concerned eyes. "babe....stop trying to talk me out of this. its not gonna happen. we gonna get married and that's it," he said. i dont like that response. "tsk....if you really loved me then it wont matter how hard i try to talk you out of it. it will still happen. this is for me too. im not gonna lie...im scared shitless of marriage. its a big deal, especially for a guy who wouldn't normally be in a relationship. we have only known of each other's existence for a few weeks now. yeah...i have loved every minute of it. i fucking mastered climbing a mountain just for you, babe. its not that i dont wanna get married i just dont wanna do it sooo soon," i said. first step is to always be honest with yourself. lying to your self will only be detrimental to your future. he gripped my head. "look me in the eye and say it. i wanna hear you say it," he had serious eyes. "dont...dont do that to me babe. im just saying-" he grunted," i dont wanna hear your excuses. i wanna hear you say it. say you love me," he said it sternly. i sighed. "orga-" he literally shoved me out of the bed. it hurt to land. i swear i flew three feet in the air before landing. "just get out," he grunted. i sighed. "or-" "GET THE FUCK OUT!" i put my hands up in surrender. i got up and got dressed. i sent a quick text to lucy. she will be here in a few minutes. i just walked out.