5sos Blurb Book #4

186. mashton

'i can do this.'
'i..i can do this.'
one boy was looking in the mirror of the restaurant bathroom, eyes flicking around his own face for uncertainty because he doesn't know if he can believe his words without seeing their effect.
the other boy was at the same restaurant's table, chewing on his lip and taking deep breaths because he felt like he was suffocating in this blazer that wasn't even his — sweetly laid on his shoulders the instant he shivered — now he's fucking sweating.
the boy with bronze curls gazed upon the walls through the mirror of the bathroom, seeing their green resemble more than a hue on a tiled wall, but eyes sparkling outside in the black booth.
the boy with faded blue hair looked down on the menu on the table, seeing golden cursive of the fancy restaurant's name more than a shade on leather, but on gleaming eyes in the bathroom.
'you can do this, c'mon.' ashton shook his head at himself, chuckling sadly. 'you're acting like he doesn't love you as much as you do him.' he mumbled, his hands coming to the back of his neck and scratching at the skin. his fingers were itching — trying to reach for the box in his pocket that would possibly change his life for the better.
because claiming michael as finally his was something he had dreamed about since they started with that cheesy sounding title of boyfriends, in which they didn't really pay attention to, both boys shrugging with a small why not give this a try?
that was six years ago.
and it was comical for ashton to think he was truly happy the time before he started loving michael — he a) barely remembers it, but b) the sunshine in his life now dragged him out of the back of his mind with soft smiles and kisses and whining of his name for a cuddle.
he knows what happy is now.
and he had never hated the past more.
because he missed out on so many memories that he questioned why he hadn't met the love of his life sooner — he missed the days where michael's hair was a rainbow of colors - not that it wasn't now, just not as eccentric and common - and he missed the days where he needed somebody more than his own thoughts while his parents were out on business or parties or god fucking knows. he missed the days where his heart was so lonely, an aching throb in his chest, and ashton wishes he could've been there to nudge his way in and fall into a stronger rhythm.
but luke set them up on a blind date and it was one of the best nights of michael's life - y'know, after all the awkward smiles and blushes and somewhat gawks - and ashton still thinks that their hearts were beating the same pattern that night.
'c'mon, ash. the fuck you doing.' he slammed his hands on the counter and stared himself in the eye. 'you. can. do. this.' he murmured, shaking his head slightly before raising his shoulders up with his sigh.

'doll.'
michael jumped at ashton's hand falling onto his arm and he looked up with doe eyes, ashton chuckling softly at his shock and his thumb swiping his cheek.
'did i startle you, kitten?'
michael smiled shyly and shook his head. 'sorry. just zoned out for a second.'
he sunk back into the leather seats and ashton's hand fell off of his face and onto, michael's hand. michael laced his fingers through his and giggled at the size difference he adored so much.
'thank you for taking me out.'
ashton grinned and rolled his eyes fondly, lifting his hand up to sponge kisses all over the back of his hand.
'you don't have to thank me, kitten.' michael's bottom lip slid out and ashton chuckled. 'no pouts.'
michael giggled and ashton bit his lip, his fingers itching for the box again.
his other hand slipped down next to his pocket, his fingers reaching in, biting his lip as he felt michael rub the back of his hand.
'i have a question-'
'can i ask you-'
they both looked up and laughed, giggling and ashton felt like he was basked in sunlight at michael's smile. their giggles died down slowly.
'you first.' michael whispered, resting his face in his other hand and ashton bit his lip.
'okay.' he whispered, putting the box on his lap and taking both of his hands and smiling shyly. 'we've uh, been through a lot together, yeah?' his thumbs on the back on his small hands.
'yeah, why, is something wrong?'
'no, no.' ashton chuckled at wide green eyes. 'nothing's wrong.'
'oh. kay.' he bit his lip. 'so what's this about?'
ashton looked into those orbs that he loved so much and he realized he wanted them gazing at him for the rest of his life — a pretty light green and blue to love every day. he practically collapsed out of the booth and onto his knee, michael's eyes widening at his sudden fall.
but he opened the box and faced it towards michael, the smaller boy's hands going over his mouth when he realized what was actually happening.
'marry me.' he breathed, his eyes filling. 'please.'
michael's breath quickened and he swallowed thickly but didn't move an inch, ashton's heart falling to his stomach. 'please.' he begged him, his tears leaking down his cheeks.
his hands fell from his mouth.
'm-michael?'
but then michael slid out of the booth and onto his own knee and he bit his lip as he reached in his back pocket. he pulled out his own box and opened it, facing it towards the older boy, whose eyes widened.
'marry me, too, then.'
ashton then grinned full on, nodding vigorously and michael followed with his own smile, his own teary eyes, his own happy little sobs.
ashton stood and pulled him up quickly, his arms lowering to his waist as he picked him up and michael giggled.
they didn't even hear the whole restaurant cheering happily.