5sos Blurb Book #4

189. lashton

he didn't know what to do.

it wasn't normal, nothing about it was normal, but he already bought it and how more abnormal would it look — especially with the black cameras flashing every step he took — if he ever returned to the store with red cheeks and mumbling words to return what he personally thought was so fucking stunning.
it wasn't normal.

what was i thinking he won't want me in this it's so bizarre and i've never done anything like this--

let's just say ashton was more than apprehensive about an important piece of the wedding ceremony.

of course he was excited to get ready to marry luke, that tall body and bitten smirk and messy dirty blonde curls laying haphazardly all over the place.
and what with eyes full of stardust and more blues than a sky or ocean, it was impossible to fully know what would happen if those eyes were laid on ashton as he walked down the aisle.

they've had their talks at 2am where ashton's tears were drowning his face and luke's body wrapped around his own, facing the mirror as he whispers you'll always be beautiful to me, and how ashton winced at the taste of salt coating his tongue and at his own reflection.
he's had his insecurities for years, discussions at night and midday in bed — luke had taken days off the moment one tear left his hazel eyes or one sob leave pink lips before they were covered up by the sheets — and luke only cooed with furrowed eyebrows when scratchy voices whispered yet screamed:
y-you're so beautiful and i'm not, i don't know how you're with me, how are you so blind to what's in my reflection luke.
and of course luke made him look up at the ceiling where a mirror was placed — a) for more intimacy on thoughtful nights and b) for times like this — to show him what was swaddled under the sheets. how luke's arms held ashton's upper body and how his legs entwined with his shorter ones, how it was only luke and ashton in bed, nobody or nothing else.
you 'n me, against the world baby, always.

because ashton grew up with a head full of demons — black and hungry for his sanity, so should he contradict the color and meaning with something beautiful?

-

what does your tux look like ash?
he swallowed and looked at his plate, his fork awkwardly clinking as he set it down.
he could feel all the eyes watching him.
'uh, 's um--' he stammered, red cheeks and all, looking towards his blonde fiancé next to him with wide eyes, who smiled softly, then chuckled.
'he's probably nervous 'cause he wants to surprise me.' he smiled at ashton and kissed the top of his head as the table swarmed into low chuckles and ashton forced a laugh.
'yeah, that's..that's why.'
'well yes but all tuxes look the same.' his mother shrugged, 'what makes this, different?'
ashton made his eyes wide, clenching his jaw to basically tell his mum to shut the hell up, but his face fell when he saw luke turn to him out of the corner of his eye.
he cleared his throat.
'well..urm, it's uh-' he bit his lip and luke smiled and shrugged.
'you can tell us. it's not really a surprise.'
oh hell yes it is.
'um, uh-'
'it's stunning.' calum grinned from down the table, who was the only one who was aware of what was happening in ash's head.
'is it?' luke hummed, turning to look at him again. ''course it is. 's you.'
ashton blushed.
'it is?' luke's mother smiled and looked towards ashton for approval.
'um, 's not..black.'
luke wolf whistled and the table fell into more low chuckles and ashton blushed with a smile.
the conversation moved on but ashton felt a hand palm his lower back in between ashton and the back of the chair.
ashton looked up at luke's eyes.
'you're gonna be s'gorgeous.'
ashton gave a small smile, his stomach churning as luke kissed his cheek. 

-

'i-i dunno if i can do this, cal, it-it's too much i-'
'no, ash.'
'b-but what if-'
'ashton.'

the boy with honey curls bit his lip and looked in the mirror at his reflection.
he looked gorgeous.
but he didn't know if luke would see it as he did.
'do you see yourself? luke's a lucky lad if i do say so myself, ash.'
ashton sniffled and shrugged, his head falling as he looked at the material trailing over his waist.
'i-i don't know.'
'c'mon.' calum scoffed. 'the guy can't slap the smile off his face when somebody says your name let alone this, babe, he isn't gonna reject you. he loves you more than anything. you know that.'

-

so with a nervous bitten lip and his mother and father next to him with tears in their eyes, he stood in front of double doors that would open to his future.
'you look beautiful, honey.'
he looked up at his mum and saw tears trailing down her cheeks, and he smiled faintly.
'ready, ashton?'
he looked towards his wedding planner and bit his lip.
then he nodded slowly, the speed building up as his confidence heightened.
and the doors opened.

luke stood at the alter with his eyes on his shoes, his heart jumping with excitement and pounding in and out of his chest.
'ready there, mate?'
he looked up at michael and bit his lip smiling, nodding vigorously.
'never been more ready in my life.'

the doors opened.
luke didn't expect this.
his heart stopped for more than a moment when ashton looked up at him.
dressed in white, he looked angelic.
more than angelic if that was possible — he always swore he stole ashton from heaven.

his heart pounded in his chest and tears fell down his cheeks as he watched ashton float down the aisle.
lace and white and some sparkle — ashton was beaming when he saw luke's tears, and how he sniffled and cried at what he loved so much.
he watched as he got closer and kissed his parents goodbye, walking up to luke who took his hands to help him.

'y-you..' he sniffed 'are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen.' his voice was low as more tears fell down his cheeks, ashton wiping some away. 'you didn't-' he chuckled, smiling, 'you didn't mention anything about a dress.' he whispered and ashton smiled.
'you don't hate it do you?'
'god how i could i hate it, i love it.' he breathed, looking down at ashton's small waist and breathing with astonishment. 'you're an angel.'
'i love you.'
'i love you more.'

we are gathered here today..