Dear readers,
WHY!? I'm such an idiot.
Okay, so today I did my second exam - Law. After the exam, I was talking to my friend Brendon and somewhere along the way ended up crying about my low self-esteem. We went for a walk, and I ended up making out with him! Ugh. BRENDON!
I mean, he was sweet and all, and he's a great guy, but really? Those things are great, but if there's no sexual attraction, then there really is no point.
I just didn't see it coming. I mean, I legit just thought we were going to talk, but then he laid me down and planted a big sloppy wet one on me. He's my friend, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings - I mean, it's his last exam and he's graduating this year - so I forced myself to kiss him back, hoping he'd stop, you know. BUT THEN HE CONTINUED KISSING ME DX DX DX
He even got a hard-on. Ugh. The hole time I was thinking of ways to get him to back the fuck off without offending him. I mean, he might be the kind of guy who gets revenge. If I offended him, he just might go arround telling everyone we made out. Or he might outright lie and say we did more! DX That is NOT how I want people remembering me.
He kept on telling me not to be nervous, but HE was the one shaking like a leaf. That was kind of funny.
I somehow managed to get him to stop by telling him "I'm not ready yet." I spent my whole time critiquing everything he was saying.
GAWD that was gross though. All around my lips were wet with his slobber. I immediately went to the washroom and washed it off when we got back to school. I'm currently chewing gum so I can somehow feel clean again.
FJLBD LGRBBJG EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! FUCK.
I have this disgustingly ewwy feeling all over my body. I feel kind of bad writing this about him, but I just feel so repulsed.
Maybe if I read some yaoi manga when I get home I can get at least some of this feeling out of my body.
Remember when I ws doing that Genocide project for Modern History class? And I got myself to feel better after seeing those pictures of dead genocide pictures? The difference between then and now is that then I was sick to my stomach, now I'm not sick, per say, I just have an icky feeling all over. Like a humongous slug went all across.
Ever felt that way before?
And that was only from him kissing me and laying on top of me. I pity any girl who ever loses her virginity to him. Thank GOD I'll probably not see him again for years. It would be soooooo awkward otherwise.
Ugh. I'm surprised I managed not to outright shove him off.
I dunno, I just don't understand men. I mean, where did he get the idea that I was actually attracted to him? Did I give the wrong signals? If so, I really need to learn to give the right ones so that something like this NEVER happens again. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHH.
I wish I could read yaoi now, but I'm on one of the school library's computers. I guess I'll have to find something else to get my mind off it.
I need to take a shower so I can feel clean again.
See you guys later...
YOU ARE READING
Dear readers,
Non-FictionThis is exactly what it sounds like. Basically a diary that can be freely read by anyone on Wattpad who wants to read it. Everything written here is true and it is all from my point of view. It is me, writing what I think, when I think it. Respond...
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