Forever & Always [ J.G | C.D ]

51- Carly

-10 years ago-

"Cameron!" My tiny voice squealed out, "It's too high!"

"Come on Carly! Don't be such a wussy," Cameron chuckled.

His hands pushed on my back once again forcefully launching me forward a lot higher.

"Cameron! Please stop it," I cried out, the fear of falling again still imprinted in my mind.

"Fine."

His hands gripped my hips, stopping me instantly. The sudden change of g-forces leaving me breathless-- And I mean breathless as I just got the wind knocked right out of me. My body tilted forward still barely grasping on to the the chains of the swing.

"Cameron," I wheezed out, tearing soaking my face, "What's wrong with me?"

"You really weren't faking," His voice was filled with concern.

My body felt weightless and my small hands unclasped from around the thick metal chains, my body fell forward clashing against the the green grass. I faintly remember Cameron yell for anyone who would be able to hear him. And then everything is all fuzzy...

"She's waking up up," A familiar voice gasped.

My eyes peeled open slowly the bright florescent lights starred down into my retinas, blinding me instantly. I blinked away from the me gazing over at my family, confused.

"Where am I?" I asked softly, pulling myself up on the hospital bed.

"The hospital hunny," My mom cooed, rushing over to the side of the bed.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"You blackout and hit your head pretty bad sweetheart, just take it easy," She said, a faint smile on her lips.

"Mommy,' I whined out, my chest burned with each breath of air sucked inwards.

I looked around the room mortified-- Being only 8 years old and trapped in an unfamiliar place in a strange dress of some sort without a single trace of knowledge of your being there was a little terrifying.

"Ah! She's awake now," A slightly older man walked into the room, and by older he has shoulder length grey hair and a face of many wrinkles, "We as well have the diagnosis now."

"What is wrong with doctor," My mom's voice pleaded the man.

"We have diagnosed her with a few forms of Anxiety disorder-- Anxiety is fear. It's the activation of the fight or flight system, which is the system that your body uses to react to fear responses. Anxiety disorders occur because the body is activating that response when no danger is present. But in addition to being fear, anxiety also causes other fears. That's one of the reasons that anxiety can be hard to treat without help. One of the fears it causes is a fear of cardiovascular problems like poor heart health, and often those fears end up contributing to further anxiety. Such as panic attacks which is what Carly was experiencing. I think it may be best if she starts on the antidepressants now-"

My heart felt like it was falling into my stomach, the way it felt on that really tall ride me and my brothers went on this summer at the amusement park. It wasn't a good feeling at all. They were speaking about me like there was something wrong with me-- Like I wasn't human. Pills...disorder...anxiety...

"I was just going to high on the swing set and got a little afraid. Please I won't do it again," My lips quivered, " I'm so sorry mom. Please It won't happen again."

"Sweetheart, you didn't do nothing wrong," my mothers voice spoke calmly.

"I don't want pills. I am so sorry you were worried about me... I'll fix this I'll make it better," I cried out.

Cameron stepped forward, my favorite teddy bear in hand. He extended it towards me, tears welling in his eyes.

"Please quit crying Carly. You are breaking my heart," he whispered softly, "I brought Buggy to help comfort you."

He placed the brown teddy beside me, taking a few steps backwards.

"I don't think this is the best place to be talking about this," The doctor spoke up, nodding towards the door.

Both of my parents got the hint, walking out of the room. I was so sorry I failed them... I wasn't normal anymore. Who would want a daughter who isn't normal anymore...