Forever & Always [ J.G | C.D ]

76- Jack Gilinsky

   My feet scrapped against the rocks under them, music playing softly through my ear buds. Billie Eilish's voice creating a sea of emotions coursing through me. Since I left my whole world a million miles away, music has been a small sanctuary. When I left Carly , it felt like a huge peice of me was left with her, she taught me how to love again, and taught me to be okay in so many ways. In a way, she may have done some horrible things, but she fixed me and made me whole again. She taught me how to be happy, and what it felt like to smile so wide my heart glowed from the inside out. Carly made me a better person. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her taste... her touch... her smell that still lingered. My favorite black sweater, the fibers embedded with her smell were slowly fading. Every peice of her that I had slowly disappearing permanently. But she will always be the best thing I've ever had in my life.

I closed my eyes, imagining her frizzy cinnamon curls and her deep cesious eyes. And the way her lips used to curl in the most unusual way when she was excited. She was beautiful in more than just looks, she had this electric uplifting mesmerizing personality. I'll never understand why she did the things she did, but I know I don't need her to feel guilty for them. What happened between us was straight from one of those girly fan-fictions online. And it wasn't fair to either me or Cameron. And not in a million years would I think those silly cliché love triangles would be my life. Now just wait for it, in a few months her and Cameron will be together, happy, baby in hand. While I'm on the side lines trying to be happy for my freinds. But that's not fair. Why don't I get another chance. Why am I only the side character used as a diversion for Carly to realize she's truly in love with Cam.

I kicked at a few rocks up looking at the water, swaying back and forth.

"Jack," A familiar feminine voice asked, "Jack Gilinsky Is that you?"

The timing of my music couldn't be worse. The long 30 second pause, was far to long. Her voice ringing in my head.

"Madison," I breathed out in annoyance, turning on my heel.

"Looks like things never change," She let out a small chuckle, moving closer, "I never expected you run into you here."

"Yah... I was just leaving."

"Stay awhile," Madison cooed, placing her finger tips on my shoulder.

She moved past me, her smell rushing around me. The nostalgia deepened in my lungs. My heart quickened rapidly her presence making my stomach uneasy.

"It was always so beautiful here, I've missed you so much. Are you done your little 'phase' and ready to come back?" her venomous voice uttered, a smirk from ear to ear as she referred to Carly as a 'phase'.

My eyes scanned over her body slowly, taking in every peice of her every peice that I used to know so well, but that was nothing but a distant memory. An unhealthy, toxic memory. She never loved me-- and she wasn't capable of love.

"I'm leaving," my voice was stern.

My feet managed to take a few steps forward, before her fingers laced around my wrist turning me to face her-- she bit at her plump bottom lip. She looked up at me, seduction burning within her iris' and her lashes fluttered. What did she want; I don't want her. Her tactics that used to burn my insides and turn my legs into jelly now made me... angry. She was manipulative, evil, and she thought she could get whatever she wanted with a flutter of her thick black lashes. My heart didn't belong to her anymore, and it made me angry that this petty act used to get me every time. Every fight, every logical reason to leave her and she would flutter her goddamn lashes and I was hers for the taking.

"Come on Jack," She leaned in slowly, nipping at my ear softly "I know you miss this."

My whole body froze, paralyzed.

"Stop-" I stuttered out, her breath hot on my neck.

"Don't you miss it?" Her lips grazed my neck softly, "The fighting... The making up. How we were always at each other throats."

My breath staggered.

"Nothing is the same. Honestly I've tried to find better but no one-- and I mean no one can satisfy me the way that you can," her nails glided down my skin, grazing the skin on my neck softly.

Her words sent chills down my spine, and her touch sparked so many repressed feelings. Betrayal, jealousy, anger, and resentment. Carly fucking hurt me. Destroyed me, ripped me apart and every time I thought of her losing her virginity to Cameron behind my back it killed me inside, why was I waiting for her like she was suddenly going to come crawling back.

"Fuck it," I murmured, crashing my lips against Madison's. A fistful of her hair gripped between my finger tips, as she moaned in delight.

She had won. And I was going to regret it, but for now I was going to enjoy it.