Forever & Always [ J.G | C.D ]

74- Carly

"Hey Calla! Wait up!" Scotts all too familiar voice shouted down the crowded high school corridors.

A faint smile crept on to my cheeks, hearing his soothing voice. I stopped dead in my tracks, waiting for the scrawny boy to catch up.

"Want to go to this thing with me tonight?" He asked between pants, a goofy smile plastered on his face.

"Attention whore," a voice snarled behind me. A group of girls Sierra, Kimberly, and Jennifer pushed past, laughing hysterically and talking about me as if I wasn't even here.

I looked up at Scott, forcing a smile. His hard green eyes softened, empathy written across his face on bubbly imaginary letters. A look I've been getting a lot. People at school haven't been very welcoming, after Nash, Hayes, and Cameron's popularity has been growing vastly. People aren't to fond of my break up with Jack, or the fact that I dated him at all. They act like it was all just a publicity scam, and a lie. But the worst part is the fact that I'm showing now. And my tiny human, was very noticeable. Last week in chemistry, I had to be dismissed. The chemicals we were working with were incredible harmful, and were known for having women miscarriage. Mr. Graham gave me a heads up, which was a little more than noticeable to half the class. And I have been asked about it for days.

The subtle beep of my phone, broke my thoughts. I looked at Scott apologetically and he nodded understandably. I fished my phone out of my back pocket, seeing Cameron's name flash across my screen.

'Hey, I was just checking in again. It would be really cool if you could answer me...
I really want to know how he/she is doing, I deserve that right you know? I would have been there for you. I still will be there dammit. Just answer me... I love you. -Cameron'

It's been four months of this, ever day I get a text at the same time, always from Cameron. I can't even bare the thought of answering him right now. He doesn't deserve this, but he also doesn't deserve me. And for Jack. Oh my poor Jack. I can't stomach what I've done to him. Cameron will always be connected to me consider that back that his literal mini me is leeching in me right now.

"What is this thing tonight?" I asked, trying to distract myself.

"Well the new star wars is in theaters tonight, and I was wondering if you'd love to go with me?" He ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

"Of course, that sounds great. Would you like a ride home?"

"Sure?"

****

My feet tapped nervously on the marbled white floor of the waiting room, doctors appointments always sparked my anxiety fiercely. Today was also the day, I was going to find out my little ones gender. It was nerve racking to say the least, but I also felt so scared and so alone. But-- I only have myself to blame for being alone. So there is no point in complaining and acting like my life is so horrible, when my actions are my own. I looked down at my phone impatiently, 3:45. My ultrasound was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago. My palms were sweaty, did I even really want to know the gender? Maybe if it was a little girl she wouldn't look so much like Cameron.

"Mrs. Grier, the doctor is ready to see you now follow me," A soft voice cooed, her long black hair swaying as she walked.

"Thank you Grace," I smiled, nodding at one of my mother's friends.

I was instructed to lay on the dark gray exam table, and to wait patiently for the doctor to finish up my report sheet. My eyes wandered to the ceiling, aimlessly counting away. Man these people sure do know how to make a lady wait.

"Hello, Carly. Are you ready?" Doctor Clark's hard voice, asked still staring at the clipboard in between his hands, "So during you ultrasound would you like to know the gender, or keep it a surprise?"

"I would like to know please," I mumbled out softly, unsure of my decision.

"Okay, I need you to lift up your shirt enough for me to see your tummy. And I am sure you already know this but this is going to be cold."

I slowly lifted up my tank top, revealing my slightly raised tummy. The worst part about trying to hide a celebrity pregnancy is it's doesn't work so well when you are originally 5'6 and only 115 pounds. I've always been a small fragile girl, and trust me. I eat food, a lot of food. It has made zero sense to me or any physicians I have spoken with. So at around 3 1/2 months, my tummy was rather noticeable. My eyes wandered back to the ceiling, mixed emotions flowing through my body. My body jerked as the cold slime oozed on my skin.

"Sorry, I should have warned you," Clark chuckled, grabbing the instrument, "You ready?"

I nodded nervously, biting down on my swollen lip. He placed the instrument against my stomach running it up and down-- trying to find the baby or the heartbeat. I looked up at the doctor, a concern expression spread across his wrinkled old face. My heart sank-- This can't be happening. He moved the instrument around slowly searching for a heartbeat.

"There you are!" He said excitedly, "Little one had me worried there for a second."

My heart slowly, calming at the reassurance.

"Thank god you are okay little one," I whispered, looking at the screen.

My baby was beautiful, tears wanted to flow down my cheeks. Love radiating from every part of me. This was my doing-- This little person inside of me was all because of my dumb decisions. It felt magical and I was breathless. This is what it felt like to be a mother. It made me feel monstrous that I took this feeling away from Cameron. He needs to be the father he has always wanted, and he needs to be here for his child.