Forever & Always [ J.G | C.D ]

81- Jack Gilinsky

'Fuck..Fuck..Fuck...Fuck'

I shouted the mantra in my head over and over, pacing around the bedroom. What the actual fuck have I done-- I can't go through with this. This was a whole new level of stupidity, I could have had any rebound and I choose Madison. She made Carly look like a saint with the things shes done.

"Babe, are you coming?" Madison cooed seductively from the bathroom.

The shower was running and steam poured out of the open door. Such a low I have reached. She is probably naked in the shower waiting for me... But here I am planning my escape. My mind wouldn't stop thinking about Carly. When I kissed Madison, part of me just wanted it to be Carly so bad. Months had gone by and nothing seemed to get the image of her out of my heart. She cursed everything I fucked did.

"I can't do this!" I shouted angrily.

"What do you mean?" Madison asked, popping her head out of the bathroom.

I sat down on the bed frustrated, my head placed in the palm of my hands. I gripped on to a fistful of my hair, hating the person I have become. The anger and frustration consumed me and before I knew it I was shirtless crying in Madison's hotel room.

"It will be okay," Madison's voice cooed beside me.

She wrapped an arm around my shoulder and allowed me to lean against her.

"You really did love her," She spoke softly.

She traced circles into my back, her presence calming me. But it wasn't like Madison to be this caring.

"You know, I didn't realize what I was losing when you left. I thought I could keep being this person and you'd stay forever. But in the blink of an eye you were gone," Madison let out a shaky breath of air, "She's stupid to not want to be with someone like you. Someone who just loves so incredibly. It really changes a person."

My heart ached. Madison really cared when I left, and she was showing a side of her that hasn't been seen in years, it was the Madison that I fell head over hells for many years ago. But why did it take me not loving her anymore for her to love me again.

"I can't imagine a life without her Mads. And I know she isn't ever going to love me again. Hell she is pregnant with Cameron's kid."

"If you can't be in relationship with her, then be her friend. Be the bestfreind she could ever have. Do you really love her Jack or do you just miss her company?"

She spoke the truth. Thinking back to everything that me and Carly went through, we were better off being friends. And who knows maybe we could have a life together that just isn't romantic. It would solve everything. Cameron could raise his kid, and I would be the best damn uncle in the world. I missed her so damn much. I missed the nights were we all just laughed and we were one big giant family.

"Went did you become so smart," I joked, nudging her softly.

"When I lost the best damn thing in my life, and I realized I would do anything to just still be able to talk to my him. Maybe we could start over?" She asked, biting at her bottom lip nervously.

"I'd like that."

A/n- Who doesn't love some character development :) Everything is falling into place so perfectly. Forever & Always will be ending pretty soon only a few more chapters.. If you guys would like there to be a book 2, just let me know.