Forever & Always [ J.G | C.D ]

67- Carly

It's been a week since my grandmother passed away-- her funeral is today. I scanned myself in the black long mirror that hung against my bedroom wall. Black was never my color. My cheeks seemed to look permanently puffy and red from crying now. A large black leather jacket hung over my slim figure, a black knee-high dress clung to my body around all of my curves creating an illusion that I wasn't just a skinny stick. A pair of black combat boots strapped to my feet. Black thick eyeliner lined my eyes to create a dramatic smokey eye. Why I even did my makeup when I could barely go moments without bawling my face off was yet another mystery to myself.

"Baby," Jack knocked on the door softly.

"Come in," I mumbled lowly, twisting my hair up into a bun.

He walked in slowly, creeping through the large white door. He was wearing a pair of black jeans, shoes, and a t-shirt. He closed the space between us slowly, resting his hands around waist turning me slowly to face him. He leaned in slowly kissing my cheek.

" I can see that you been hurtin' Baby, don't beat yourself up. Be right here with me now," he sang slowly brushing his fingers cheek, "Be right here with me now."
"Jack..." I exhaled slowly.

"You are my everything Carly. It's killing me to see you like this-- I love you," He whispered softly.

My eyes pierced his, guilt over flooding me. My heart was broken in three ways-- Cameron, Jack, and Grandma.

"I know," I bite down on my lip roughly, "That was beautiful. Thank you, Jack."

I leaned in slowly kissing his cheek. Tonight. Tonight was the night that I would choose. It was cruel to go on like this, I need to face the facts that I am going to lose one of them.

"Carly! Come quickly," Hayes screamed from down the hallway.

I rushed down the hallway to the room where Hayes cries came from, what I saw was horrific. Blood-- Blood was everywhere.

"Get Skylynn out of her Hayes and grab Will!" I shouted between shaky breaths.

Skylynn screamed as Hayes picked her up and carried her away, I rushed to my mother's side. Her left wrist was stained red with crimson blood, a bottle of bourbon in her right hand. Only surface scratches. In my head, I was blessing the gods. Black tears cascaded down her face.

"God damn you!" I screamed at her, "God damn you for being like this. We need you for fuck sakes."

"No one cares anyway," She mumbled, taking a sip from the bottle.

"She was your own fucking mother!" I shouted rather loudly, "And this is how you respect her? Cutting yourself like some damned retard and getting drunk on her funeral day?"

The loud slap echoed through the quiet room, my cheek stung and I fell back.

"Don't you fucking speak to me that way you little bitch," She hissed.

"You're going to the hospital. You need help," I growled coldly.

I stood up quickly, dialing my dad's number. He answered quickly and I filled him in on everything that happened. He said he would come and get her. Will walked into the room and shook his head.

"Not again," he mumbled.

"What do you mean not again?" I asked, tears sprawled across my face.

"Carly... Mom is bipolar. She went off the rocker when grandpa died too," he sighed softly, "You were so literally it was easier to just tell you mom was locked away instead of gone."

"Bipolar," I whispered out slowly, my head spinning.

He walked in the small bathroom attached to the master bedroom, returning with wet clothes. He knelt down slowly cleaning up the blood on her pale ivory skin. The faint stain lingering. My breathing became heavy. And my lungs began to close in on me. No, not right now. I started wheezing and crying harder.

"Move!" A familiar voice called out.

Before my body could hit the ground. Cameron caught my body from collapsing on the ground, he held up my snot-green inhaler to my lips forcing me to inhale the powder. I started breathing slowly, my eyes locked on his. It was hereditary. That's why they were always so careful with me growing up. They were all afraid I would be like her... And I remember them always asking how I was feeling growing up. A number of pills I had to consume until they decided there was no point considering the anxiety attacks were more manageable and rarely happened anymore. He gave me the same look he used to give me as the kid. This was the first time I had seen him since the incident in the hospital. I moved away from him slowly gathering myself-- I began to stand up, and he reacted quickly helping me up.

I looked around the room slowly. Nash and Will were standing beside each other talking lowly. Mother sat on her bed; her head facing down as she cried. Hayes and Sky were nowhere to be thank fuck. And Jack stood in the doorway mortified.

"Carly," Cam whispered, "Are you okay?"

"I am fine. Thank you.."

"Everyone out," Father angrily shouted outside of the room, "Continue on to the funeral and I will deal with her."

"Daddy," Sky cried running down the long hallway, "Is mommy okay?"

"Yes, sweetie. Please go back downstairs," He cooed, shooing her away from the room.

We all exited the room slowly, shock written on all of our faces. In single line formation, we made our way down the stairs into the living room where Hayes, Skye, Jeanne, and Eloise all sat worried. Will rushed to his wife and child, he whispered softly to her. I walked to the kitchen counter grabbing the keys to the SUV. Throwing them at Nash.

"You're driving," I whispered looking down at my shaking hands.

Will and Jeanne took Sky with them, and me, Cameron, Hayes, Jack, and Nash climbed into the SUV. The drive was silent, Jacks around wrapped around his fingers rubbing against my shoulder in attempts to comfort me. I leaned in resting my head on his shoulder. One single tear slide down my cheek as I starred at the back of Cameron's head as he sat in the passenger seat. My family had a lot of explaining to do. Will and my dad were so calm about everything whereas the rest of us look as we had just seen a ghost. What the actual fuck had just happened. Is my life suddenly identical to one of those silly online fan-fictions?