Forever & Always [ J.G | C.D ]

70- Carly

    My eyes lowered down at the trash bin that sat beside my dresser. That stupid fucking piece of plastic haunting my every thought; Jack laid beside me quiet little snores erupting from his lips. His arm loosely draped around my waist. Cameron's reaction still playing over in my head, like a record on repeat. His lips curled into the form of a frown and a blanket of sadness surrounded him. My harsh words echoed through my head, his pain radiated crushing my already damaged soul. Tonight was the night I destroyed Cameron Dallas. Part of me felt righteous for hurting him the way he has hurt me for years-- but in all honestly. I was destroyed myself. The pain in his eyes still fresh in my head.

"I need you to leave Cameron. My boyfriend is going to be back soon. It's best if we don't talk for awhile."

He left without saying anything. But really did he have to say anything, his eyes gave away all the pain that he was holding deep inside. Cameron was my everything. And if that test would have said anything other than what it said he would be the one I wanted to be with. But now I needed to make the smart decision. I needed the stable guy. I needed someone who I knew I could trust. One day I will tell him. And who knows maybe there is still hope that this thing growing inside of me wasn't real. Maybe this was all just a horrible dream. I would give anything to have the test not say positive. Lying to Cameron about it being negative was a horrible thing to do. But, I panicked. If he knew about this parasite inside of me he wouldn't give me any other option but to be with him. He wouldn't give me the option to have it or not. I just needed time to think about everything. Jack and Cameron were both leaving for the tour again next week.

With both boys gone out of my life for awhile, I would be able to think of my actions. I would get to deal with the consequences for all of the fucked up decisions I have made. I was a horrible person. There is no doubt about it. It wasn't a matter of it being a question anymore it was an answer. I have created something completely irrational and messy. So messy I don't even know how to get myself out of it. No matter what happens I lose a friend and a lover. Nash. I needed to tell him. He was the only person who would be able to help. I grabbed Jack's arms slowly, escaping from his grasp. My feet scooted along the shag carpet, as I fled the room. Closing the door behind me, I caught myself staring at Jack. He looked so peaceful-- he didn't deserve any of this. His jaw was clenched tightly, his teeth slowly dragging each other. His tan skin seemed to glow in the dark of the room.

My fingers turned the door knob to Nash's room slowly, peaking my head in first too see if he was awake. And as if on cue he popped his head up, staring at me.

"Carly?" he asked groggily.

"Sorry did I wake you?" I cooed out softly.

He pulled himself into an upright sitting position, and patted the empty spot on his black comforter, gesturing for me to come in. He flicked on his bedside lamp, that sat pleasingly on his dark beige nightstand.

"What's wrong?" He asked tiredly, his hands bawled up into fisted rubbing at his eyes.

"I've made some mistakes.." I dragged on, climbing into the bed next to him.

He wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head on his chest, he let me talk for what seemed like hours. Ranting and raving over every little mistake I have made in the last two months. He didn't judge me the things I had done, he realized that I couldn't even forgive myself for letting all of this foolishness drag on for so long. It was my fault that Cameron and Jack got caught in the crossfire of my selfish ways. It was time to start doing things without them. For the past 2 months they have always been by my side fixing every wrong thing in my life. I actually started to forget who I truly was, I am Carly Grier. I wasn't weak, or always in need of constant saving. My life before I went to make Magcon was perfect, a job at the dance studio, school, and an amazing bestfreind who I have nearly given up on. Things were going to change and I was going to become a better person.