Forever & Always [ J.G | C.D ]

72- Jack Gilinsky

My eyes glanced towards him-- staring at his 'perfect' body. His dirty blond hair styled up into a cowlick. What was so good about him. Why was he so worth breaking my heart like this. It's been awhile since the tour has started back up again, and things just aren't the same. My heart still felt torn, like little slivers were still embedded. And every time I was forced to look at him, it was as if a hammer was being hit against my chest burrowing them deeper. Carly wasn't just another girl. She was the girl. The girl who put my damaged heart back together just to tear it apart again. The month have passed painfully slow; but there wasn't much I could do to get my mind of what happened. Things haven't been made official.

The last words I ever said too her were 3 little words she didn't even know I muttered as she laid on the bed preciously sleeping. No matter what this girl did to me, I couldn't bring myself to hate her. I didn't blame her. I still don't blame her for feeling the way she does. You can't help who you fall in love with... I just wish she told me sooner. My shoes scraped across the black stage as me and Johnson stepped forward. Cameron, Nash, and Hayes walking past cheering at the crowd loudly. My eyes locked with his both of our pain shining through. If we didn't hate each other you would say we were having a moment. Sharing how broken inside we both were. I couldn't even imagine what was going on in his head. She was having his child and she refused too speak to either of us.

The spotlight leaked light into my eyes as I looked up at the crowd. Everyone was silent-- the sound of the equipment buzzing in my ears. Johnson stepped forward towards the single microphone at the front of the stage.

"This is one of our tracks from our unreleased EP 'Gone' that is available in 2 weeks," Johnson spoke cheerfully into the Mic.

A forced smile pulled at my lips, baring minimal amount of teeth. My long fingers reached up, brushing my hair back. The music started to play and it was my queue to step forward and start the first verse. I allowed the beat to consume me and started to do the only thing I knew how to do lately. Losing myself in the painful memories of our short few months together.

"I'm a better man 'cause of you. Thought we had a chance-- That's true. But you have weapons. Didn't know you have weapons. Now I'm insecure and stressed out. When someone gets close, I shut down. Are we second guessin'? Got so many question," I sang in the microphone.

The feeling of her lips on mine, tingling my body at the thought. When I thought of her; When I though of our heartbreak my music became my everything. It was if I was under a hex when I thought of her beautiful locks of cinnamon hair. And those fucking mesmerizing oceans for eyes. She was what beauty should be defined around, she was so beautifully unaware. Even though we didn't end on good terms I still hope she gets the life she deserves. When I think back to the first time I really met Carly Grier. I just smile. She was so sleepy-- So tired. When she fell asleep on me, her head pressed against my thigh and her hair pooled in my lap. She changed me forever.

"You did it to me, 'cause he did it to you. And now I'm gonna turn around and do it to my new girl. I do it to her, she do it to him. This cycle won't ever end 'cause hurt people hurt people. Hurt people, so lethal. Around and around we go. Guess we're used to the pain. Everybody heart breaking. Hungover, love wasted. It's too much we can't take it. Yeah, we all feel the pain. Hurt people hurt people."