Sorry, I'm bad at this. (NSFW AND MATURE CONTENT WARNING) (Lapidot Human AU)

Chapter 12

Amethyst held the door open as Lapis, Squari, and I walked into the dorm room. Pearl glanced over at us with a look of surprise on her face. "Oh hello Peridot. And Lapis. Wait...Squaridot is that you?" Pearl asked, looking even more surprised. "Miss me?" Squari asked smugly, holding her arms out. Pearl squealed and ran into her with a tight hug. "It's been so long! What brings you here?" Pearl asked enthusiastically. 

"I'm actually gonna be transferring here next week, and I was just stopping by to say hi to Peridot. Amethyst then came along and I decided why not have a quick visit before I leave for another week, amiright?" Squari explained, and I rolled my eyes. "Sit down! Make yourself comfortable and I'll get some refreshments!" Pearl exclaimed, and quickly walked into the small kitchen area. Amethyst hopped onto the couch and Lapis sat beside her. Squari was walking toward the spot to the left of Lapis, and I squinted my eyes.

I speed-walked and reached the spot before Squari could get to it, and I silently hissed at her. Squari then decided on sitting on the right side of Amethyst, almost across the other side of the couch. Ha. Lapis seemed to be zoning out, so she didn't notice our little silent conflict. 

. . . .

It had been an hour and a half full of Squari and Amethyst laughing their asses off about my embarrassing moments, and I wanted to just crawl into a hole and die. "Hahaha! Dude dude, you remember that time in 9th grade in Ms. Opal's class?!" Amethyst asked, still giggling. "How could I not?" Squari remarked, and them along with Pearl bursted into another fit of laughter. "Wait what?" Lapis suddenly asked curiously. "WE DON'T need to further elaborate on what happened in that classroom..." I piped up before Squari could answer.

"Aw c'mon, Peri. That was frickin hilarious! She has to know!" Squari said. I sat up to grab Squari's face, but before I could, she placed her palm on my forehead to hold me back. I thrashed like a little kid as Squari smirked at Lapis. "Okay so get this, 14-year old Peridot is obsessed with superhero comic books, right? And all of her favorite superheroes had the skimpiest fucking clothing you'd ever seen, and cosplay day was coming up..." Squari started, and I growled and squeaked.

"...and Peridot got the date wrong for the cosplay day...so she walks into the school dressed as fucking Vampirella!! And it's not even cosplay day, so she's just walkin' around the highschool in this skimpy outfit barely covering her 9th grade boobies and everyone is dying laughing!" Squari continued in between laughs. Amethyst was already having a laughing fit again, and I took my sister's hand off of my forehead and just sunk further into the couch, hoping to just disappear. 

"...so she bursts into homeroom with a smirk on her face and get this...she yells at the top of her lungs 'TELL ME RASSENDYLL!! WHY DON'T YOU FEAR ME MY DEAR?!'" Squari shouted, and that's when Lapis started snickering. She covered her mouth and I heard a small snort come from her as Amethyst, Squari, and Pearl's laughing intensified. "You seriously did that, Peri?" Lapis asked, looking over at me with an amused expression. "In my defense, my mind wasn't fully developed and hormones still surged through my body at lightning speed, okay?!" I argued, and Squari just gave me a skeptical look. Ugh this is a nightmare.

Not only was Squari revealing my whole fucking embarrassing childhood, but she was also making flirty comments here and there to Lapis, and I wanted to punch her face in. She thinks she's so slick and subtle with her words, but it's just sad how much she lusts for Lapis. I'm really hoping that Lapis isn't falling into the hypnotic void that is my psychotic horny sister. 

"Hahaha, yeah...but anyways Lapis you haven't talked much. What do you do?" Squari asked, looking overly interested. "Oh, well I'm a barista down at the coffee shop, and I used to be the Beach City lifeguard. I plan on doing it again this upcoming summer..." Lapis explained. "Wait, you swim? No way! I love swimming! I took classes!" Squari replied. "Really?!" Lapis perked up and it felt like my heart stopped.

"You don't swim, Squari!" I argued, crossing my arms. "I do too! You weren't always included in my life, Peri. However, I don't think you've done any sports lately, have you?" Squari asked smugly, and my face heated up. "Y-you don't do sports either! Just 'cause you swim doesn't mean it's your passion!" I fired back. "Actually, as a matter of fact, I'm in basketball at the moment, and when I transfer here, I'm gonna join the varsity team." Squari bragged, and I grumbled.

"And you know what's another passion of mine? Camping." Squari said. I hate camping with every bone in my body. "Oh dude I used to love camping!" Amethyst chimed in. "We should go on a camping trip sometime." Pearl suggested. "How about this weekend?" Squari asked, and before I could decline, Amethyst and Pearl agreed. Lapis shrugged and said she was cool with whatever, and I huffed.

"Well, it's decided then. Me, Pearl, Amethyst, Lapis~, Peri, and are we bringing anyone else?" Squari asked. "We can bring Garnet." Pearl added, and my sister nodded. "What do you think, Peridot?" Lapis asked me, and I looked over at Squari. She had a there's no getting outta this one, bitch face and I internally screeched. "Oh y-yeah, sounds fun! I'm in!" I said in a fake enthusiastic tone just to keep Lapis happy. "Can't wait!" SQUARI YOU UGLY BITCH TWAT.

A/N: Omg sorry my dudes it's been a while since I've updated this! aNywHo lemme know what you guys thought of this chapter! :) 

Btw, if you wanna see who Peridot dressed as in 9th grade, scroll down and where it says 'External Link' click on it. Aight seeya next time my dudes!!!

-Baggy