Sorry, I'm bad at this. (NSFW AND MATURE CONTENT WARNING) (Lapidot Human AU)

Chapter 21

Peridot's POV:

I felt hot tears threatening to spill down my cheeks, and my chest burned. After I finished drying myself, I threw down the towel and changed out of my suit. I threw on some fresh clothes and walked out into the forest. I just needed some time away from everybody. Squari has pushed me over the edge and she cannot tell me that she wasn't doing it on purpose. I kicked sticks and rocks as I spotted them, storming down the path.

Maybe I should just beg my parents to take me back in. Maybe I should just give up and let Squari take my fucking place. Maybe I should just.... I huffed and sat on the ground, wrapping my arms around my knees. I hadn't realized how long I was walking, because I looked back and I couldn't see the tents anymore. I buried my face into my knees, thinking deeply about what my next move should be. Is it even worth the fight? I then pictured Lapis's cute smile whenever she giggles, how her beautiful blue eyes sparkled when she smiles, how she does this little one-eyebrow-raise whenever she's confused or concerned, her pretty little tattoo on her tan skin, that cute lazy look she always has on her face.... Hhhh yes it's worth the fight dammit.

I sighed loudly, slapping myself in the face, feeling flustered. What am I gonna do? Why am I so indecisive? "Peridot?" I immediately jumped when I heard a familiar voice speak behind me. I slowly turned my head, looking at none other than Lapis. I then turned back around, looking down stubbornly. Her footsteps came closer and before I knew it, she was crouching beside me. I didn't look up from the ground, feeling a lump in my throat.

"Hey um...are you really okay?" she asked in a soft voice, and I closed my eyes. ".... actually.... no...." I muttered, furrowing my eyebrows. "What's the matter?" she asked, tilting her head. "I...I'm just being over dramatic... " I said, looking to the side. "Would you just tell me? You've been acting weird throughout this whole trip." she explained in an irritated voice. I sighed again and groaned, debating on whether I should tell her or not. "It's my sister..." I mumbled. "What about her?" Lapis asked.

"I... ugh..." the words weren't coming out. "I'm insecure, okay?! I envy Squari! I am jealous of her, and how she just wins at everything. Sports, popularity, favors... love interests..." I said, tearing up again. "She's just better than me in general, and all she does is show off, impressing everyone and what did I get? Humiliated because I puked in front of a whole crowd while I was trying to beat Squari at something! I'm just not good enough..."

Lapis continued listening. "... and I know she does it on purpose, like it's her life goal just to be one step ahead of me. Back at home she was the kid who impressed the parents, and I got the shit end of the stick. Even Jasper wasn't nearly a disappointment because of his athletic abilities. But...I am a disappointment. I've never done anything that has failed to bore my mother and father. As soon as I find something that makes me happy...Squari makes it her mission to beat me to it." I hadn't realized that tears were now running down my face.

I quickly wiped them, feeling embarrassed for being such a baby about this. Lapis stared at me for a moment. "If it makes you feel any better... I think you're pretty great... b-better than Squari in my opinion..." she said, looking away from me. I felt a blush across my face, and felt my heart flutter a little. But then I realized something and felt my beam die again. "You're just saying that to make me feel better..." I said, looking down again.

"I'm nothing compared to my sister." I deadpanned. "Hey. Quit saying that. I mean what I say." Lapis said sternly. "But how could I be better Lapis?! Tell me! Because I honestly don't know one damn reason why I'm better than her! She tops everything!!" I raised my voice, feeling anger build inside me. "Why don't you believe me?" Lapis asked. "Because I have no right to! Everything that states I am better than Squari is a lie and complete gibberish!!" I shouted.

Lapis furrowed her eyebrows, staring back at me with deep eye contact. I squirmed under the contact, and suddenly felt bad. She continued giving me this glare that intimidated the hell out of me. My palms became sweaty, and I realized that she actually does mean what she said. Lapis thinks I'm better? Fuck I'm making it worse. What am I doinggg!!!! "I... I-I'm sorry... I didn't-" I flinched as I felt her two hands grab my face and quickly pull me forward.

Her eyebrows furrowed deeply and she shut her eyes tightly as her lips crashed into mine. A blush creeped across my face as her hands remained on either side of my face. I blinked a few times, trying to process what's happening, then I slowly kiss back, fluttering my eyes closed. I placed my hands on her arms, deepening the kiss. Holy shit this is happening oh my god this is happening holy fuck Lapis is kissing me. Lapis tilted her head, removing her hands from my face and wrapping her arms tightly around my neck.

I wrapped my arms around her and placed my hands on the small of her back, leaning forward and my face felt very hot. This kiss felt like it was long-needed, like we both were waiting for this for a very long time. I know I was. The kiss lasted about 8 more seconds before she pulled back and looked at me. She had a huge blush on her face, and her eyes we're sparkling. I almost guaranteed that I had stars in my eyes, and the temperature out here suddenly shot through the roof.

Her grip around my neck loosened, but she maintained eye contact. "S-sorry..." she muttered, shifting a little. "D-don't be..." I replied, still in shock about what just happened. Holy shit that just happened.