Sorry, I'm bad at this. (NSFW AND MATURE CONTENT WARNING) (Lapidot Human AU)

Chapter 29

"Y-you really think so?" Lapis asked timidly, and I finally gained the courage to look up at her. "I know so." I replied, smiling a bit. She bit her lip, and I could tell she was a little embarrassed. "Heh, w-well sorry for all of this, honest I was just tryna get my phone." I explained, scratching the back of my neck. "Oh, okay." she said quietly, chuckling. I got up and opened the door, looking back at Lapis one more time. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU SEXY FUCKING BLUEBERRY. "B-bye..." "Seeya Peri."

. . . .

"You killed your brother?!" Pearl asked loudly, raising an eyebrow in complete surprise. "SHHHH!!!" I hissed, holding a finger up to my lips and furrowing my eyebrows. "No! He was just knocked unconscious..." I corrected, taking my glasses off and closing my eyes. I placed them down on the table and began to gently rub my eyes. "How did you manage to do that?" Amethyst asked, giggling. "Why do you assume that I did it?!" I asked, opening my eyes to glare at her. "Then who did it?" she asked. I looked down, frowning and feeling my cheeks heat up. "U-ah-uhm th-that's not the point. It was a chair. It broke over his head and he was knocked out." I grumbled. 

"So Jasper just randomly hit his head on a chair?" Garnet asked, lowering her sunglasses. "Y-yes." I lied. "He walked into your room, yeeted his head on a chair and broke it, knocking himself unconscious?" Amethyst asked, holding her laugh. "Not exactly..." I muttered. "So you did do it." Pearl said. "N-no!!" I growled. "So Lapis did it?" Ame asked. "NO!!" I growled louder. "So Jasper lifted the chair up, and broke it over his head? Or he jumped into a somersault, knocking his forehea-" "YES I DID IT!!" I groaned loudly, clawing at my face. 

"You have some issues to work out." Pearl murmured, looking me in the face. "Not everyone is as perfect as you, Pearl." I grumbled, glaring back at her. "Intelligent and attractive can be the ideal image-" "But she is intelligent and attractive." I interrupted Garnet. "Nobody's perfect per se..." Amethyst said, clasping her hands together. "But I am perfect." Pearl stated. "GUYS WE ARE GETTING OFF TOPIC!!" I uttered in an annoyed tone, getting a pounding headache. "I need food." Amethyst deadpanned, staring at the front counter. "You just ate." I said. "Is Jasper still at your guys' dorm?" Pearl asked.

"No...we moved him back to his dorm." I replied. "Is that why you asked me for his dorm number?!" Amethyst suddenly asked, looking like she had just solved a mystery. "Yes..." I mumbled. "How did you guys even do that?" she asked. "Lots and lots...of struggling." I said in a low voice, looking down at my hands. "Man I can't imagine what it's like to move such a large body such a long distance..." Ame said, shaking her head. "You forced us to carry your deer carcass 5 miles away from campus just to bury her." Pearl said, glaring at Amethyst. "That was different." the short girl replied. Pearl scoffed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

"Hey don't get your lil' panties in a twist, P." Amethyst commented. "Oh, bite me." Pearl remarked, furrowing her eyebrows. "I did last night and I'll do it aga-" "OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!" I screeched, getting real tired of this conversation. "What're you gonna do now?" Pearl asked. "I don't knowww...I'm just afraid for when he wakes up. He might wanna kill me after what I pulled." I groaned, putting my head on the table. "Well, he didn't exactly see you throw the chair at him, so he has no right." Amethyst explained. "Who else could've done it? Lapis? Then he's gonna come back and try to kill her!" I replied.

"Just break another chair over his head." Garnet said. "That was the only chair I was able to lift." I said, lifting my head off the table. "A lamp then." Amethyst added. "It's Lapis's though..." I replied in a quiet tone. "I think she'd rather keep her life intact than her lamp." Pearl said. "What if it's an expensive lamp though..." Garnet said. "It's a lava lamp." I added. "Oooo one time I had a lava lamp and it exploded 'cause I left a shirt draped over it overnight." Amethyst explained. "See? They're dangerous. What if her lamp kills her before Jasper does?" Garnet inquired. "You right, you right." Ame replied, and I rolled my eyes.

"Guys, seriously. I don't know what to do. I'm praying he'll just have amnesia and forget everything." I said. "You're going to hell." Pearl muttered, sipping her coffee. "The concept of hell seems sexy." Amethyst added, looking at her empty cup. "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that." I said, feeling shivers down my spine. "Well on a happier note, how are you two doing?" Pearl asked. "Pretty well, actually. She seems to need more comfort and reassurance in her life than I imagined." I explained. "Well, do you think she's had any comfort or reassurance in the past?" Pearl asked, raising her eyebrow and tilting her head. "Based on the way Jasper treated her...probably not." I replied.

"But we don't know the whole story, Peri. What if blue messed with Jasper too?" Amethyst asked. "That is a possibility...but I'm not too sure that Lapis is ready to share that side of the story." I said, resting my chin in my hand. "So have you two love birds fucked yet?" she then asked. "Amethyst!" Pearl squawked. "WHAT?! IT'S A SIMPLE YES OR NO QUESTION!" Ame protested. "No! We've never even made out...p-plus I don't even know if she's into that stuff!" I said, feeling a blush creep onto my face.

"You'll never find out if you never try." Amethyst said, wiggling her eyebrows. "You know I'm not good at initiating things, Amethyst..." I murmured, running my finger along the table. "No-brainer." Ame muttered, chuckling. I groaned, looking away. "I have sex-ed tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it." I said, gritting my teeth. "Maybe your fetus mind will learn a thing or two." the short girl remarked, earning a scoff from me. "Just because I don't know all of your gay dirty slang and finger-tongue techniques, does not mean I have a fetus mind." I explained, squinting my eyes. "Yeah it does." Ame stated, smirking. "My IQ is probably higher than yours by a landslide." I boasted.

"My experience is higher than yours by a landslide." Amethyst shot back, causing me to frown. "Don't you have some more food to go order?" I asked smugly. "Yas bitch! I'll be back." she replied, standing up from her chair abruptly and charging to the counter. Maybe I should learn to be a little more dominant...more initiating. Would Lapis like that? Or would I be too bossy and ruin it?! I was always very shrunken bacl with Amethyst, but of course that relationship didn't get very far... so if I want to keep Lapis...I may have to step up my game. Once I was alone with Pearl and Garnet, Pearl gave me a small smile. "Don't worry too much about it, Peridot. I'm sure Lapis would be obliged if you just gave it a little push." she explained in an almost whispering voice. I thought about it, and just looked down, nodding slightly in response. "We'll see."