Sorry, I'm bad at this. (NSFW AND MATURE CONTENT WARNING) (Lapidot Human AU)

Chapter 73

I scrolled through my contacts, urgently searching for my mother's contact. I immediately stopped as soon as I spotted it, and I pursed my lips. I looked over my shoulder for a moment, then slowly turned back to my phone. Should I really stoop this low? Tattling to my mother about this? I thought deeply about this for a couple of minutes, and this idea started fading faster and faster. I groaned quietly as I turned off my phone and shoved it back into my pocket.

I removed my glasses and slowly rubbed my eyes for a few seconds. I blinked a couple of times as I looked around the hallway again. I need to handle this myself. If I tattled to my mother about this whole ordeal, I would basically be stooping down to my nasty sister's level. I couldn't do this. I couldn't be like her. I have to take care of this myself, I thought. I decided to just go to the coffee shop myself, and see them in person.

What if Jasper wasn't lying though? What if he really is there alone? But Lapis WORKS there. Ugh... I guess there's only one way to find out. I sighed and decided to run out to the parking lot, to my car. As I put the key into the ignition, I stared straight ahead for another moment in deep thought. Is this too far? Should I just trust my brother? I sat there in a terrible silence for a long time - I hadn't even been counting the minutes anymore.

Memories then made their way into my brain again, and I cringed. Graphic flashbacks of my nightmare about Lapis and Jasper kept taunting my mind. I violently shook my head, attempting to rid of the ill thoughts. I turned my car back off, and exited the vehicle. I couldn't take much more this torture...from myself mostly. I kept on torturing myself with my own thoughts, and it pained me to even close my eyes. Too many images. Too many scenarios. Too many memories.

As I began to walk back to the university entrance, a splitting headache came on. I grunted loudly, and pinched the bridge of my nose. My anger was boiling at this point, and I furrowed my eyebrows. The coffee shop is down the fucking street. I'm running, I thought. Wait, WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK, WHY ARE YOU GONNA RUN?! My internal conflict began hustling and bustling, yet I pushed it aside. I spun on my heel and began to speed up to a jog. Soon enough, my feet were extended way forward, and I was now sprinting.

I began to run down the block towards the plaza, not wasting a single breath. I hadn't realized I was already halfway to the shop until I already spotted it in the distance. A water droplet then splattered onto my glasses, slightly startling me. I quickly wiped it off with my sleeve, but did not stop running. I shook my head and grumbled, speeding up. More droplets began to shower me, but I ignored it all. Soon the sprinkle of rain turned into a light pour, but I didn't care.

My feet kept going, and it didn't even feel like my body belonged to me anymore. It had a mind of its own. I threw my hood up so the rain didn't completely drench my hair, though it was already pretty damp at this point. The sidewalk became more and more slick, causing me to become more cautious as I took each hurried step. I nearly slipped three times already, but I kept on going.

Jasper's POV:

"I am ignoring you as of now." Lapis deadpanned, pouring coffee into a man's cup. "You don't mean that." I replied, leaning back in my chair. "I am technically a customer. You haven't served me yet." I chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "I don't have to come to you, Jasper. You have to come up to the counter, you idiot." she explained, rolling her eyes. "Well I don't see you behind there." I nodded my head toward the front counter. She then whipped her head around to give me a nasty glare.

I sighed and shook my head slightly. "C'mon, Lapis. I just wanna help you. You can't keep everything bottled up." I said, sitting straight up now. "You're gonna get me fired." she hissed through gritted teeth. "No one is even watching you. You seem to be doing productively anyways." I assured. She only loudly huffed in response. "I meant what I said though, Lapis." I added. "I am fine, Jasper. If I just do not think about the issue anymore and DROP the subject, I will soon forget about it. It'll be an old memory and I can MOVE ON with my fucking life." she explained, rushing back and forth.

"What about Peridot? You love her so much! You can't just forget about her...why can't you just talk to her?" I asked. Lapis stood still for a moment, back facing me. Her head lowered, and her shoulders slumped. "I j-just...can't." she murmured. "You two are gonna be step sisters anyways! You'll have to talk to her at some point!" I added, throwing my hands in the air. "Don't bring that up." she commanded coldly. "But it's true. But...you could still change that..." I muttered.

She inhaled sharply, and she raised her head up a little again. "Don't you miss her?" I asked her.

Lapis's POV:

I did miss Peridot. God I missed her so much, and I had no idea what to do. I felt so confused and conflicted, and I had no idea what my next move was gonna be. I didn't want to have to answer Jasper's question...he and I both already knew the answer. I couldn't even bear to think of the heartbroken expression Peridot wore as I left the mansion. As I left her. It was too much to think about, and it would cause me to break down if I thought too hard on it.

I felt absolutely horrible. I had no idea how I was supposed to talk to Peridot again...after all of this. After the way I walked out on her. I wonder what she thinks of me now, I thought sadly. I looked over at Jasper, and approached his table again. "I'm not talking about this anymore." I uttered, placing my hands on the table. I blinked, before slowly looking up out the glass windows of the shop. It was gloomy outside, and rain was pouring down from the sky.

People with umbrellas walked across the streets, and cars with their windshield wipers pacing drove by. My stomach dropped, and my heart leaped up to my throat as I spotted a familiar figure standing in the rain. My chest stung, and my back ached as I accidentally made eye contact with the last person I ever wanted to right now - Peridot. Her hood was up, and she stood across the way in the rain, staring back at me.

She looked like she had been eyeing me before I even noticed her. I realized why her expression seemed so sour when I looked back over at Jasper right next to me. He gave me a confused, yet concerned expression as he tilted his head. I looked back at Peridot, and she was still staring at me...and it hurt. Her glare pierced through my soul, and I had never felt so shaken in a long time. She somehow looked heartbroken and furious at the same time.

I couldn't bear to look back at her anymore, so I shut my eyes, and dropped my head down. "Lapis? What's wrong?" Jasper suddenly asked. I side glanced him, feeling tears prick the corners of my eyes. "Did you see something? What happened?" he asked, looking out the window. I peeked back up, and noticed Peridot had already vanished. Was I just seeing things? Was that a hallucination?

I began to question my own sanity as I backed away from Jasper's table. I tangled my fingers into my hair, and deeply inhaled. I exhaled slowly as I kept my eyes shut tightly. Fuck. I'm seeing things now. "What did you see?!" he asked again, switching his gaze back and forth from me to the window.

"Nothing."