Sorry, I'm bad at this. (NSFW AND MATURE CONTENT WARNING) (Lapidot Human AU)

Chapter 48

"Lapis it's been a month and a half! You have to speak to Pearl at some point!" I said, throwing my hands in the air. Lapis only grunted in reply, continuing to sluggishly push the shopping cart. I followed closely behind her, eyeing her intensely, trying to spot any reaction whatsoever from her. "She doesn't deserve talk." she grumbled. I rolled my eyes and huffed, now walking alongside the cart.

"Stop being so stubborn for just a split second and give her another chance. Things have been hella awkward between us and my friends." I explained. "They only choose to make it awkward. All they have to do is just keep Pearl away from me. That's all I ask." she muttered, now scanning the aisle we were in. "Yes, what Pearl did was messed up, but you can't stay mad at her forever." I stated. "Yes I can." she deadpanned, staring at a particularly bright Christmas tree on display.

"Anyways, I didn't come here to talk about Pearl. We came here to Christmas shop." she claimed. "I may have agreed to this, but I honestly don't know what you're planning on getting. Do they even allow Christmas decorations in the dorms?" I asked. "There's no harm in a few lights or something, right?" she responded quietly, leaning against the cart.

I only hummed in response, crossing my arms. "I don't even celebrate Christmas half the time." I grumbled. "And why is that?" Lapis mindlessly asked, her eyes glued to the displayed decorations. "I don't even believe in God." I stated. "You don't have to be religious to get into the holiday spirit, you corn on the cob." she remarked. "I'd assume you'd have to be to an extent if you wanted to perform a tradition only religious people have." I replied.

"It's no ground rule. Satanists could celebrate it if they wanted to." Lapis replied, shrugging. I only grumbled in response, raising an eyebrow. "Let's get a tree." she suddenly said, and my shoulders tensed up. "A tree?! You're kidding me, right?" I jolted. "Nope. Let's get one." she flatly responded. "Lapis, how would we even get the tree past everyone?! Aqua could turn in any corner and catch us!" I protested. "So what if she does? What's she gonna do? Confiscate our tree? How will she even lift it?" the bluenette giggled. "That hunk of meat that always follows her around probably would." I muttered, but before I even finished my sentence, Lapis had already hoisted a box nearly the size of her up.

"Lapis why are you doing this?!" I asked in a cracky voice, watching in awe. She was about to drop the gigantic box into the cart, but I stood in front of her. She peeked her head around the side of the box, arching an eyebrow. "Lapis no." I scolded. "Lapis yes." she shot back, proceeding to push the box forward. I yelped, and moved out of the way as she dropped the box into the cart with a loud thump.

She looked extremely satisfied with herself, and I just sighed. "This'll be fun. Now, what color of lights do you wanna get?" she asked, turning back around toward the shelves once again. "Lapis, we're not rich." I grumbled. "We're not poor either. And I never asked you to chip in." she explained, placing her hands on her hips. I crossed my arms and huffed loudly. "Red and green? Or rainbow?" she asked, not even looking at me. I was silent for a moment, glaring at the back of Lapis' head. I then turned away slightly and pursed my lips. "Rainbow." I grumbled.

. . . . 

I slightly hid my face with my hand as I followed Lapis, who just shoved a huge Christmas tree box through the double doors of the university. Laz received stares from students walking by, but didn't seem to pay any mind to it.  I simply carried the bag of lights and such. "Lazuli, could you not like, make a scene?!" I hissed, after Lapis accidentally rammed the box into a corner.

"It's kinda hard not to with a 5 foot long box in your arms, hon." Lapis stated, continuing to walk down the hall. THUMP. "Oof sorry." Lapis grunted as she bumped into a random person. Once we arrived at our dorm, I opened the door for her carefully. Lapis then ever so slowly walked forward through the door, attempting to keep the box from hitting the doorframe. She fully entered the room, but I flinched as the top of the box hit the top of the doorframe. "Oops." she murmured, lowering herself a little to fit the box in.

I sighed, and closed the door behind us. She carefully set the box onto the floor on its side, and Pumpkin - who was previously sleeping on my bed - looked startled awake. I dropped the bag of lights onto the bed, and sat beside Pumpkin. I stroked her back for a moment, and she stared down at the particularly large box. "Alright, let's get this thing set up." she sighed, looking down at it.

"I'm assuming you're gonna need my assistance." I muttered. "Just a little bit." Lapis chuckled, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

. . . . 

"THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!! Four says it's supposed to connect to the other part that's tagged four, but it's not... ggrrghh!!" I growled, dropping the top piece of the tree. Lapis only snorted and giggled in response, sitting across from me. "Hey hey, calm down you little gremlin. We'll figure this out." she chuckled. She picked up the piece of the tree I dropped, and looked over at the other piece. "We should've just gotten a real damn tree. These fake trees are BS." I murmured in a grumpy tone.

"You didn't even want a tree in the first place." Lapis reminded me. "Yes, yes but I knew you weren't taking no for an answer anyways. We should've just chopped down a friggin tree while we were at it." I explained. "That would've been way harder to accomplish, Peridot." she said quietly, now seeming more focused. "I'm just gonna get these lights put up." I huffed, standing back up. "If Aqua gets us kicked out of college for putting up fucking Christmas decorations, I'm suing and leaving you." I stated, reaching my hand into the bag on the bed. "Can't wait." Lapis replied with a giggle.