Sorry, I'm bad at this. (NSFW AND MATURE CONTENT WARNING) (Lapidot Human AU)

Chapter 74

-One week later-

Peridot's POV:

Yes, my biggest fear had come true. I walked to that cursed coffee shop, and saw both Jasper and Lapis together on what was probably a date. She seemed to have spotted me, so I had to book it before she accused me of being some psychopath. I wouldn't call myself a psychopath...I'm just heartbroken. My chest aches every single time I think about her, and I always have to bite oh so painfully down on my tongue to prevent tears from escaping my eyes.

I have to take several deep breaths in order to not break down in the middle of my classes. On the walks back to my dorm is when I am on the verge of combustion. The second I close the door behind me in my room, I break down crying. I could no longer deny the fact that the old love between Lapis and my brother had sparked again. I don't think I had ever been so depressed in my life, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The idea of getting over Lapis was out of the question, because I already knew that would most likely take years. Distractions seemed to be the only thing that temporarily worked. But when it all came to me alone in my dorm room, I would be in the most pain. I would attempt to work on my robonoids, but my temper was a ticking time bomb. I made one small mistake, and I was throwing over my chair and crying once again.

My immediate response to this whole Lapis and Jasper issue was the decision to ultimately focus on my studies - but I couldn't even do that. It was too much for me to handle, and my emotions were all over the place. I had been thinking all week about confronting Jasper and Lapis, but I also had considered the horrible outcomes. Lapis could hate me, Jasper could hate me, they both could hate me, my outburst could get out, and several more people could hate me...I felt like a coward for not doing anything about this.

That is why I decided to confront Lapis and Jasper today. I had had enough of this excruciating bullshit.

Jasper's POV:

"Are you sure you wanna leave, Lapis?" I asked glumly, tilting my head. "Yes, Jasper. I have enough money to at least get back on my feet. I'm gonna get a small apartment." Lapis explained as she finished packing her bags. "Y-you know you could wait a little longer, right?" I suggested. "No, Jasper. I've stayed here long enough. But I appreciate the offer." she turned to me with the ghost of a smile present on her lips.

I subtly smiled back, nodding slowly. "Besides, I need to talk to Peridot at some point. I want closure between us and...maybe we could even get back together." the bluenette added, wrapping her arms around herself. She let out a small chuckle, but it sounded incredibly empty and fake. "I'm sure you two will work things out. I hope you two will work things out." I said, reaching out slowly to her. Lapis then slightly flinched, and I immediately pulled back.

I was a bit hurt that she still reacted this way to me, but I couldn't fully blame her. She then gave me a humiliated expression, and she scrunched up her eyebrows. "I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't m-mean to-" "Ah. It's fine." I cut her off as I held up a hand. "Um...thanks again for letting me stay here. You really didn't have to do this." she muttered shyly, scratching the back of her neck. "It's nothing, really." I responded simply. "I haven't seen your roommate lately."

Lapis giggled. "Ahhh yeah, he probably found a new place to stay for now. I'll let the poor guy back in once you leave." I chuckled. There was a sort of awkward silence between us for a minute, before a startling knock sounded on my door. It sounded harsh to say the least.

Peridot's POV:

I banged on Jasper's door with gritted teeth. My head was pounding with thoughts, and I furrowed my eyebrows. After a few seconds, the door slowly opened and there stood Jasper. He looked surprised to see me, and my stomach lurched as I spotted Lapis standing behind him. "Oh, Peridot! What're-" "Cut the crap. I know what you two are doing. And it's sick." I deadpanned. "Uh...what?" Jasper pretended to act confused, arching an eyebrow. "I KNOW WHAT YOU TWO ARE DOING! AND IT'S NOT FAIR!" I raised my voice, stomping my foot. "Wait wait wait, what's going on?" Lapis pushed Jasper aside.

"H-how could you do this? Go back to him?! What is going through your head, Lapis?!" I asked, gesturing to Jasper. Lapis looked away, looking a bit embarrassed. "Peridot, it's not wha-" "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE EXCUSES! You dumped me, and crawled back to JASPER! You do realize you two are in the same exact situation you and I were previously in?!" I shouted in her face.

"No! No no no, Peridot! You don't understand! We aren't dating!" Lapis argued. "Oh, of course. Is that why you're fucking staying with him in his DORM ROOM?! YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO BE HERE ANYMORE!" I growled. Lapis then looked around the hallway before shushing me harshly. "Peridot. I said. It's. Not. Like. That." she hissed through gritted teeth. My gaze switched over to Jasper, and he awkwardly looked at me.

"P-Peridot, I was tryna help her! She had nowhere to go! She was staying in a motel!" Jasper argued. "And that was her fault! She was the one who left!" I shot back. "Peridot, I had no intentions of luring Lapis back into a romantic relationship. I was simply helping her because of your guys' breakup!" he insisted nervously. "You don't fool me for a second, Jasper. You never have fooled me." I said, walking up to him.

"Peridot, he's telling the truth! We are not together! He didn't do anything wrong!" Lapis chimed in again. "Why do you always deny these things, when they are so fucking clear?! Do you two just think I'm a fucking idiot?!" I yelled, tangling my fingers into my hair. "He abused you! How could you get back together with this abuser?!" I asked her. "Peridot, I have changed! I've changed! Honest!" Jasper insisted, holding his hands up in defense.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD HER BACK IN THAT ALLEYWAY! WHEN YOU WERE BEGGING HER TO STAY WITH YOU?! Do you not remember that?!" I growled, before losing my temper completely and smacking him across the face. "Whoa whoa Peridot hey hey that was UNCALLED FOR!" Lapis raised her voice, pulling me away from him. Jasper rubbed his cheek as he huffed loudly. "No. NO!" I ripped away from her grip and took a step back.

"You don't get it. You just DON'T GET IT. YOU NEVER WILL! I have been so fucking miserable, Lapis. Because of you. Because of Jasper. And neither have you have even bothered to check up on me. Or how I am doing in all of this. I have been going through constant pain. I can't do it anymore. I CAN'T!" I ranted, feeling warm tears fill my eyes. "You haven't been the only one who's been miserable after our split up, Peridot!" Lapis argued angrily.

"I HAVE DEFINITELY BEEN THE MOST MISERABLE THOUGH, LAPIS!" I shouted louder, shoving her. "HEY! No more rough housing, Peridot!" Jasper finally raised his booming voice as he yanked me away by my wrist. I groaned loudly as it felt as if he bruised it. He stood in front of Lapis defensively, and I took another step back. I held my wrist softly, and felt the tears roll down my cheeks. My heart rate picked up, and my vision began to blur. "Jasper, w-wait..." Lapis murmured, trying to push him out of the way.

It looked as if he were protecting her from me. That is what crossed the line for me, and I was speechless. I couldn't put my frustration and pain into distinguishable words, so I only let out a squeak. I then whimpered loudly, feeling pathetic. I balled my fists tightly, and shut my eyes as well. I couldn't look at them anymore. I couldn't talk to them anymore. I couldn't think about them anymore. I exhaled harshly, and roughly wiped my eyes. "I don't need to deal with this." I let out a broken whisper, sniffling. I only spun on my heel, and speed walked back down the hall.

I sobbed louder the moment I entered my dorm room. I slammed the door with all of my strength, and my back slid down against it. I held my face in my hands, and all I could do was cry. I was terrified of the worst case scenario happening, and it in fact happened. I broke down in front of them, and ran away again. I didn't solve any problems. I only yelled at them, overreacted, and ran away back to the containment of my dorm room.

I felt like I could never face either of them again.