Keep Yourself Alive - Roger Taylor

30

"I think I've known for a while I just-" she started, but tears began to form in her eyes.

I rubbed her back soothingly, passing her the cup of tea I had made for her. She took a sip and continued venting to me.

"We'd been together since 1973, how have I not noticed? How was I so naive?" She asked, gulping the burning tea down.

"Come one babe, what you doing?" Roger shouted from in our room.

I cringed, not wanting to rub our relationship in her face.

"Roger, something's happened" I called back, but my voice cracked slightly from sadness.

He rushed in immediately, almost falling but he caught himself in the door frame.

"What? Is everything okay!?" He asked worriedly, and noticed Mary.

"Mary? What's wrong?" He asked, sitting down next to her and rubbing her arm comfortingly.

"It's Freddie, he's- well he's gay" She said, looking down at her hands.

"Oh- I- I'm so sorry Mary" He said awkwardly, only just finding the information out about his close friend now.

"It's not his fault though, that's the worst part, I can't be mad at him because he can't help it" she sighed.

"Well, you're staying here tonight, hun. We are back on tour next week so you can stay here as long as you need" Roger said seriously, nodding at me.

"That would be great, thank you so much. It really means a lot" She tried to force a smile on her broken features, but failed as she twiddled her thumbs.

"No need to thank us, don't worry about it. I know you would do the same for me" I soothed.

Roger widened my eyes at me as though I was insinuating that he was gay, but I sent him a scowl as if to say 'it was just an example'.

"I'm just going out, I'll be back soon" I nodded, grabbing my coat and pulling it on.

"Do you need dropping off?" Roger asked, a confused expression on his face.

"Nope, it's only around the corner" I said, leaving the flat and them two with extremely uncertain expressions.

——————————————

My fist pounded against the door to Freddie Mercury's house. I tapped my foot and crossed my arms as I waited. As soon as a very tired looking Mercury opened the door, I stormed in without a greeting.

"If you're here to make me feel bad about Mary-" he sighed, flopping down on the couch.

"That's exactly what I'm doing. You knew you were gay Freddie-"

"Bisexual" he corrected.

"Bisexual? Gay? It doesn't make a difference. I saw you Freddie, checking out truck drivers, kissing Paul in the barn!" I added, the memory popping into my mind.

His eyes widened and he shook his head.

"No, he kissed me-"

"Okay, He kisses you. You're not getting the picture Fred. You lead her on so much that she really thought for the last few months that you'd be here when she got back. You weren't even saying I love you at the end of the calls, or saying I miss you but she was still smitten for you. You let her feel like that. I can't think of anything worse" I said, almost being moved to tears to think of what she has endured.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I can't help being bisexual" he said, placing his head in his hands.

"There is nothing wrong with being bisexual, nothing. But you have to see what I mean, she has waited for you to come home, and you let her believe that you'd be the same Freddie as before when you returned" I sighed, sitting next to him.

"I don't know what to say" He huffed resting a head on my shoulder.

"You don't have to say anything- and I'm sorry for having a go, I really am. I just hate seeing Mary so upset" I sighed, resting my head on his and patting his thigh.

"Me too, that's why I kept it from her. I didn't know how to say it either, we loved each other so much" He said sadly.

"That's where you're wrong. You love each other, Fred. She's still the love of your life no matter what, you know that. Just because a romantic relationship ends doesn't mean you lose friendship, all of those memories you shared would be gone" I tried to desperately reassure him.

"I suppose so" he nodded.

"I have to go anyway, best friend duties" I stood, patting down the wonky shirt that I still hadn't fixed, and zipping my coat back up.

"Well thank you, you mean so much to me too you know, dear?" He said softly.

"I know, Fred" I sighed, opening my arms from him to hug me.

He is so scared and I can see why, this will no longer be the easy sailing life that we all pictured for the star. But I will do everything in my power to help it go as smoothly as possible, and that is a promise that I have to make to myself.

"I love you, darling" he hugged me.

"Love you too, Freddie" I embraced him back before making my way back to the flat.

I was utterly exhausted after all of this, and to think the worst thing that I thought would happen to me today was cutting my finger and ruining the breakfast.

Hell was I completely wrong.

I finally reached the door and sauntered in, noticing the two still sat drinking their cups of tea.

"You okay, Mary?" I asked as I hooked my coat back on the peg.

"Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better now. I might even go back and try and sort things out.  I just needed some time to think I guess" She said, standing up.

"Okay, we'll we're here if it doesn't go as planned, and I love you Mary" I hugged her tightly, before she took left the flat on a hurry.

"How is she so... fine?" I asked, extremely shocked.

"We just had a chat, I calmed her down and I told her Freddie's perspective. Well tried to, I didn't even know that myself" He shrugged, taking the last gulp of his tea.

"I did actually. Well I had suspicions. I saw Paul kissing him in the studio..." I said nervously.

"You what?" He said, nearly choking on the drink.

"Yeah.. I didn't see it all though, didn't want to make premature assumptions you see" I gave him a knowing look and he just nodded in agreement.

He patted the couch next to him and I flipped down exhaustedly. And to think next week we will be on the road again.

Definitely not prepared.