Keep Yourself Alive - Roger Taylor

48

The next few days were spent moping around and basically crying in bed alone. I had told Roger that he must go back to work to keep himself occupied, and he told me to make sure I did too. However, when he came home from the studio everyday to see me in the same position, his heart began to hurt more and more.

"Come on Rose, shall we go for a walk?" He asked calmly, moving me on to my back by my shoulder.

"But I haven't had a shower since Saturday" I whined.

"Well it's only Monday, so shove some of my extra strong men deodorant on and get ready love" He chuckled, and I tried to laugh with him but all that came out was an exasperated sigh.

I did as he ordered and changed into a baggy white sweatshirt with my flared jeans, and paired it with some white trainers.

I slumped out of the room as I pulled my hair into a messy bun, placing the baker hat on my head to cover the greasiness. Stress spots had appeared over my face, which were beginning to bug me, so the hat did a good job of hiding those too.

"You look as ravishing as ever" He joked, but still pulled me into a kiss before holding my hand.

This was my first time leaving the house since we found out about the baby, and as soon as the light hit my eyes I felt instantly refreshed.

I gripped his hand tighter as we walked around the area, stopping off at the park and taking a stroll over the grass.

"How are you, seriously now? Do you feel any better?" He asked me, squeezing my hand as he gazed at me.

"Yes, But I am still extremely upset. Even though the baby was only the size of a jellybean she was mine, and I wanted her to be mine forever. I'm sorry to say this roger but before she was even born she was the love of my life" I sighed, linking my arm in his to get closer to him.

"I have to agree with you there, no offence. It's been hard for me too, but I have to say getting out and doing stuff has really helped me. Come with me to the studio tomorrow?" He pleaded.

"Okay, But I might only stay for a short while" I warned, which he nodded to understandingly.

"That's fine I'll take you home whenever, beautiful" He said, kissing the side of my head.

"Thanks, I want to see Brian and John actually to say thanks for taking me to the hospital and stuff" I said with a melancholy nod.

"Yeah of course, haven't seen them myself yet. We could go now? We're already half way to Bri's" He suggested and I nodded in reply."

The walk there was rather pleasant actually, and it was nice to just clear my head in the fresh air for the first time in a few days. Seeing Brian and John was making me nervous, but only because they had seen me in my most vulnerable moment and I didn't want them to pity me for it.

We arrived and Roger knocked on the door. Within a few moments it opened slowly, and my grip on Rogers hand tightened significantly.

The frizzy haired guitarist greeted us with a smile. Not a sympathetic one. Just a smile. He's already making me feel better.

"Hiya guys, come on in. You want a cuppa?" He asked politely, motioning for us to come in.

"Yeah please Bri, two sugars for me" I thanked him, and he nodded in reply.

"Yeah same but no sugar" Roger added.

"How you both doing then?" Brian asked casually.

He was being so nice and calm about it which I was beyond happy about. Of course the subject was going to come up but at least he wasn't being extreme and forceful about it.

Roger looked at me, mentally asking if I wanted him to answer, but I shook my head and continued.

"I've been better obviously, but we will get better soon" I said, following him into the kitchen.

He gave me a nod and passed me my cup of tea.

"It will all fall back into place soon enough, does Freddie know?" He asked, taking a gulp of his piping hot tea.

"I don't suppose he does, you don't happen to have the address for where he is staying do you?" I asked.

"From what I heard he had bought a house over there, Miami should know" Roger replied.

"I still can't get over the fact that you changed that poor mans name to Miami" I laughed and even I was shocked. It was the first laugh I'd uttered in days.

Roger gave me a smile and nodded along. I could tell that he was becoming more happy seeing me smile, which shows that we were obviously healing faster than we thought.

"Is that Rose I hear!?" Chrissie shouted from upstairs.

"Hi Chrissie!" I shouted back up, and I heard the heavy thumping of the woman coming downstairs.

"Brian I can't believe you didn't tell me they were coming" The heavily pregnant woman scolded him as she practically waddled into the room.

"Oh wow, look how big you are now" I said in awe, looking at her beautiful bump.

"Yeah... but back to you, I haven't seen you in ages" she grinned, trying to change the subject.

"I know, we'll it feels like that anyway" I shook my head and hugged her.

As the bump pressed against my stomach I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy rush over my senses, but that had to be understood hopefully.

Brian coughed, trying to get his wife to back off me, as I think he could sense the sadness coursing through my veins.

A tear rolled down my eye, but it wasn't her at all, it was my fault for staring at her bump and getting all jealous.

"Goodness, I'm so silly" I wafted my hand to stop them from worrying.

"Rose it's not silly, it will take time to get over but that is nothing to be ashamed about. Emotions are emotions, you can't help them. If you could I wouldn't be such a moody bitch all the time would I Bri?" Chrissie joked, trying to make me feel better.

"Yeah I suppose you're right. Thank you all for your support guys, If has meant the world to me. I don't really have a very nice family, and having you lot makes up for that" I nodded, wiping the tear away and hugging Chrissie once more.

"Oh gosh don't get me going too! Come here, hun" Brian said and pulled me into his embrace.