Keep Yourself Alive - Roger Taylor

78

Stockholm

I stood there for what felt like a good hour, however in reality I'm pretty sure that a mere three minutes went past. Why was I being so pathetic? It's not like I've never been alone before is it? However, it's the first time I've been alone since I met the band, and I was pregnant, and I was about to give birth. Thinking about it only made it worse, so instead of standing there like an idiot, which I was getting a few strange looks for, I decided I'd make an attempt to get home.

Sadly, I slumped out of the airport and found my car in the sea of fords and the occasional mustang. Finding mine, I twiddled the key in the door and opened it slowly, jumping in and slamming it behind me.

My bottom lip began to quiver, as I sat in the empty car. However, I just pictured Roger telling me off and telling me to not let it get to me. I shook off the stupid tears and began my drive home. Turning on the radio was the worst decision I'd ever made though, as Queen immediately engulfed the whole car into a frenzy of guitar solos and drum beats, and of course the beautiful sound of Freddie Mercury.

"Mama, ooh" I sang along to the familiar tune.

Listening to them on the way home was strangely soothing, and was actually helping me to get over my sadness.

Eventually, my car rolled into the gated driveway. Unfortunately for me, it was usually Rogers job to hop out and open the gate but because I'm alone I had to get out and do it myself. My god I'm getting lazy.

My mood went from bad to worse, as I slumped down onto the couch. I leaned back and stared at my huge stomach, which rose and fell as I breathed.

"Just you and me for a while little 'n" I smiled, rubbing circles into the bump.

"You don't talk much do you?" I groaned, hoping someone would sense my boredom and cure it.

However, nobody did.

I spent the whole night, binge eating snacks and watching reruns on the television, that Roger and I had recorded on tapes and kept in the unit under TV set.

The silence was so loud, almost deafening in fact. It was giving me a headache, far worse than the ones I'd get from listening to Rogers constant drum practices.

As though reading my mind, the door to my house emitted three loud knocks around the house. Never had I been so excited, as I jumped up instantly and rushed towards the door.

When I opened it, the smiling faces of Veronica and Mary greeted me from the other side. I breathed in happiness and engulfed them both into a hug, pulling them into each of my arms excitedly.

"We only saw you last week, Rose" Mary manages to say, despite my death grip that wrapped around her lungs.

"We aren't intruding are we? I know we didn't call-" Veronica started, but to answer her question I dragged them both into my house.

"No! You've never shown up at a better time, it's so strange not having roger around for even half an hour... wait what about John, Veronica?" I asked, realising that she too was not on tour with the boys.

"I've got work 'ant I? Anyway I'm off out to Paris to meet them next week" She grinned, shimmying her shoulders when she said Paris and doing a little twirl.

"Wow- send my love will you?" I asked, sitting down next to them on the couch.

"Of course, but you know they will already know that?" She giggled, nudging me.

"So hows little Rog then?" Mary asked, looking down at my stomach.

"Good, he's moving about a bit now. I say he, that's what Rog and I think it will be" I shrugged.

"How exciting" She replied, getting up to make some tea.

"Bugger off Mary, I'll get that!" I scolded her, trying to push myself off the sofa that had seemed to engulf me into its cushions.

"Get lost you can hardly stand, look!" She wafted me off and I rolled my eyes in defeat.

"Thank you, lovely" I smiled, and she gave me a cheeky wink.

"How are you feeling, Rose?" Veronica stressed, placing her hand on my leg.

I sighed and shook my head.

"Overwhelmed? Stressed? Terrified? Alone?" I listed.

She gave me a sad look before I continued.

"I can't complain though, some people don't get the chances that I've been given even once in their lifetime, I just wish I wasn't 8 months pregnant when they decided to bugger off" I laughed.

"Well I'm here, and so is Mary" She grinned, giving me a comforting side hug.

When Mary got back with the teas we had a good catch up, which ended in us all laughing our absolute heads off all night.

Eventually though, it came to an end and the two lovely ladies had to leave unfortunately. Which meant that yet again, I was alone listening to the sound of my own breathing for entertainment.

I went upstairs and decided that I'd have a quick look at my photo album, which was a bad idea as I immediately started sniffling sadly at the Polaroid's I found.

They started from their first tour, and continued on to the others. I even had some from Liverpool when he proposed, and then from the wedding. When I reached the ones of Freddie and I messing around in the hotel room, my heart fluttered in melancholy. I so wish that I could have those days with them this time, although I mustn't complain as it is the first of many tours that I have missed.

Although, little did I know that there wouldn't be many more shows after this one.