my type ((yandere x reader))

LXXIX- falling to pieces

"How was school?" (Y/n) asked as Gianni entered.

He had to suck down any shame he felt about all the misery he'd caused and show (Y/n) a brave face.

"Same old, same old. I missed you." Gianni put his bag down. "What did you do today?"

"I did warn you that I'd be watching (f/m) back to back, right?" She raised one eyebrow.

"Oh god, you're addicted." Gianni sighed playfully.

"I'm only kidding, I actually started a diary. I wrote in some stuff about my dreams, they've been repeating a lot lately." (Y/n) clarified and shut the notebook she'd been writing in.

"Can I read it?" Gianni asked hopefully.

(Y/n) scoffed and shook her head. "No way. It's private."

He pouted jokingly which made (Y/n) laugh but he was serious about wanting to read it. Gianni just wanted to know what she was thinking.

"Can.... can we talk?" He asked nervously.

(Y/n) wished she could have said no, she knew that he was going to say something that would undoubtedly be upsetting for her and honestly she was trying to make do with what she had while she waited for an opportunity for escape.

"I...guess."

Why did she say that? She wanted to say no but arguably not talking about it would be even worse.

"Let's...um...let's sit down." Gianni gestured towards the couch and went to sit down. Both of them were so painfully awkward around each other.

He looked forward instead of facing (Y/n), she was going to be so disappointed in him.

"There was a memorial for you and Padgett today at school." He stated.

(Y/n) widened her eyes, she had almost forgotten that her friends and family thought her to be dead. "Oh."

"I spoke to Ronan-"

"Don't tell me what he said. Please, I don't want to hear any of this." (Y/n) cringed at the thought of her brother crying over her. The only time she'd seen him cry was with the whole breakup debacle with Padgett and she didn't want to think about it.

"I won't... I just feel like I need to tell you that recently I've been in my head about everything because... I spoke to your dad."

"You...what??" (Y/n) shot up from the couch. "What the fuck? When?"

"It was right after Padgett... um, y'know. He knows where we are... he knows you're alive, he knows I killed Padgett, he knows fucking everything." Gianni admitted, he wished that the floor would swallow him whole. He'd failed (Y/n), she still hadn't got justice for all the things her father did.

"Shit, what the hell are you gonna do now? Your shitty plan of protecting me from him is out the window, huh?" (Y/n) said angrily.

"He's not coming after us, at least I don't think he is. I didn't want to tell you at first becuase I knew you'd react... well, like this. I didn't want to worry you." Gianni stood up too and put his hands on (Y/n)'s shoulders to try and calm her.

"Well, I'm fucking worried, Gianni." She said with a quieter but equally harsh voice.

Gianni regretted telling her anything but he needed to get answers. "The only reason I brought this up is because he said you wouldn't ever love me... but... he's wrong... right?"

(Y/n) stared at him in disbelief. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that Gianni had spoken to Felix but her dad had really said that? No wonder Gianni was mulling over her feelings for him. "It doesn't matter, Felix is trying to get in your head."

"It does matter." Gianni's grip on her shoulders increased. "It matters a lot to me, forget that it came from Felix just tell me if you love me." He sounded so desperate that it physically hurt (Y/n) to listen to him.

She blinked at him a few times and there was a pause before she spoke up.

"I... don't want to talk about this. Please let me go and we can get started on dinner."

"It's a pretty easy question." Gianni showed her a smile that didn't reach his eyes, it grimly reminded her of the fake smiles Felix would give her.

"I a-already told you... I don't know." (Y/n) was beginning to grow scared, she didn't want Gianni to lash out again.

"That's not an answer! How can you not know if you love someone or not?? It's a very straight forward thing!" His volume raised and (Y/n) winced.

"It's so confusing-"

"Fine. If you're too confused to know if you love me then tell me if you think you love me." He would settle for an answer in any form at this pointc, Gianni just couldn't let Felix be right. She had to love him.

"Can you give me some time?" (Y/n) was on the brink of tears as she tried to ease him away from her but neither of them were going anywhere.

"Just fucking tell me!"

"I can't!"

Gianni let out a deep breath and tried to compose himself. Why did (Y/n) have to make things so needlessly difficult? "Just...just be honest with me, darling, I'm not going to get mad if you say no. All I want is for you to tell the truth."

(Y/n) was still hesitant to answer him. He'd hurt her in the past so she knew it wasn't beyond him to resort for violence, she honestly didn't know if she still loved him. She couldn't say that she did becuase that would introduce a whole set of problems and misunderstandings into their already fucked up relationship. She couldn't say that she didn't for fear that he'd do something, sure, he said she wouldn't be mad but (Y/n)'s trust in Gianni wasn't rock solid considering past actions of his.

"Just tell me...please, baby, do you love me?" His voice was shaky, Gianni didn't know what he'd do with a negative answer.

"I.." (Y/n) paused and bit her lip. "No. I don't."

Gianni's face went blank and unreadable. His grip loosened and (Y/n) took a large step back while he stared out into the middle distance.

"I'm going to my room." She anxiously stepped further away from him. "Will...will you get me for dinner?"

Gianni didn't reply audibly, he just nodded to her question.

"Are you alright...?" (Y/n) ventured, feeling guilty for how she'd answered his question.

Gianni suddenly became reanimated and the same fake smile returned to his face. "Yep, I'm great."

Dinner had been a silent affair that evening. Gianni had that conversation with (Y/n) so he could stop overthinking things but this just made him overthink things more.

He was laying on the couch in the middle of the night.

She didn't love him.

She was still unhappy.

And she'd probably never love him or be happy.

He couldn't fathom it. (Y/n) (L/n), the love of his life, didn't love him.

Gianni could no longer lie to himself and try to say that she was just mistaken. She had no real reason to love him.

No one would ever love him and he would be okay with that as long as (Y/n) did, but she didn't either and what did that leave him with?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

He massaged his head to try and think about this logically. They couldn't continue like this but he couldn't let her go.

There seemed to be no way out of the misery he'd plunged both of them into.