I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Fifty-Two

Van

"Hey love...wake up." I pressed my lips against Ellie's temple as the rain beat against the window outside. It was nearly eleven and as much as I wanted to spend my last day with Ellie, tangled up in sheets, there was one thing we still had to do.

She groaned against the muted light coming through the windows, last nights fourth and fifth bottle of wine seeming like a bad idea now. I smiled softly at her and pushed the thought of how much I was going to miss her out of my mind.

"How's your head?"

"It'll be alright." She yawned and rolled into her side so she was facing me, the sheet wrapped loosely around her body. I bit my tongue and tried not to focus on the fact that it would be quite easy to just give in and lose myself in her.

"You may want to take a few aspirin before we leave today."

She narrowed her eyes at me, squinting against the daylight. "Why?"

"It's a surprise."

"I really hate surprises, Van."

"This one you'll love." At least I hoped she would. Maybe she wouldn't. Maybe she'd hate the whole concept. Maybe she'd hate the thought of having everything out there in the world. Our story. Her history. My feelings.

"What are you planning, McCann?"

I shook my head and stood up. "Get up and get moving, and you'll see." I stepped out of the room to give her some privacy and made my way to the kitchen. Larry was seated at island, head in his hands. I rested my hands on his back, a groan escaping from him.

"You were a bloody mess last night, Lare. Crying on about us when we were lads."

"I know what I was crying about. Blakes sent me videos of it."

"Would you remember it if he hadn't?"

Larry rolled his neck like he was contemplating the thought. "I'm not really sure. Probably not."

The kitchen was silent for the first time in weeks. No dishes piled high on the counter or teacups stacked on the island. We were leaving tomorrow, and someone else would move in, and erase all the traces of us ever being here. But I'd hold this place closer than others. I'd lean into it a little more than I would the other places we'd stayed when we recorded albums, and all of that had to do with Ellie.

"Are you playing her the album then?" Larry's hoarse voice made me chuckle but I nodded anyway.

"Doesn't seem right for her not to be one of the first people to hear it when it's all about her."

Larry nodded and rubbed his temples. "What's gonna happen to the two of you?"

I shrugged, the impending promise of tomorrow creeping along the back of my mind and scraping its claws over it.

"Well according to you last night, she should just move into our place in Chester and take care of it while we're gone."

Larry squinted against the fluorescents in the kitchen. "I do remember that...and I stand by it."

I shook my head. "I don't know if she's ready for all that. Haven't even met her parents yet...doesn't seem right to just jump in like that."

"Does it seem right to be without her for long periods of time?"

I shook my head instantly and gnawed on my lip. "No."

"My point exactly. I think it's going to gut you a lot more than you realize...being away from her I mean."