I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Ninety-One

Van

"Well, what'd ya think of the interview?"

I was too keyed up from the response to Lockjaw so far, to do anything other than chain smoke fags and try to calm my nerves. The only other thing I could think to do, was to call El.

"It was great." I could hear the smile in her voice. "And the response...Van, people love it."

I smiled wide and took a long hit.

"I'd love it if you were here so we could celebrate together."

She shushed me and laughed. "It's only been a day, and you're already missing me?"

"Always missing you, love. Missed you since the moment you drove away."

It was the truth. Saying goodbye to Ellie never got easier, and this time around, she was the strong one. She was the one telling me it'd be fine, we'd be fine. She was reassuring me, and it usually wasn't like that. The whole goodbye between us, had left a deeply carved hole inside of me, and I didn't know what to do with all that.

"Tell me about London. What are you doing tonight?"

"We've got an acoustic set in a few hours, then dinner with the label. Probably have a couple of drinks after."

"Be ready for the fans. I've seen a lot of pictures on Instagram, they know you're still in London."

"Thanks for the heads up. It's been mental every time we try to leave the hotel. Things like that make me miss the states. It's easy to hide there."

"They love you though. Try to remember that."

She was right. I nodded as if she could see me.

"What about you love? What are you doing tonight?"

She sighed, hesitating for a moment before beginning. "Nothing tonight, but Slim messaged me, asked if I could meet him this week for a drink. Would you...would you mind?"

I swallowed my instant reaction slowly; the white heat of jealousy spiking my blood pressure. I closed my eyes for a second, took a breath and sighed. "Thank you for telling me, and no...I don't mind, El. I know he's your friend."

I could almost hear the relief in her exhale. "You're sure?"

"I am."

"Thank you."

I took another hit and leveled myself out. "So...looks like two and half more weeks to go."

"I was trying to distract you by talking about something else."

"Nah, love I don't want any distractions. I'm fully aware that I miss you, the quicker I can see you the better."

"Maybe we should start face-timing."

I paused. "Naked?"

"You're mental. Not with the boys around at least."

"But when they're not around..."

"I'll make an exception."

"I'll remember you said that."

My phone buzzed and I held it away from my ear and glanced at the message from Bondy. "You ready?"

I let out a long sigh. "Alright love, gotta get ready to head out. I'll phone you before bed."

"If time gets away from you, don't beat yourself up."

"I love you."

———————

The acoustic set finished around seven and we had just enough time to make it to dinner with the label and not be late. I hated dinner meetings, but forced myself to smile through them and look interested. They were pleased with the response to the single, and the stats from streaming platforms, so their attitudes with us were cheerful. I saw through it though, even if they thought I didn't.