I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Sixty

Van

Everything was too still.

The night crept in and swallowed up the day, and the majority of the day was spent on the phone with Steve, or with local authorities, or Bondy. I hadn't had two minutes alone with Ellie to even ask her how she was, but Larry seemed to be keeping her company.

I glanced out the door of the hotel bedroom at her, she was pressed into the couch, fingernails trapped in her mouth. Her gaze locked on mine and sucked my world from view. If I didn't have Steve on the other end for the second time today, I would have closed the space between us and lost the rest of the evening with her.

But Steve's voice trilled against my eardrum and I winced as I looked away from her.

"You gonna hang up on me again, Ryan?"

"If you keep calling me that, and yell like earlier, then yes."

"You fucked up. I mean really fucked this up." Steve sounded winded.

I bit my lip and looked down at the floor. A twinge of guilt washed over me, but it didn't linger. I'd learned a long time ago that guilt wasn't worth dwelling on. 

"Do you have any idea what the label is going to do when they find out you ran off to America for some girl?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sucked in a deep breath. "First off, Steve, she's not just some girl. And I think by now you need to respect that." My eyes flashed to her again as I stood and moved from the bed to the large window looking down at the city.

"She's coming back with me, whether that's in the cards for the label or not. I'm not leaving her here...alone. She can stay with my parents if you're going to get all bothered about it. And Bob...he gets to bring Allie where he wants, too. I'm not going to argue this topic."

Steve hissed into the phone. "You know this is beyond me."

"Then find a way to get it handled. We're done being at the mercy of the label. My girlfriend almost died a couple months back, Steve. Remember that? The guy that almost killed her, was here, in her apartment. Took her phone while she slept. If you can't wrap your head around the severity of this..."

"I get it! For Christ's sake, I get it. But it still doesn't mean you just run off to America in the middle of a newly signed contract. You've got priorities to consider, Ry...Van."

"You're right. I do." I looked at Ellie again, she was smiling softly at something Larry was telling her, and for the first time since we brought her to our hotel room, she looked relaxed. "Those priorities...they've shifted."

"You don't want to be in a band anymore?"

"I didn't say that, Steve. I didn't even let onto that. You've had us for two years. Nonstop tours, festivals, The Balance, we did it all. We never stopped. Give us a break. Give me a break or I'm going to exhaust myself and not in a good way. We'll always have the band. Always. That doesn't end, but I want her and I to never end either, so you can see where this is going to get complicated."

"I told you weeks ago not to make me choose, because I'd choose her. And I will. So we need to find a way for everyone to be alright with the fact that my girlfriend will be tagging along to places, and when she's not with me, she's with my parents. I'm not losing her. I'm not arguing the topic either. That's how it's going to be."