I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Eighteen

Van

I was on the verge of sleep when I heard a banging on the door of the bus. Steve made it to the door first, likely expecting to see fans, but the sun wasn't all the way up yet, and the darkness of the dawn still cast shadows into edges in the city. It was a little early for fans. Especially in America.

There was a shuffle and a loud yell I recognized instantly.

"Is she in here?"

I pulled myself from my bunk, wiping my eyes in the process, and was met with Barns, instantly butting his chest into mine. I arched my back out of habit, the way my fifteen year old self taught me, and pushed my weight forward on my feet to hold my stance. Barns paused and looked around me.

"Is who here, Barns?" My voice was leather, aged and slick.

"Ellie. I woke up an hour ago and she wasn't in her bed. She doesn't have her phone, and she's not anywhere on the bus."

"And you thought she'd be here?" I raised my eyebrows and look around.

"Don't fuck around with me on this right now McCann, is she here or not?"

I bit into my lip. "No. Maybe yous should go check with the hotel."

Barns didn't say another word as he stormed off the bus and pushed himself through the glass doors of the hotel. Larry stuck his head out of his bunk first. "What is going on in here, mate. It's not even six."

I sighed. "Barns can't find, Ellie."

When I spoke the words, I recognized the feeling of fear settling around me. He couldn't find his girlfriend. He couldn't find, Ellie.

"Is she okay, mate?"

"I don't know, he can't find her. How's would I know if she's okay or not if no one knows where she is?"

Barns appeared outside of the hotel again, turning right out the gate, and storming down the street. He didn't have a shirt under his leather jacket, and he looked like he just rolled out of bed. I didn't think as I grabbed my jacket from my bunk and pulled my arms through it. I stepped off the bus and yelled his name. It sounded foreign on my tongue, cursed even. He stopped walking and glared at me.

"What'd they say?"

He raked both of his hands through his curls. "Someone saw her out here smoking around three thirty, am then they said she walked off."

I held my hands up to him in surrender. "Why would she leave?" I hung onto the hope that maybe she just had enough of his shit. Maybe she went home. She would have taken her things though, she wouldn't have left them.

"I don't know, man! She was upset last night when she came in. All pissed off, wouldn't talk. I don't know what the fuck was wrong."

Guilt ran me over. I knew. She knew Red was directed at her, and it was proper cheeky of me. I chewed on my tongue.

"Has she ever done anything like this before?"

Barns paced the sidewalk nervously. "Yes."

"And where did she go?"

He shook his head. "She got fucked up. That's what she does. She gets fucked up."

There were so many things I wanted to say to Barns Courtney in that moment. So many words I could toss at him that would cut him into a million pieces and likely only end in a fight. I kept them to myself because now wasn't the time for this.

"Let me help you find her. The city's huge, you can't do it on your own."

Barns nodded at me and pointed up the street. You go that way, I'll go this way. If you find her just bring her back here."