I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Eighty-Three

Ellie

I stepped away from the door as Van's parents left, and turned around to find him still hunched over the kitchen counter, with his head in his hands. He'd been off ever since he'd found out about Slim, and I swallowed roughly.

I tried to keep the attitude between us light through the remainder of his parent's stay, but his eyes stayed on me until he caught me looking, and then he glanced to the floor, or the wall, refusing to lock eyes with me. He was uncomfortable, and it likely had to do with the fact that I kept this from him. My mouth went dry as I stepped toward him, hesitating between saying something to him, or going about my business for the evening. But he spoke up first. He decided to break the silence.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was wounded. He was hurt. I felt my fingers twitch.

"About Slim? I wanted to...I just didn't think it was that big of a deal."

He smirked and turned to look at me then, eyes rimmed with worry and something else. Something I couldn't put my finger on.

"Not a big deal? Ellie...the last time you saw him was the night Barns tried to...." his voice trailed off and so did his train of thought. "Has he even talked to you since now?"

I shrugged. "He didn't have my new number."

"But before that? Did he ever reach out once?"

We both knew the answer.

"What was I supposed to do, Van? Just ignore him when I saw him?"

He shook his head. "You could have told me."

"When?" And as much as I didn't want to pull the card out that brought Van to his knees, it was my only defense. "When could I have told you? Via text message that would only make you worry or dwell on the subject?"

His eyes grew wide and his shoulders slumped as he relaxed. His palms stretched against the surface of the countertop and he drew in a long breath. "It would've been better than not telling me. Not telling me...it makes it..."

"Makes it what?"

He shook his head. "It makes it look like you're keeping things from me."

I felt the air leave my lungs. "I'm not keeping anything from you, Van. It's Slim. I've known him a lot of years, and he happened to be passing through. What is the problem?"

"But you didn't tell me."

I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry if you feel like I'm keeping things from you. I'm not. I didn't know how you would feel about it through a text message."

"You coulda told me last night. When we were being all honest with each other. Why wasn't that the perfect time?"

I blushed, instantly feeling guilt wash through me. He was right. I could have told him. And I didn't. I sighed.

"I was with him yesterday, too. That's who I was with in town."

Van blinked twice and stood up a little straighter. "He stayed?"

I shook my head. "Said he had some free time and wondered if I wanted to have a drink."

Van paled and swallowed hard. I couldn't read his expression, couldn't gauge where his thoughts were.

"What...what do you guys talk about?"

"We've talked about you. About us."

He bit into his bottom lip, waiting for more.