I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Sixty-One

Van

I'd lost a few hours, nodded off at one point, and woke up to find myself snaked around Ellie, the blankets kicked to the edge of the bed. I looked around the room, the clock indicating it was early morning, dawn still an hour or more off. I couldn't shake the feeling of the words Steve spoke to me yesterday. I needed to sort things out and figure out what made the most sense. I'd never fall back asleep with all these thoughts in my mind. I kissed Ellie's forehead and reached for the sheets, wrapping her in them softly before pulling on my jeans, grabbing my phone and disappearing into the living area.

Larry was sprawled over the couch; the lad could sleep anywhere and it made me insanely jealous. I knew him well enough to know he could sleep through a plane crash, but I still moved slowly as I made my way to the small kitchenette and poured myself a glass of water. Times like now made me wish I could keep my thoughts silent and stay in bed, wrapped up with what mattered most in the world.

I sifted through the mild conversation Ellie and I had before she dozed off in my arms, eyes moving quickly behind her lids. She was nearly asleep when we started talking, becoming incoherent as the minutes drug on.

"Tell me what you were like when you were little." She was already yawning, eyes closed, and breathing heavily against my chest. She was near sleep, but i wasn't ready to say goodnight. I craved every moment I could get with her: The sheets were wrapped around us loosely as she rested her head deeper into me.

"A mix of quiet and loud."

I laughed. "That's all you're going to give me to go on?"

She nodded slowly. "I went through a bit of a rebellious period. That was when I was loud."

I smiled softly at her confession, remembering the morning I found her all defiant in the bar. "You have a sister, right?"

She nodded. "And my mom and stepdad."

"What about your real dad, El?"

She grew a little rigid at the mention of him and I tightened my grip around her. "He died when I was fourteen."

I gripped her tighter and raised my head off the pillow, lips finding her forehead. "I'm sorry I brought it up, love."

She raised her head off my chest, hair falling all around her as she shifted to her side and rested her head in her hand, elbow leaning on my pillow.

"It's okay. He wasn't the best man in the world. My mom deserved better than what she got with him. James, my stepdad, saved her. Saved us all, really." She frowned at a hidden memory, and I knew better than to pry. I smiled at her softly and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"You're tired."

She nodded and rested her head on the pillow next to me. I rolled to my side and wrapped myself around her, kissing the hollow of her neck softly. "I'm sorry I keep forcing you to stay awake."

"S'alright." She mumbled softly, smiling as her eyes closed. "Tell me about when you were little."

"It was just me and my parents. Me mum wasn't supposed to have kids, tried and tried, and on their last go round with in vitro, they got me. After I was born, we did everything together always. Didn't want to miss out on anything."

"What was your house like?"

I smiled at the memory. "They ran a B and B in a beachfront town. Always people in and out. Chaos most of the time. But it was cozy, quaint. All one really needs. Small, but a refuge."