I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Twenty-Three

Van

The silence outside was heightened by the sounds coming from inside the bar. Ellie waited for my response, stared at me like a hawk, the alcohol giving her an edge of bravery. It stoned me for a moment. Why couldn't she be brave like this all the time? Why couldn't she be brave like this with him?

"I told ya I would when yous were sober."

"I'm more sober than I was last week. Besides, I've been sober since then and you haven't said a word to me."

"Conversation goes both ways, love."

She frowned. "I saw him talking with you."

"And it's nothing to bat an eye at. He thanked me for finding you last week, said you were a pistol. Didn't know you've been together as long as you have...also didn't know about the car accident you two were in."

She paled, frozen in place nearly dropping her fag. Her face twisted into grief, longing even. "He told you about that?" Her words were iced over, frigid.

I nodded stepping toward her, reaching her arm and tugging on it. "Hey...Ellie, breathe."

She closed her eyes and did just that, sucked in a long breath and dropped her fag to the ground. "What else did he say about it?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. Nothing at all. Just said his head was fucked up from it."

"He didn't...he didn't mention anything else?"

"Not a word. Why? What happened?"

Ellie shook her head. "Nevermind. It's....just nevermind."

She leaned into the building, sinking down to the ground with her back still on the wall. I knelt beside her slowly. "This isn't how you want to spend your night. Try to enjoy this, El." I pointed at the atmosphere around us. "If I tell you the truth now it's just going to make you more sad. I'm tired of seeing you this way. We need to have fun. Come on."

I tugged at her hand gently, helping her to her feet. She was a bit shorter than me, but her eyes latched onto my own as she steadied herself in my hands. We stood there for a moment, just looking at each other, not saying a sound, barely breathing.

I spoke first after clearing my throat. "Just go with it, okay?"

She nodded once and followed me inside the bar. I let go of her hand the minute we were inside, not that Barns would have noticed anyway. He was
crowded around the jukebox singing, Bondy and Blakes standing on the side, laughing and smirking at him. People surrounded him then, some of them fans, some of them just there because everyone else was. Ellie followed me to the bar, and I ordered us each a beer. "And a shot of Jack." She called out to the bartender before locking eyes back on me. "One for each of us."

I blinked and laughed at her then. "I don't know if that's a good plan, Ellie-"

"Just go with it." She smirked as the bartender slid over two shots. She didn't hesitate as she brought the small glass to her lips and downed it. I mimicked her actions and tried not to let the afterburn scorch my face the way it did my throat.

I chased the feeling away with a swig of beer and turned to face Barns.

"He's proper putting on a performance."

"Everywhere we go." She sounded annoyed.

"Is he like this always?"

She shrugged and reached for her beer, she was all
Nervous hands, still trembling like she had been outside. "He used to be calmer, quieter even. He had a head full of ideas that he couldn't get out fast enough, but he was different. Less intense. That's the person I fell for. Sometimes he's still like that."