I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Forty-Six

*PG13ish content ahead. Maybe more, but prob not, because I'm immature. Cheers*

Van

I wasn't ready to go back to the flat. The night was still early and I was in no mood to be surrounded by the lids right now. I was covered in the heavy thoughts that blanketed me regarding El, and I couldn't fake any other emotion.

Ellie stopped at the car but I kept walking.

"We're not driving anywhere?"

I shook my head. "Not yet, love. I want to show you something. It's not far." And it wasn't. A two minute walk, if that. She stepped lightly toward me, and reached for my hand when she was close enough. I smiled at the way it fit in mine almost too perfectly.

We walked quietly down the cobblestone streets, a light chill filling the air around us. Neither of us spoke as the night encircled us, and I could sense the curiosity on Ellie's face.

We paused outside of a brick building with no windows. Ellie frowned at me as I fumbled with the keys in my hand.

"What are you doing? Where are we?"

The lock clicked as I stepped inside and disabled the alarm like I'd done a hundred other times since being in Scotland. I reached for the light switch on the wall and the interior of the studio immediately lit up, showcasing the small seating area that separated the door from the desk. Ellie stepped around me, lips parted, and scanned the room, eyeballing the gold records and pictures on the wall.

I closed the door behind me and locked it, keeping my eyes on her as she ran her fingers against the frames of the pictures on the wall, sucking in a breath when she moved from one to the other.

She paused at the berth of the hallway and turned to face me.

"Can we?"

I nodded, my grin spreading across my face. She stepped down the hall, pausing outside of the windows looking into the different recording booths. Her fingers danced along the glass as she made her way further down the corridor.

"This is where you recorded."

"Yes."

"Which room?"

"Four." I pointed at the last room on the right, conveniently located next to the back exit where I took all my fag breaks. She paused outside of the room and stared through the glass. I caught up to her and smiled. The room was empty, looking dim and haunted at this hour. I'd never seen it without someone in it. Even when it was just me staying late to record vocals, Jack was always here. It felt different being in here without him.

"Want to go in?"

Ellie turned to me excitedly. "We're allowed?"

"We can do whatever we want, love." I opened the door and held it for her as she ducked inside on a smile. Her eyes traveled from the sound and mixing boards, to the booth inside of the room that still held our guitars, bass, and Bob's drum kit. The microphone in the center hung over a black stool, a low light illuminating the room.

"So this was where you did it all?"

I nodded, moving to the couch in the back where Larry would sleep or we'd take a break to get high and eat. She ran her fingers over the mixing controls and pointed at the tapes on the reel.

"It's not digital?"

I shrugged. "The other booths offer digital, but we wanted this album to be different. We wanted it to be genuine, the way things used to be in this industry. I wanted it to have the raw, grungy sound that The Balcony did."