I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Seventy-Seven

Van

I was proper pissed.

I'd drank myself into the deepest corners of oblivion with Bondy after the radio interview, and I had no intention of leaving anytime soon.

Manchester was a terrible place for me to be doing this in. I knew better. We both did. People paid too much attention to our moves here, both fans and otherwise. The label would have us by the throats if anything we did was caught on camera. But that didn't seem to stop either of us. We ordered more pints, and eventually, turned to shots of whiskey.

The whiskey went down too easily, so we ordered more. At some point, I forgot what drove us to drinking in the first place. I liked being numb too much. It was my vice. I liked the way it leveled me out, and the way it kept reality far from my grasp. This is why I didn't trust myself fully. I relied too much on substances in the past to keep me level. I hadn't needed anything like this since Ellie had become more than a friend. I hadn't needed to unwind in something and let it rule me to feel numb. With Ellie, I didn't want to be numb. I wanted to remember every moment.

But Ellie wasn't here, and the only thing I could do to feel normal, was drink. So I did. Deeply.

"We shoulda said something to Blakes, Bobby and Larry." I said as I reached for my glass, trying to rid my head of thoughts that I was too nervous to walk around right now.

"I sent messages to them all, never did check to see what they said back." Bondy dug in his pocket for his phone while I sipped my beer and looked around the pub. People were watching us. Paying attention to us. A group of younger girls waved, clasping their phones and drinks tightly, all smokey eyed and made up. I nodded back at them, keeping my responses friendly but minimal. I watched them turn to each other and giggle.

"We've been spotted." I said as I threw back another long gulp, straight down the hatch.

"Piss. They say we shouldn't be out. Larry asked where we were."

I waved my hand at him. "Aye...fuck the lot of them, then."

"Whose spotted us?" Bondy looked up quickly and glanced around the bar. It was nearly full, only a few chairs empty here and there.

"Younger looking fans. I'm assuming they're fans at least. They've got their phones out and all that."

"Looks like we're going to be approached, too."

"What?" I turned as the group of them walked toward where Bondy and I were sitting. Three of them casually walked up liked they knew us and leaned on our table easily. They wasted no time making themselves comfortable.

"Can we help you?" Bondy said kindly.

"We just wondered if we could buy you two a round of whatever you're drinking. We're massive fans, we are."

Bondy smiled at them and nodded toward me. "We were just sayin' we needed to be getting out of here, but thank you ladies." Bondy was careful when it came to fans. We used to say yes without hesitation, but the older we got, the more we realized that we wouldn't be young forever. Things don't mean the same when you age. You look at life through a different lens.

"Oh please!" The blonde one spoke up. "You're our favorite band! It's the least we can do!"

I shrugged to Bondy figuring it's been a while since we'd interacted with any fans. Maybe we owed it to them. "I guess one more wont kill us." They smiled with delight as the blonde one nodded toward the bartender and he filled up two more pints. I felt the threat of a headache looming already.

"What are you're names?" Bondy spoke kindly to them, and as much as I tried to pay attention, I'd already forgotten what the first two said. They asked for a picture and we obliged, and then they started with the the videos and the questions.