I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Ninety-Three

Van

I walked into the hotel lobby dead on my feet.

I hadn't slept a wink. Instead, I scoured the city like a boy looking for a lost pet. I smoked the rest of my pack of fags, and when the streetlights traded their dim glow for the morning sky, I knew I was beyond fucked.

What was I doing?

I'd spent the entire evening chasing Barns through London. And what was I going to do if I found him? Confront him? Have a casual conversation about why he was here? I knew what I had seen downtown. I couldn't shake his menacing smile from my memory. It was the same smile I'd seen him wear with Ellie draped over his arms on tour. The same smile he wore the night he almost killed her. I knew what I saw, but that didn't mean I knew how to handle it.

The lobby was still quiet, only a few bodies standing around. I wiped my face with my hands, and decided a shower and some caffeine might wake me up enough to get me through the interview.

I groaned at the thought of promoting the single on no sleep. Where I had been cheery yesterday while we discussed it, today I'd be the opposite. Maybe Bondy could do all the talking.

I frowned at the thought of his name. I frowned at the thought of all of them. If they had lived through what Ellie and I had, maybe they'd understand. I rubbed the back of my neck as I took the lift to my floor. I caught my reflection in the doors. Deep purple bags formed under my eyes and my hair needed washed from being whipped around in the city's air all night. The doors opened and I was met with Steve's nervous gaze, although it relaxed the moment he saw me.

"Jesus, Van where the hell have you been?"

He pulled me from the lift and I tripped over my feet sloppily.

"Easy." I said as I freed myself from his grip. I heard footsteps approaching as Larry rounded the corner at the mention of my name, I watched his shoulders relax when he saw me.

"What's the rush? What happened?" My thoughts immediately rushed to Ellie.

"What happened?" Larry asked on a rushed exhale. "What happened is you disappeared and no one's been able to find you and you have an interview at noon."

"It's not even eight yet, mate."

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Walking! What's the problem? None of yous cared what I did last night, what's with the sudden infatuation with me?"

"Don't flatter yourself." Larry said bluntly.

"Track record, McCann." Steve spoke from beside me as the lift doors pinged closed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means in the past, anything that's sent you over the edge, especially with Barns, has led you straight outta town, running for Ellie."

I clicked my tongue and rolled it to the side of my cheek, chewing on what to say next. "I see where you're going with this. You thought I skipped town and went to her?"

Steve nodded.

"Wouldn't be the first time." Larry mumbled under his breath.

I broadened my shoulders and rubbed my hands together like I was trying to warm them up. "You got something to say, Lau? Might as well speak up if you do."

"This is bollocks. This whole thing."

"What is?" I clenched my teeth together fiercely knowing where he was likely going with this one.