I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Van

She was there.

On the other side of the door, caught somewhere in between reality and disbelief. Her eyes were heavy, puffy bags threatened the ivory tone of her skin with clear intent. I didn't expect her to be the one on the other side of the door, looking this normal.

I expected him. Barns.

I expected shouting. I expected chaos. I expected another fight.

That's what I planned for, knuckles still balled into heavy fists, but it wasn't what I saw looking back at me. Ellie leaned into herself, curling at the sight of me, breath hitching in her throat. For a small second I wondered if Barns' words to me were true. Maybe she did want him back. Maybe I'd walked into something I shouldn't have. I let that thought latch onto me like an illness, and I hesitated between grabbing her and pulling her into a hug, or turning to walk away.

But Larry was there too, and Larry wasn't going to let me leave. At least not without her.

"Hello, Ellie." Larry spoke first, his voice filled with trepidation. He was a mirror, reflecting every emotion within me at that moment. Neither of us really had a plan. We could have called the police, but I'd insisted we check in on her first. I needed to see this in person. I told Larry it was because I didn't want to spook Barns. He'd run if he heard the sirens, and there was no telling what he would do in the meantime. We needed him to be caught. We needed this all to go away. But a small part of me needed to make sure his words weren't true.

What can I say? Doubt never really leaves me. It was like a disease.

Ellie's eyes moved quickly to Larry, running up and down before returning to me. She stepped forward nervously, voice cracking as she choked out my name.

And that was all it took.

One, hopeful little movement in my direction was all my doubt needed to shatter into a million pieces at my feet. I reached for her quickly, stepping forward just as she tripped over her feet and fell into me. I felt the threat of a sob clamber it's way up my throat, so I buried my face into the crook of her neck, as my arms snaked around her frame. It'd only been a handful of days since we'd been apart from each other. Just a hair under a week. I wondered what months would do to us. I wondered how I could go without this.

I squeezed her harder, as Barns' words bit into the silence of the room. A reminder of why I was here.
I stood up a littler taller as I pushed her gently backwards, releasing her from my embrace, only to let my eyes drift over her like they did that first time I saw her in the hospital. She looked...okay. She looked unharmed.

"Van....what's going on? What's wrong?" Her words were softer than I remembered. I looked around her and stepped forward slowly, my fingers inching behind me as I twitched them instinctively, begging for her to latch onto them. She obliged, and stepped into me slowly, holding my palm at her side. Larry stepped around us both and ducked inside of her apartment. My gaze caught hers and we both froze. It felt so natural to be near her like this. It felt like home.

"What's happening? What....how did you get here?" She looked as if her head was spinning, like she couldn't find a plane to stand on.

"Ellie...he called me." My voice sounded foreign and hundreds of miles away.

She narrowed her eyes again and looked over her shoulder at Larry.

"Van, who? What's going on?"

I raked my fingers of my free hand anxiously through my hair. "Barns. He called me from your phone last night."

She didn't say anything. She didn't have to say anything. She leaned against the doorframe for support as the color faded from her face and she dropped my hand. I rested my hands on her shoulders, weighing her down slightly.