I Just Wanted to be Edgy Too

Chapter Sixty-Four

Van

"Please tell me you're calling me from the Manchester airport, looking for a ride."

There was caution wrapped in Steve's tone. This was the first we'd spoken in days. He didn't want to scare me off again, he knew better. My track record wasn't clean. I was notorious for things like this, for blowing myself out of the water with my reactions. We both knew it. I knew I needed to get better.

I adjusted the phone against my ear as I hid my eyes behind dark rimmed sunglasses and peered over by shoulder at the people rushing by me. I wasn't worried about being recognized here, not like the way I was always recognized back home. Back there, I couldn't step into a pub for a pint without a security guard. But after a while, you get so used to being recognized, that you habitually try to remain hidden even when you don't need to be.

"I'm not in Manchester, but I will be by this evening."

Steve breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God."

"Listen, I know yous went out of your way to cover for me, and I'll make it up to you someday, I will. For now though, hear me out."

Silence.

"I'm bringing Ellie back with us. I know she can't come with us for things, but I'm takin' her to me Mum and Dad's for a while until I can figure out somet a bit more permanent."

"Permanent." Steve chewed on the word like it was a food he'd never tasted before.

"Yeah."

"As in...you finding a place, for both of you?"

"Yes." I felt the air leave my lungs at the realization of my confession.

"Alright. So, she won't be with you on the media junket?"

I wanted her to be, but that wasn't fair to either of us. "No."

"And what about when the tour starts this summer?"

I sighed. I wanted her with me for all of it. Town to town, state to state, but I knew that wouldn't happen. Not yet at least. "That's why I want to find us a place. She can stay there. I'd love it if she was with me, but you'd have to let Bob bring Allie, too. I know that's not possible, and I'm okay with that. But that's why I want some place where I know she's safe. Some place I can be when I'm not on the road."

There was a rustle of sound from the other end. "I can see about getting them both on the road with you both for a few weeks here and there, but I can't get them there for all of it. I'll see what I can do, but it probably won't be longer than a couple weeks."

"That's better than not at all."

"You'll have two weeks before you're really going to be needed. That should be enough time to sort things out for the two of you. You have a couple little interviews in between now and then, one in a couple of days, nothing major."

"I'll be there for those."

"I'm counting on you."

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I looked over at Larry and Ellie, stretched out on top of airport waiting chairs. They looked exhausted, probably thanks to this early flight, but I still smiled at the ease of friendship that seemed to flow between them.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Steve stuttered.

"For the way I am. For the quick leaps of faith I take, all or nothing really. I don't always think...I just go, and when it comes to Ellie, I dove right in. I know I'm too intense, too much for some people. And I know there's been times I've made your life Hell. I'm trying to fix all that Steve, but there's one thing I know I want more than the life I'm living."