Tony: You're screwed.
Steve: Uhm, why?
Tony: You've gotta pretend that you don't have kids with Nat. It's a dare by somedayparis.
Steve: I'm screwed.
Tony: *nods in agreement*
*later*
Steve: *reading a book*
James: *runs into the room while holding his drawing* Daddy! Look what I drew!
Steve: *ignores him*
James: *furrows his eyebrows and taps Steve's knee* Daddy?
Steve: *swats James's hand away*
James: Daddy!
Steve: *flips through the next page of his book*
James: Why are you ignoring me?
Steve: *continues to ignore James*
James: *pouts and continues tapping Steve's knee while trying not to cry*
Steve: *silently whispers to himself* I really hope he doesn't tell his mother-
James: I'm telling mommy! *rushes out of the room*
Steve: *takes a deep breath* Shit...
Natasha: *walks into the room while carrying James*
James: *crying onto the crook of Natasha's neck*
Natasha: Steve, what did you do?
Steve: *looks up from his book* What do you mean, Nat?
Natasha: James said you're being mean to him.
Steve: *raises an eyebrow* Bucky? I haven't seen him all day.
Natasha: *furrows her eyebrows* No, I meant Jamie.
Steve: Who's Jamie?
James: *sniffles* See, mommy? He's been ignoring me.
Natasha: Steve, that's enough.
Steve: I didn't do anything!
Natasha: If you aren't, then why is James very upset about you?
Steve: I didn't do anything to Bucky!
Natasha: That's because I'm not talking about Bucky! I'm talking about our son James!
Steve: *gives her a confused look* Son? What son? We don't have a son.
James: *whimpers and cries*
Natasha: *rubs James's back soothingly* Shhh, it's okay, James.
Steve: *looks around* Do you hear someone cryi -
Natasha: *slaps Steve* I told you to stop it.
Steve: Oww... *rubs his cheek*
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Ask or Dare Steve Rogers
RandomAsk or dare the one and only Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America, anything! Tony: Thanks for bribing him for me, Red and Jamester! Natasha: It was my pleasure. James: *giggles and high-fives Tony* ______________________________________________________...