Tony: Hey, someone sent me a letter for you by mistake.
Steve: What does it say?
Tony: *reads the paper* MuffinLover3000 was the one who sent it and it says 'I dare you to jump off the roof, pull your parachute at the last minute, and fake your death. Also, attend your own funeral'.
Steve: Fine, then I'm gonna need you to be in on this.
Tony: Of course! This'll be fun!
*later*
Wanda: *rushes to the lab* What the hell happened?!
Pepper: I was watching over Morgan play in the backyard when suddenly, Steve fell from the rooftop with his parachute opened up on the last minute, which was already too late as Tony had said.
Tony: *puts on a fake look of remorse on his face* He - this idiot had no pulse by the time we rushed up to him, along with a crap-ton of broken bones everywhere. He didn't survive the fall.
Sam: *sobbing in the corner*
Bucky: *also crying* WHY?!
Wanda: *very distraught* Are you telling me that Steve is dead?!
Pepper: *nods*
Tony: *pulls back the sheets covering Steve on the makeshift bed*
Steve: *pretending very hard to be dead*
Tony: We need to give him a funeral.
Sam: Now?
Tony: *shrugs* The sooner, the better.
Bucky: *sighs* Okay, fine.
*later*
Natasha: *walks into the backyard, where everyone is gathered and dressed in black* Uhm, what's up?
James: *runs up to her with red and puffy eyes* Mommy!
Natasha: *picks James up* What is it, darling? Why is my baby boy crying?
Sam: *bawling his eyes out* Steve is dead!
Bucky: *sniffles*
Natasha: *eyes widen* What do you mean dead?
Tony: Basically, your idiot of a husband just jumped off the roof.
Natasha: Are you telling me that I just got back from a twelve-hour mission and I come home to you guys attending my newly deceased husband's funeral already, who was very much alive several hours earlier?
Tony: Basically... ye -
Steve: *walks out of the building and stands beside Natasha* So, what did I miss at my funeral?
Natasha and James: *stare at him*
Tony:
Pepper:
Wanda:
Sam:
Bucky:
Wanda: *very confused* I - wait, what?
Bucky: *wastes no time in picking up a nearby shovel and chasing Steve*
Steve: WOAH, BUCKY! PUT THAT DOWN! I CAN EXPLAIN! *runs away quickly*
Bucky: *yells curses at him*
Sam: *grabs a nearby rake and starts chasing Steve as well*
Steve: GUYS, I CAN EXPLAIN! JUST PUT THOSE DOWN!
James: *singing and giggling* There's a zombie on the lawn! We don't want zombies on the lawn.
Wanda, Pepper, and Natasha: *staring in confusion at Steve*
Bucky: I WILL BURY YOU ALIVE, DO YOU HEAR ME?!
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Ask or Dare Steve Rogers
RandomAsk or dare the one and only Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America, anything! Tony: Thanks for bribing him for me, Red and Jamester! Natasha: It was my pleasure. James: *giggles and high-fives Tony* ______________________________________________________...
