PINK RIBBONS

3

laying in bed as her thoughts haunted flow couldn't even study. staring up at the cieling she knew soon she would start showing. soon everyone would probably catch on to the fact that she was pregnant. most notably her dad.

it was becoming harder and harder to hide the fact from him. she didn't know how much longer her stomach flu excuse would hold up or how long she could go about throwing up.

looking over at a picture of her and her father that was on her table she became so nauseous at the fact that she had disappointed him. all he had ever asked her to do was graduate from college and make something of her self. all he ever wanted for her was the best. he bent over backwards to give her all that she needed. he gave her the opportunity to make something of herself and all she did was throw it away.

feeling the tears welt up in her eyes, flow was about to cry again but didn't want to. as all she had been doing now a days was crying. she was so emotional that it wasn't even funny.

turning on her side as she didn't want to lay on her stomach flow couldn't help but think that cameron was right once again. abortion was the only option. she couldn't take care of a baby on her own. and she was sure her father wouldn't help her for all she knew he would probably kick her out when he found out and she would have no place to go.

placing her hand on her stomach she sighed making up her mind she had to do it. she had to do it.

"you ready ?" cameron asked flow as they sat outside the clinic. staying silent flow didn't answer him as she couldn't. looking as people walked in and out of the clinic flow just watched knowing they were going to do the same thing she had done or had finished doing it.

watching the look on a few of the faces that walked out of the clinic flow saw a complacent look on their faces. they seemed as if they had made the greatest decision of their life as some were even smiling, laughing like they had just done something great.

turning to cameron , tears welting up in her eyes she nodded her head as she had to do it. if she wanted a chance a good a life she had to give up this baby because she couldn't care for it and she was not about to stand up in any welfare line. she wasn't about to struggle with this child like her mother had struggled with her.

stepping out of his car flow grabbed the envelope from off the dash slamming his car door. walking towards the building she stuck her hands inside of her pockets heading inside the building.

reaching for the door she was stopped by cameron holding it open for her. looking up at him flow wondered why he was there. she thought he had just came there to drop her off.

"you gon' go in ?" he asked her holding the door. turning away from him flow headed inside just wanting to get it over with.

looking around the clinic flow stared at all the women who were there. they all seemed content with knowing that they were giving up their baby. watching as they flipped through magazines and talking on thier cellphones she couldn't help but feel stupid for feeling iffy with the decision she was about to make.

turning to her left she looked at cameron who was reading a sports magazine with not a care in the world. feeling her heart sink she wondered why he never asked if she didn't want to give up the baby, why didn't he ask if she was having second thoughts. why was he not having second thoughts

rolling her eyes at that thought flow did not expect him to have any. after all, why would he ? he had a secure future. he was going straight to the nba probably after college or have a career somewhere. he had things he was going to achieved and a baby for him would be the worse thing possible right now.

turning towards the door when she heard her name being called flow's heart dipped into her stomach. becoming self conscious immediately as all eyes turned towards her in silence flow walked over to the nurse quickly ashamed with herself.

jumping at the loud thud the door made as it closed behind her and the nurse flow walked in stride with the nurse as she went over what they were going to do. taking the smock from her when she handed it to her flow headed into the make shift room.

sitting on the bed once she had changed into the robe flow played with her hands as tears fell from her eyes. ignoring them she didn't want to wipe them as that would be an admission that she felt sorrowful. that she didn't want to what she was doing.

looking around the room it felt so.. so empty

turning towards the door when a doctor came flow knew it was time. laying back down on the bed like they directed her to her heart felt as if it was about burst out of her chest.

hearing the snapping of latext glove against the doctor's skin flow closed her eyes trying to go to a relaxed place. repeating to herself over and over that she was doing the right thing. reminding herself of all the things that she would have to give up if she had the child.

opening her eyes when she heard a cry from the room next to her flow jumped up. "what was that ?" she asked. "nothing, nothing" he reassured her smiling.

laying back down flow tried to go back to that place. that place of relaxation. closing her eyes once again her legs shivered at the touch of the nurse's cold hands touching her own.

"now this is going to be nice and easy. we'll have you out of here in a jiff" the doctor told her smiling. looking up at him flow wondered how he could be so calm. then again he had done a million and one abortions he could probably do it with his eyes close.

"now flow are you sure you want to do this ?" the nurse then asked her out of no where as she prepared. looking at the nurse flow raised her brows wondering if she was even allowed to ask that. "huh ?" flow questioned.

"i said are you sure you want to do this ?" the nurse repeated needing flows consent. nodding her head flow couldn't say anything. smiling at the flow the nurse went for a cup with some pills.

"now your going to take these and it is going to stop it from developing. we'll need you to come back in two days so we can finish the procedure" the nurse told her.

"two days ?" flow asked. "yes" the nurse answered her. "once you take these it will stop developing and we'll perform a assisted miscarriage" the nurse told her.

extending the cup to flow the nurse put a smile on her lips. reaching for the cup with shaking hands flow took it from her. giving flow a cup of water the nurse stood by as did the doctor.

looking to and from them flow wanted them to tell her not to do it. she wanted them to beg her not to. talk some sense into her.

hearing nothing flow just held it in her hands. beginning to cry flow pressed the water up to her lips. opening her mouth she thought of all the things she would miss out on. she thought of all the opportunities she had. she thought about how her life would be ruined if she didn't. she thought about herself