PINK RIBBONS

72

  "you ready to talk ?" cameron questioned flow after she had finish crying her eyes out.

"yeah" she answered sighing. 

"flow do you really forgive me for cheating on you ?" cameron then questioned looking at her figuring more or less he needed to find the root of the problem.

falling silent for a second flow had to stop herself from giving him a false answer.

"i did forgive you i really did cam'. but then when she claimed she was pregnant and i asked you about it and you gave me the answer you did it was like a blow.and even then i was kind of like okay ya' know i was trying to convince myself that she wasn't. but then as time progressed and just all these things kept happening i just started to really believe it is yours. and then i just really started to realize that this kid would be a physical reminder of the fact that you cheated on me. and i really don't want to be bitter but it is like how can't i ? your going to be taking care of this kid and as much as i don't want to blame the child i just can't see myself accepting it especially with me being pregnant. and i feel so wrong for thinking that, but cam' i know it is true. i am not going to like that kid" flow told him tears welling in her eyes as she thought of how cruel that must of sound

"flow we don't know if it is mines" cameron told her not really knowing to what to say.

"but you say that there is a possibility that it could be"

"yes i did. but that is because i am being honest with you flow. i can't lie to you because if this thing comes out and it is mines then it is going to create a sea of problems and i know that that may be the last straw for you. and i don't want to lose you flow. so i rather be honest with you and try to work things through. than lie to you and hurt you and myself in the long run."

"i just wish you didn't cheat or rather cheat with her" flow told him "like what made you go and stray with her in the first place ?" flow asked him

"you want me to be honest ?" cameron questioned

throwing him a side eye flow made it known that she expected nothing less.

"she was just around me all the time. and when we started going through our problems and shit she just was right there to talk to and truth is i just crumbled under the pressure. but really it was more like a friend with benefit type shit with her. to me it was nothing serious cause' i never once thought about leaving you for her. but for her i guess it was cause' i found out way late she was telling everybody and they fucking mother about the shit." cameron hunched his shoulders "you wanna know something ?" he questioned flow

"what ?" flow asked

"that day when i had my bags packed up i really came here to tell you the truth. tell you i cheated on you. i figured there was only two options either you would forgive me or tell me to leave. but then when i went out to mamita to grab something to eat and saw you with that juwajee dude laughing and carrying on like i got so fucking mad flow. and i guess my guilt started to feed into me and so i started to buy into everything everyone was telling me about you and him. and i figure shit if i was out there doing it why couldn't you be ? and since i had already told you to stop going out with him and you was there, i figured hell it must of been the truth. so i lost it. but when you burst my bubble about drew i didn't know what to do. that night i felt like my whole world slid from underneath me. i knew i fucked up, but it was like there was nothing i could do."

"so you went and pursued a relationship with her ?"

"only because i figured i made my fucking bed so i should have laid in it. besides you made it clear you ain't want shit to do with me. so i was just really like fuck it at that point. whatever happens happens. but i didn't anticipate all of this shit that has happened to happen. but i am trying to deal with it flow the best way i can." cameron spoke turning to her so she could see how serious he was

"i apologize for cheating on you flow. but really in order for us to move on you have to forgive me. i ain't saying forget cause' ain't no way you can forget that shit i violated our trust that is my bad. but if we're going to work you gotta have some faith in me flow."

"as for everything else you were saying. your not going to be underneath me for the rest of your life or raising kids. i just want you to take off just for a lil bit because i don't want you to have a miscarriage or anything like that. i don't want you to be sick i don't want anything to be wrong with you that is all i was looking at. i am not trying to make you into one of those plastic bitches my friends are married to. i am not trying to be a dictator or anything like that. i am just trying to make everything easy for you."

"as for haven't graduated and living in a box. well shit i ain't graduate neither. i am twenty two and on my second kid. so we in the same boat. but i can't dwell on that. i have to handle my responsibilities regardless of the fact that i am scared" he told flow

"your scared ?" flow asked him

"yeah like shit" cameron answered " i thought when we found out it was the greatest news ever. to be expecting another with you knowing how much i wanted it, how much i already love arie. but the realization that this is another baby someone else i am responsible for started to sink in. and knowing how rough it was with arie for us makes this situation scary, because i am not going to be there like i use to. it is going to be all on you for the most part until i am able to take a break and come back. and then with this baby i got to make sure that i am on my game financially because i can't afford to fuck up the cash having to already take care of all my other responsibilities. and i got to make sure i am on top of my game because with basketball your career isn't promised" he told flow

"i had no idea you felt this way"

"that is because you didn't ask how i felt about it"

"that is because i just assumed with the way you were acting everything was fine with you. your always making situations seem like there is a light at the end of the tunnel"

"that is because i believe that shit could always be worse as to where you worry about every little thing. like you allow your mind to wander and it is always to a bad a place. like you never see the good in situations"

"that is because i am a realist"

"well you need to be an imaginist if that is a word and stop thinking shit is always bad. like your the only one going through things. and you need to be open with your feelings instead of bottling them up and blowing like you do."

"i can't help it. i am not good with emotions"

"i can see that" cameron nodded his head.

shoving his shoulder flow rolled her eyes as cameron laughed.

"but yo' in all seriousness i am here for you. i am in your corner. it don't always got to be you against the world. like you can lean on me , when your not strong. and i will be there flow to help you carry on" cameron spoke then bursting out in full song

"you are so dumb" flow laughed

"there is that laugh i love" cameron told her pulling her to him "promise me something flow" he then spoke

"what ?" flow asked

"that you will start telling me things. coming to me"

"i will cam' . i will work on it" she told him wrapping her arms around his neck

"okay." he nodded his head "you know what flow ?" he then questioned

"what ?" she asked leaning closer to him to go give him a kiss

"i don't want you to worry about a thing. cause' every little thing is going to be alright, singing don't worry about a thing cause' every little thing i-"

"oh gosh please don't start butchering bob marely" flow begged of him getting up off his lap

"come back here mon' " he told flow "let me sing to you mon" he laughed pulling her to him.

"just kiss me already" she begged of him. leaning down towards her cameron placed his lips against her own grabbing a handful of her ass.

pulling away from him when he begun to rock with her flow couldn't stop laughing.

"is this love , is this love, is this love that i am feeling ?" he questioned her.

shaking her head at him flow just pressed her head against his chest and begun to dance with him to his off key singing feeling so much better