PINK RIBBONS

why

"why are you doing this ?" cameron asked flow out of no where. 

"why am i doing what ?" flow asked him 

"what your doing. why are you here doing my laundry, cooking for me and all of that ?" he questioned

"is there a problem ?" flow asked him 

"no. i just ..i just need to know why your being so nice to me.especially with what is going on between us" 

"what is going on between us ?" flow asked him picking up the dinner plates from off of the table. 

"you know flow." cameron answered her " the break up and all of that. the fact that you resent me for some things" cameron told her feeling like it was time for him to face the situation head on and stop dancing around it. stop pretending like everything between them was great. 

"i don't believe i resent you cameron." 

"you don't ?" he asked her 

"nope." 

"then if you don't resent me flow why is it that you did not want to listen to me when i was trying to offer you an explanation as to what was really going on . why did you automatically assume that i was out doing no good if you didn't ?" he asked her 

"because you gave me every reason to. you begun to lie to me about your -" 

"i begun to lie when you didn't want to hear anything more of it. the first night flow i came home and told you that i was going to be going to the hospital to see the baby you caught an attitude with me for that whole week" cameron reminded her. 

"i didn't catch an attitude with you" 

"you didn't ? i guess i voluntarily slept in the guest room that week right ?" cameron questioned sarcastically. 

"that is because you felt the need to come strolling in your house at inappropriate hours" flow told him "besides things didn't start going down hill until you started becoming distant.acting secretive with the matter of her. like you never came once and told me how she was doing or said anything in reference to her" 

"because you said from day one you would resent her. that you couldn't see yourself accepting her into our home flow and i knew that feeling became stronger cause' when carmine and camden was born you didn't even want me to leave" 

"and i am suppose to feel wrong for that ?" she asked him " for not wanting you to leave me in the middle of the night with three kids, two newborns who woke up every hour on the hour ?" flow asked him 

falling silent at her question cameron knew not what to say to that. but flow sure did 

"what grieved me the most is that you were leaving three for one. like whatever could have gone on between us cameron and i could have been okay with that. i could have dealt with the distance between you and i, because it was me and you. but when arie started to notice your absence and when you started to neglect them-" 

"don't come at me with that" cameron shook his head having to disagree with her. "you know better than to say i neglect my fucking kids" he cursed as it angered him. "now i may not have been there every minute of the day and missed a few tea parties, but don't say i neglected them because through whatever i called to check up on them. and if arie had needed me to be there in an instance i would have been right there. and you know that" he told flow knowing she must of. "choose any fucking thing to call me out, but don't say that shit to me flow. don't tell me i was neglecting my kids" he cursed 

"now if your going to choose to call me out on something say it was the fact that i didn't tell you what was up with isabella.i shouldn't have kept it from you but i did. and that is my bad, however i did it because i felt as if it was the right thing do and at the request of her mother because we knew it was going to come to this point.also that i couldn't come looking for you to console me not when she was a product of the reason as to why we had problems in our relationship." he told her 

"that is why i never once came and said anything to you about her. and even though a part of me knew that you would probably understand a bigger part of me felt that all of this shit was karma. as a result i felt guilty. and because of the guilt i felt i overcompensated my time thinking that maybe it would fix things but as a result i sacrificed my relationship with you and for that i apologize"

"i didn't mean to let things get as bad as they did,but flow i was just going through some shit. and even though i should have communicated with you better i didn't and i take full responsibility for all that was done on my behalf. i apologize for hurting you" he told her as it was the only thing he could do "now i know i may never be able to fix things between you and i, but just know that everything i did was coming from a good place" cameron told her "that i was just trying to be there for everybody but i just couldn't be superman. not like you" he spoke getting up to his feet and walking out the kitchen