Broken and Fearless // C.B.

Chapter 96

[Triggering chapter. These are some of my favorite chapters to write, when I can delve deep into Juliet's mind.]

Juliet's POV:

Slut.

How dare you marry him.

Go kill yourself you sad emo bitch.

Ever since Colby announced our marriage, the hate had gotten worse. Of course there were fans that didn't like me with Colby, and I got that. But some fans took it to the next level.

Colby didn't know about the DMs I was getting. I just sort of bottled the hate and put on a good face for the house and no one seemed to notice.

I mean, I suppose Sam did find it a little weird that I didn't want to record his welcome to the Trap House video, but part of it was I wasn't in a recording mood.

More messages flooded in.

I bet ur not even a virgin.

You dont cuss, yet treat the boys like shit. Thats just stupid. Ur a hypocrite. Go back to where you came from.

People from Boston should stay there.

I rolled my eyes. Some comments were just ridiculous.

Ever since your mom died, you've become one of my least favorite youtubers. Everyone loses their parents. So just grow up and move past it. Save us all the trouble of sad Juliet. We're all sick of it and it needs to stop.

The old feelings I'd felt back in Boston nearly three years ago started creeping through my mind.

I looked down at the faint white lines on my wrists. I'd promised both myself and others around I wouldn't try ending it all.

But I wasn't sure I could keep that promise.

Colby walked into our room and smiled. "Hey, Jules. You okay?"

I nodded. "I'm fine."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

He sighed. "Okay, you don't want to talk. I get that. I know you'll talk when you're ready. I was just gonna film a video if you want to join me and the roommates."

"No thank you."

"Are you sure? Maybe filming will help."

My lips pursed. "I'm not in the mood to record! Why don't you understand that?!"

Colby nodded sharply. "Fine. We're going to talk later, because you're not acting like yourself and you're scaring me. I'll record my video and let you calm down, then we're going to talk."

Ha.

"Yeah. Okay."

He kissed my temple. "I love you."

Once he left the room, I grabbed the journal I'd started.

The bad thoughts are back. The really, really bad ones.

I want it all to be over, but I know I have a lot to live for.

What should I do? WHAT SHOULD I DO?!

I slammed the journal shut, not in the mood to express my thoughts. It rarely helped anyway.

Colby's POV:

I finished my video and ran to check on Jules. I didn't know what it was, whether it was her attitude or her demeanor, but there was something that was seriously concerning me. And after last time, I wasn't going to let her deal with it alone.