It Will End In A Kiss

Choices

(BLU)

"Why do I have to choose?" I asked AnneMarie. "There is no choice to make AnneMarie. I'm here. I'm your bestfriend."

"And I love you as my bestfriend, Blu." AnneMarie held out her hand again. "You and I, always?"

This time, I hesitated in taking her hand. I swallowed hard before I made the decision to take it. "Always." I said while looking in her eyes. "So I don't have to choose..."

"You do. I cannot abide Robin's presence near you. He wants you, Blu. He...said things about you that I find disturbing. He is manipulative and forceful. He intimidates people. I know he does that to you. Robin is a bully,"

"He is," I nodded. "He was. But Robin is a great guy..."

"He is not," AnneMarie pulled her hand from me. "He told me that you two are kissing. Like regularly. I don't believe it. I think he corners you while you are living with them and forces himself on you. You are in danger as long as you are close to Robin."

Shit! Shit!

"So you lied about liking him. Why?"

"To make you jealous," AnneMarie sighed. "I was willing to wait it out, Blu. I was okay with waiting for you to find the courage to take our relationship to the next level. I thought it will happen when we get to college. You said before, if we never found anyone to love us, we can be together. Well, I sure am not looking for someone to love me. I already have that someone. It's you..."

"Then you should have told me about your feelings," I said.

"I can't. I need you to realize that you love me the same way too. I know it will happen. I just have to wait. You are shy, I get that. I know at one point you had a crush on me and you didn't say anything because you valued our friendship more than anything. I love you for that. For valuing me and what we have. So I decided to wait for you, because I value you and your decision as well..."

I get what she is saying. I do. But for the love of me...I cannot understand why she decided to keep her deep feelings for me a secret because that is not the AnneMarie I know. My bestfriend has always had that boldness and daring that sometimes I feel like AnneMarie is not scared of anything.

Perfect example: she went after Robin.

"Then why do you dislike Robin this way?" I asked.

"Because he is trying to take you," AnneMarie simply said. "I was waiting yet Robin has a mind to just swoop you off your feet and take you away from me. I was willing to wait, Blu...but I'm not promising not to swat away others who think they can have you. I just have to get rid of him. Threaten him away."

"Oh yes..." I nodded. This one I understand clearly. This reminded me of that time AnneMarie and I made kimchi together. It was during that crazy time that we both liked a Kdrama about a goblin and his bride. In our craziness, we tried our hands at making kimchi, a favorite sidedish of Koreans.

Kimchi needed to be matured to taste good. It's basically fermented cabbage. It needed fermentation period. It takes at least two weeks of storage for it to truly taste good. I want to try what we made on the get go but AnneMarie swatted my hands away from our kimchi.

"We have to wait, Blu. I promise it will be good. We did everything right, followed that recipe well, so I know it will be good."

And she was right. It was good. I'm not enamored of sour and spicy food but that kimchi has a punch. I now understand why Koreans cannot eat their instant ramen without kimchi. It was the perfect combination.

Well, this time I am the kimchi. AnneMarie is waiting for me to mature and take our relationship further. Believing it will be good. Meanwhile, she will swat away anyone who will think to touch and taste me.